Maybe the Default Settings Are Too High

David | Raptitude | Dec 24, 2025

It seems that my default consumption speeds for reading and eating (and maybe everything else) reduce the rewards of those things significantly, undermining the point of doing either.

Part of it is my own impatience. But I also suspect that modern living, with its infinite supply of consumables, tends to push our rate-of-intake dials too high. I’m not going to run out of books, or snacks, or opportunities to learn something. There’s always more, so not every crust of bread or printed page needs to be appreciated fully.

The Unseen

Allison Pugh | Aeon | Jun 19, 2025

Instead, pundits and policymakers are applying the word ‘loneliness’ to address a real and growing problem, but they are applying the wrong diagnosis. What they might call ‘loneliness’ is actually a different sort of crisis, one of depersonalisation. Depersonalisation is what happens when people feel not exactly lonely, but rather profoundly invisible. What is missing here is what scholars call ‘recognition’, ‘mattering’ or ‘being seen’ – the notion that you are seen and heard, even emotionally understood, by the people around you, as opposed to feeling insignificant or invisible to others.

As it turns out, the way we participate in online spaces contributes to their impact. For instance, while staying in touch with friends and family is the most common reason people give for using social media, around half maintain this is not their primary motivation; indeed, almost 40 per cent report they use social media to ‘fill spare time’, testament to the growing use of social media as entertainment as much as connection. Ultimately, depersonalisation can stem from endlessly scrolling past other people’s posts, serving as merely an audience for their experiences, bearing witness to other people while never being witnessed in return.