Panda Horniness Will Never Be Understood
Question 1: Does the zoo keep someone on hand to get photographic evidence of this sort of thing? The angle of the photo makes it seem very voyeuristic, like they’re going to use them to blackmail the pandas. It’s understandable that they wouldn’t exactly be exhibitionists, though I don’t think pandas are aware of their current population predicament. Maybe acutely, based on how much the humans seem to want them to get it on all the time, going so far as to produce panda pornography for them to watch for educational purposes, which…sure. From the pictures though it looks like when they closed the zoo they also turned off the firewall to the dirtier panda paysites because look. at. that.
Executive director Michael Boos says it’s “extremely exciting” as there’s a higher chance of pregnancy.
Photo courtesy of Ocean Park
After doing more research into panda fertility than I was expecting when I woke up this morning (>3 minutes for those wondering), it really does seem like pandas aren’t meant for this world, as they seem on a biological level to just be very averse to reproducing, basically having a period of being receptive to mating for 2-7 days a year, and within that timeframe a fertility period of 24-36 hours, which completely explains why you have to tip to make requests, time is of the essence here.
Watch This: I don’t have a link to the pandas making whoopie, so how about SPRING BREAKERS - available on Netflix
It’s tough to describe the movie without sounding like a fever dream, but the gist of it is four girls commit a robbery to fund their spring break trip, and the film follows them through that neon and drug-soaked week in Florida. Written and directed by Harmony Korine, and starring Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens, James Franco and Gucci Mane(!), the film definitely has something to say about the modern culture of excess that we’ve made for ourselves. Whether the film is either a celebration or condemnation of that is up to the viewer, but it’s tough to imagine falling completely on one side or the other.
I’ve maintained during this election cycle that Andrew Yang was the Eloon Musk of the field, a profoundly dumb person whose wealth somehow blinds everyone to the true scope of their idiocy, so it was unsurprising to see this pop up yesterday.
An army vet friend suggested that soldiers and vets be allowed to voluntarily get the virus in order to maintain readiness, provide an immune workforce and research antibodies. These guys and gals are hardcore. 🇺🇸
Much in the same way that openly musing that drinking that fish tank cleaner would help treat the disease, using your platform to just float every dumb idea that you encounter is irresponsible, considering the data’s not even in on whether catching it leaves you immune afterwards. Also having entire squads of people with debilitatingly low lung capacity seems ill-advised but that’s just me. In a field that included people like John Delaney, that Andrew is still reaching for the title of dumbest candidate, non-dementia division is commendable. Worth it, though, for replies like this one.
The two-night WrestleMania event was this past weekend, and showcased a couple of very odd matches that were only made possible by the situation that WWE found themselves in due to all the crowd restrictions. One was a Boneyard match, which took place, as the name would imply, in a no-joke boneyard, because graveyards feel a little grim, but people like bones. The other was a Firefly Funhouse match which, if you’re like me, doesn’t tell you anything from the name. What wound up happening during that match drew references to wrestling by way of David Lynch which was…unexpected, but it does sound truly bonkers from this excellent write-up by Brandon Stroud, one of, if not the best writer on wrasslin around. Take a look if you’re interested in a segment that comments on the last decade-plus of WWE and internal company politics.
Speaking of David Lynch my enthusiasm for this was dampened by not being able to immediately purchase one, and needing an inkjet printer anno domini 2020 to create one, but still—not wrong.
There is now a four-part documentary on animation gawd Hayao Miyazaki available to stream, as our frothing demand for his library on streaming increases ahead of the release of HBO Max, the latest in the never-ending series of HBOs available online.
Another conference moved out of meatspace to online, the Now Play This festival featured conversations about game design that were held remotely, including a talk with the developers of Untitled Goose Game that took place inside the world of Animal Crossing, a collision of my interests if I ever saw one. See that, a photo walk inside No Man’s Sky and more over via their Twitch.
Finally, after the way these first three months have gone, I really don’t blame them. MEET ME IN TEMECULA COWARD.
