Intentional Society: Like a child
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Try on an identity with me here for a minute: "I am like a child." Try it, say it — does that feel more good or bad, more right or wrong? Most adults have rightfully significant resistance or disagreement with that frame. And there's something of immense worth here. Let me rewind and unpack a bit.
Contemplating notions of "personal whys", "purpose", and motivation, I started with a trial story of "I identify with my Why/caring/calling" as an attempt to put a useful label on where the "is-a" of identity rests for the self-transforming (Kegan language) mindset. Out beyond the socialized frame of "I am who I am according to who/how my relationships define me to be". Out beyond the self-authored frame of "I am my authentic true self of who/how I have found me to really be". Out into the self-as-process space of self-transforming flux, without going all the way to "there is no I, self does not exist" as that feels not so useful when rising from the pillow to interact with the world.
In that gap in between, I see (in my own inner wayfinding) something that almost doubles back around to and integrates the "impulsive mind" of early childhood. (I'm just seeing this connection now, by the way.) In the space of a particular system, with my identity in relationship to that system (and all systems), with care for my relationships there (and in all systems), and also for my needs there (and holistically in all systems)... I can (like a child) trust my impulses! The vast spaciousness of construct-awareness, it includes (in the "transcend and include" sense) all the way back to impulse — and those impulses are informed by (in a very McGilchrist right-brained way) everything; they integrate everything across all that awareness.
Of course, I'm ironically aware that the above two paragraphs also sound like an extremely left-brained way to logic my way back into trusting myself. Which, that isn't wrong: It feels like the edge is "trusting my trust", working with that rational part (in my parts landscape, IFS frame) to help it relax and trust that the impulses of the integrated Self can be trusted in a way that the impulses of that childhood self couldn't (because they were lacking so much awareness and context).
Integrating the adult (who is) integrating the child — that reminds me of some ancient wisdom: "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3
"What do you want?" can have answers for many different layers of "you". It can even be called a trick question, and maybe the question becomes "What does the universe want of you?"
And if that question sounds like the type that has an answer... recall how quickly the impulses of a child shift. We dance with a bigger universe of awareness, and the answer is always-arising, a dependent origination, a motion of pull meets push, a vector on a landscape. Deep wisdom of our simplest moves powered by our most complex capacity.
May we together find trust, find wisdom, and be moved by the direction of that integrated-impulsive childlike intelligence.
Cheers,
James