Dad Things - Issue #44
Hey friends,
I haven't written up here in awhile. I haven't had much to say, but still had things to share. For those of you with kids, I urge you to read the Must Read article. They always say, "Enjoy your kids when they're young. It goes by so fast." I've been a dad long enough to catch myself saying this to my friend who are just becoming parents because it's true. This article beautifully articulates why that is.
Take care everyone.
Must Read
Why We Long for the Most Difficult Days of Parenthood
I’ll stop to make the usual caveats: I love my daughters. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But there’s no question that the first few years of their lives have been the hardest of mine. Some stretches, particularly at the height of the pandemic, were nothing short of grueling. Things have gotten more manageable since, but I’ve never turned down an opportunity to get away from my kids for a couple of hours. I rejoiced when my 3-year-old started preschool this fall. I wouldn’t say I’m cherishing every second.
Although the utter physical dependency of a small child on their parents can be overwhelming, it comes with an intimacy that is impossible to preserve as the child matures...Regardless of how close my daughter and I remain, there will come a time when she no longer seeks comfort by crawling into my lap. Whatever liberation comes with that transition will be bittersweet.
I'm in the unique position where my oldest is 7 years older than my youngest. My oldest is 14 and her brother is 7. He still asks me for hugs and cries when something doesn't go his way. I remember when his older sister used to do that. I don't remember the last time she randomly gave me a hug and I realize that that time is coming soon for my son. And it kills me.
There’s no sense in trying to cherish every moment of early parenting as it happens, Graham told me. Too much is going on, and much of it isn’t enjoyable. But keep an eye out for the precious moments amid the tumult and chaos, she said. Do what you can to imprint them in your memory—write them down, or share them with friends. Collect them like gems, so that when your arms are finally free and your eyes are a little clearer, you can turn them over in your hand.
I often catch myself remembering when the older one was the same age as my youngest is now. And how it seemed so long ago but also not, all at the same time.
I could have block quoted this entire article. So much of it hits home.
Quick Links
🐻 An Oversimplified Flag of California
Someone on Reddit posted this oversimplified of the California flag and I am all for it.
🏄♂️ How to Spend a Perfect Weekend in Santa Cruz
When we lived in the Bay Area, taking a day trip to Santa Cruz was one of our favorite things to do. It's close enough to make it a day trip and far enough away to make it feel like we're going somewhere. There are a ton of things to do there. Reading this made me miss it.
🤡 Who Said It: Elon Musk or Mr. Burns?
Comparing Elon to Mr. Burns is hilarious. I've been a fan of The Simpsons ever since the show started and if I wasn't a fan of the show, I'm sure I would have gotten more wrong. I got 75% right.
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Twitter: @jaytorres