This Weekend
While states were busy re-opening, the people who were previously chaining themselves to the governor’s desk so that they could die inside the World’s Last Bennigan’s had to redirect their energy to something, and they decided to point the fake outrage machine to…Land O’Lakes Butter?
I thought something was wrong with the random number generator that came up with that, but it turns out that Land O’Lakes decided to shed the Native American woman from all of its branding, which has gone and upset The Worst People:
We will not be buying this brand anymore
First, imagine being this simple. You can’t even do it! Not without envisioning some sort of head trauma. A subsequent tweet from this same fella laments all the people coming by to roast him and his wife on Twitter, which is definitely a stance to take after you’ve thrown a hissy fit because the lady’s not on your butter anymore.
The one weird thing is, from their website, there is still an option for people who want to support Land O’Lakes, but can’t go without their butter lady:
Just get the Less Sodium with Canola Oil variant on there, before it’s rebranded to I Can’t Believe It’s Not Racist! and you get upset all over again.
Watch This: MIDSOMMAR - now available through Amazon Video
On the news today that A24 is auctioning off some assets from the film to help raise funds for the New York City Fire Department (only 7 grand right now for the smashy mallet!), now is as good a time as any to recommend the latest from Ari Aster (HEREDITARY), who’s quickly carving out a space creating films that, while not outright scary, are very uncomfortable to watch. It starts off with grad student Dani Ardor (the wonderful Florence Pugh what a year for her) finding out her sister has killed their parents and then herself, the film has her navigating her grief as well as the deterioration of her relationship with boyfriend Christian (Jack Reynor), who up until the tragedy was working up to breaking up with her. He invites her along on what was a boys’ trip with his grad school friends to investigate the solstice rituals of a small village in Sweden, which happens to be the hometown of one of the gang. As is often the case, things do not go well.
While Tom Brady may leave behind big shoes to fill, the Patriots have moved quickly to fill his big red MAGA hat at least, drafting a kicker who, it was noted by eagle and pigeon eyes alike, is adorned with tattoos of a white militia group. Accidentally, it turns out, he just liked the logo. You know, that he just happened upon in his travels. Of not being a white supremacist. Just like his “Don’t Tread On Me” one, all random. Okay.
In lighter, hot-dog-related news, two items; the first, from a larger chart of various preparations of hot dogs around the world, is this food nightmare:
all right europe you guys arent allowed to make hot dogs anymore. the czech one is straight up a dog’s penis.
The Czech Republic one, while looking obscene, is probably pretty tasty, but the entrant form Sweden has to be some kind of practical joke from someone who passed through town SHRIMP SALAD AND LETTUCE the MIDSOMMAR thing makes much more sense now. Though I suppose we’re the country that needed a pandemic to keep us from mass shooting each other for a month so the gross hot dog seems like a fair trade.
Hot dog item two is this use of Animal Crossing to recreate the Hot Dog Car sketch from I Think You Should Leave, which was celebrated its first year of existing on Netflix this weekend, and which I assume you’ve all watched already off the earlier recommendation here.
While I’ve had mixed feelings about The Last Dance (its maniacal need to re-center everyone’s story around Michael Jordan is really to its detriment) I certainly hope when the show arrives to the actual Finals series it takes time to address Dennis Rodman skipping practice IN THE FINALS to go promote a wrestling match he was going to have that would pit him and Hulk Hogan vs Karl Malone and Diamond Dallas Page later that summer.
What cracked me up most about Dennis Rodman disappearing in Vegas for multiple days during the 1998 season as detailed in Episode 4 is — later in the season, Rodman skipped a practice during the NBA Finals to appear on WCW alongside Hollywood Hogan and the NWO. 😂 #TheLastDance
I tried to find a way to double italicize “IN THE FINALS” so that the letters laid sideways or something but couldn’t figure it out.
Now here’s a workout program I can get behind:
And finally, to leave you with something soothing and kind of awe-inspiring, here’s some dolphins swimming through bioluminescent waters.
