IS: My needs as a gift
Upcoming events:
- Sunday April 27: Community Hub 18.3
- Tuesday April 29: The Oasis
- Friday May 2: IS Connection Call
Last week's newsletter was "Venture-ing forth" and last Sunday's hub call was "Easter transcendence".
Sitting down to write this, 10pm, end of a busy day. I notice that I've done a bit of "bedtime rebellion" the last couple nights, staying up late in the stillness of the quiet house to do some nothing despite an unfinished task backlog. Today looked better on paper but it felt like the tasks were multiplying sometimes, tasks spawning more tasks.
Scanning through my body, I feel a couple reverberations echoing. Oh, that one's lingering from boundary-holding conflict energy over there. Oh, this bit is some reactivity in a parenting challenge. I feel some excitements bouncing up higher with upbeat energy — momentum over thataway, new possibility in this direction. Then a bit of mental overcrowding, overload, not quite enough space to stay in integrity with every responsibility.
From the felt senses, through the stories the parts are telling, noticing the "what now?" in my system. Recognition: feeling a practiced groove towards allowing those desires, those needs, to be as they are. They are valid; they're caring for me and for others. I notice the positive potential of imbalance and incompleteness — they're calling me to open up to trusting the capacity and care of others. My "lack" is an activation potential in our wider system.
I feel a little distrust writing that last sentence. But what if it were true? What if my system reaching out to others for grounding, contact, integrity, what if that really is a gift, a gift of meaning and connection and calling to the greater whole?
Ah. Rest, sinking down, letting go. Now I can sleep.
Cheers,
James