Only One Day!
Starting first with this article about a troubling looking baby, “I Despise the Large Baby”. Before you get upset about an article ragging on the baby…you should really take a look at this thing.
Aside from being an interesting look into the editorial process at neoDeadspin, the article does make some very good points about this baby. To start with, that’s an adult, and I will not be convinced otherwise. Like Baby Herman from WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT this is obviously an adult male pulling some sort of free food and diaper scam on some unsuspecting couple, and the video captures it in the middle of The Prestige on the whole act. Also, it looks like they applied baby powder with one of those grocery store granola scoops, it looks like LeBron is entering a game except now he’s clapping cheeks instead of hands. Truly disturbing.
Watch This: GREEN ROOM - available via Netflix
Written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier (BLUE RUIN, also on Netflix, watch em both why not), GREEN ROOM follows a punk band that takes a gig at what turns out to be a neo-Nazi bar. Despite their provocative song choices, everyone’s about to make it out when one of them stumbles into a murder that’s just taken place, and what was already not going particularly well devolves from there. Starring Patrick Stewart and Anton Yelchin, the film veers between turning and wrenching your stomach, absolutely shoveling tension upon you until everything erupts.
This whole thread of someone going through an old church recipe book is a great ad for cultural integration, as old church folk left to their own devices went and crafted a New Book of the Dead with some of this nonsense. It’s wild to me that the same people who craft recipes and title them “United Daughters of the Confederacy Grits Casserole” would be upset that we’re trying to move on from their sins.
The price of oil went negative today, and given the people who are upset by it, it seems like a pretty good thing. It also means that this smug tweet that never made sense in the first place has aged exquisitely:
Choices, choices…
A barrel at this moment is now running -$37.63, which means a copy of Animal Crossing is now infinitely more valuable than oil, to say nothing of the Switch console itself, which is so scarce that it’s attracted the attention of people who normally use bots to buy sneakers, who are now flipping the console for resale at 2-3x the retail price. While the price is so low though, it’s giving people good ideas for absurd get-rich-quick schemes to exploit the market.
People were chuckling at former President Obama’s appearance in the Michael Jordan documentary last night, but given this screencap of next week’s episode it seems like the director may just not be aware of geopolitics as a general concern.
In a related item, general fan of Boston Bill Simmons couldn’t help but make the MJ doc all about himself and his fandom, positing the Bird-era Celtics as a better team and setting himself up for a very good burn. This is also the place to plant the flag that while comparing eras is a tricky art, the absolute worst team today would wreck every Larry Bird team, 4 games to 0 every time.
Two state-related threads today:
A tier-ranking of states by their shape, including an accurate assessment of Maryland.
A countdown ranking of states by their flags, which also reminds you of how many states still have Confederate imagery in their designs.
Earlier this month should have seen the release of the latest James Bond film, and though the release was moved back to November, the promotional machine was already well on its way by the time the decision was made, as there’s usually been at least one Craig film playing on cable at any given moment. In addition to that, other promotional pieces like this interview with director Cary Fukunaga with fellow director Miranda July (ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW) were likely already in the can and, luckily for us, are now available for your reading pleasure.
Finally, it’s your money do what you want:
