i finally understand bags by clairo
hi everybody!
hi guys it’s winter break and i’m sooooooo freeeeeeee
I just rewatched GoodFellas and it affirmed how great of a film it is in a way I really needed. ray liotta has a face that looks like the bold glamour filter on tiktok. it’s like he’s ai before ai. it’s scary and freaky to look at but fascinating… when he would laugh his face would never stretch enough to make it look real or appropriate, it was like he was full of botox but idk how prevalent botox was when they filmed in 1988. the shrek team did a great job capturing his essence. freaky plastic skinned man with incredible eyelashes.
now i’m watching Am I OK? after max started playing it when I just clicked the button to expand its description, excellent UI. it sucks and dakota johnson can’t act and she has no chemistry with aaaaaaanybody, least of all her on-screen best friend. it’s crazy where nepotism can get you. okay and now she’s gay. i’m not turning this off yet and i’m gonna continue this commentary throughout this email.
what’s up?
I’ve been shopping. a nightmarish amount at that. I think I’ve developed an eBay addiction, I bought three cameras from there just in the past week. and they are soooooo cute too.
ranking the digicams by quality, the cybershot has the best quality, the canon second, and coolpix is so bad it’s crazy. but I haven’t uploaded the coolpix pictures to my computer so i don’t know if they’re really bad quality or if the little screen is just terrible.
okay so this whole movie is just dakota johnson being a virgin lesbian. totally unconvincing. the best friend is gayer and she’s got a boyfriend that she is literally cheating on right now???? with one of the girls at this lesbian party???? okay whatever
target had a sale for 20% vinyl records for verified college students soooooo i bought 5 albums! i’ve had helmet and give you the world by steve lacy stuck in my head so i bought Gemini Rights and it’s a really good print! i also bought To Pimp A Butterfly and the print on side C is sooooo horrible there’s skips all over i’m so sad about it 😭 i also bought B’Day, A Seat At The Table, and untitled unmastered but they’re coming later :)
woah okay is this movie like daria or something the best friend who should be gay but isn’t is also wasian. and her name is jane. like woah.
anyway, I’m excited for the new year so I can start using my planners that I spent so much on. I’m also excited for the fresh start a new year brings and I will be one of millions of Americans that start going to the gym in January.
I’m really excited about the future and who I’m becoming and who I will be. I’ve been thinking a lot about the future and about marriage and relationships etc etc and talking to older women in my community and they’ve all been saying basically the same thing: stay single.
I could reason that it’s my being an only child, or my childhood, or some other factor that makes me inclined to staying single, but it’s not. some people are relationship people, some people are single people. I am a single person. I don’t like relationships or dating, I don’t like sacrificing what I want to do for someone else, I like hanging out with friends, I like myself, I like being alone.
I’m not inconsiderate or selfish, I just want to do me with no interruptions. marriage and relationships are built on, basically, trust, love, and sacrifice. I have no will to sacrifice for someone else. I can’t imagine being at some point in my life where I’m willing to put down what I want to do to for a partner. that takes so much love and so much trust, and I don’t have any inclination to develop that amount and type of love for someone. for anyone.
I see my future ultimately leading one way: me having absolute freedom to do what I love, go where I want, hang out with my friends, and owning a beautiful home. I’ve always wanted and loved kids, but I don’t see them in my future as much as I want them. the true, only reason I would get married is to have kids (and have sex). and if I had those kids, I would give anything for them. but a partner? you could not pay me.
the movie just ended. it sucked. molly gordon is in it too.
I might and probably will eat my words later, but that later would have to be in like 10 years. or at the earliest sometime after I turn 25 and my frontal lobe is ripe. but for now… no. it would take a work of god. I would have to convinced.
anyway! don’t expect anything from me but expect some things in the future. maybe. it will be videos, probably. but I might change my mind. I’ll see you next year.
I hope you're having a good day. take care of yourself, bye-bye! <3