IS: Don't hold back when-
Upcoming open events:
- Friday, May 31: Open-to-all Office Hours
- Saturday, June 8: Exploratory Series session #5 — Mettā Meditation with Tasshin Fogleman
all start @ 1pm Pacific Time (4pm Eastern, 8pm UTC). S14 Core Calls on Sundays for members run every week through June 23.
Don't hold back when in your integrity.
Last Saturday's Feldenkrais session with Seth helped me refine my sense of physical bodily integrity: To which side does my head have an easier time turning? Which leg am I using more to move my pelvis? How is my knee connected to my eyes when I turn to look at something? I have a particular sense, when I am in a state of holistic bodily self-awareness, of what it is like to be in that state: flowy, responsive, connected, flexible, precise, smooth.
Next (June 8th) Saturday, mettā with Tasshin may play a similar role in my/our sense of integrity of stance (of loving-kindness) toward another person. Inhabiting and embodying loving-kindness feels to me like: clear, geyser, flowing, shiny, connecting, tapping, expanding.
Circling for several years has helped me to find a quality of emotional and relational integrity. I was able to lean into that state in a meeting this morning, really own my thoughts and desires, and express myself without the layers of filters and analyzers that I'd originally wired up in my teen years. There is again something that it is like to be in that state of authenticity: alive, vital, smooth, responsive, attuned, true, open.
Take all of those what-it's-like words, please, and smoosh them together into a ball/wordcloud in your mind right now. That is what I want to point at with in your integrity.
I find that I can trust myself a lot in that state. I can also trust my sense of whether or not I am indeed in that state or not. Sometimes yes, sometimes no (but often then I don't think to check), sometimes it's there-but-wobbly and can be turned toward.
I can trust myself a lot in that state, to react and think and speak and act in ways that reflect goodness, truth, and beauty. It's reliable — my self-system has the capacity to do that! It's not a "can magically do anything" superpower, but it is a "can do excellently the things I'm capable of (which is more than we usually assume), and cleanly know the boundaries of that capacity" power. So my message to myself, and to you, when in that state of integrity, is: Don't hold back! Let it flow!
Don't be naïve about "not holding back." It doesn't mean e.g. "take center stage and talk a lot" — unless that's what the situation calls for. Don't hold back on doing what's right, when you're in touch with the rightness available in the situation! And when you're not in touch with that kind of integrity... maybe DO hold back! You can also trust your lack of self-trust, and hold that with whatever awareness you can muster.
Yeah, "doing what's right" does kind of boil down to the tautology of "everybody is always doing their best all the time". But I'm pointing at sensing your integrity as an observable, reliable indicator here. Wire that up to your "LET'S GOOOooo" energy, trusting that wisdom and using it instead of stifling it, and see yourself come alive and be more effective and powerful and vital!
A message to my past self, current self, and to you too whenever the time is right for you to hear it.
Cheers,
James