Okay I Promise to Stop Leading with Elon
So let’s talk about this Mario ad:
Marc @MarcSnetiker
fully losing my mind over this Nintendo ad where Kim Cattrall is horny for Mario??!!?? https://t.co/fjnOajDccrI have absolutely no memory of this ad for what appears to be Super Mario 3D Land for the 3DS, which some research shows ran around 2012. In this, Kim Cattrall, most notably of Sex and the City, is extremely horny for Mario, which is something that you’re certainly allowed to be, this is America after all and I’m not your dad. My best guess is that I was pre-occupied with the Mayan apocalypse predictions around that time, as the literal end of the world seems like the only thing that could draw my attention away from a Nintendo ad where someone wants Mario to come through and absolutely get it. Especially when Waluigi, obviously the best lover of all the Wa/Ma-men, is right there.
Pure romanza baby. This does explain why Nintendo made 2013 the Year of Luigi because everyone needed to go to church after this Mario ad.
Watch This: Working 24 Hours At… - available via YouTube
A sadly short-lived web series from Bon Appétit magazine, it features editor Andrew Knowlton taking on shifts at various iconic restaurants like Chick-fil-A and Waffle House, he has to quickly learn the ropes while going through pretty much every job available over the course of 24 straight hours. While the five episodes run for a total of about an hour, the show is packed with great people who offer varying levels of tolerance as Knowlton slides in and potentially provides a big disruption to what normally needs to be a well-oiled machine, and you can see how some of them come to respect him after thinking he’d be much more hands-off/softer about the whole experience. Also, remember restaurants?
I think it’s clear by now that I don’t care much for anyone involved in this Elon baby situation (least of all the baby), but even I had to empathize with Grimes getting mansplained within hours of childbirth as she tried to explain the name of Lil Rumpelstiltskin or whatever the hell it is.
On the opposite side of the enjoyment spectrum is the failed coup in Venezuela by a bunch of absolute cretins. There’s a good rundown of the idiocy at New York, but basically a bunch of big lads who look like their day jobs involve carrying RPGs in Build-a-Bear Workshops because The Constitution tried to invade Venezuela to overthrow the government. Surprisingly, their combat experience of 500 hours of Call of Duty games did not yield any dividends, and it was a regular Bay of Hogs with the whole team getting scooped up by the Venezuelan government. It’s so dumb that there’s almost no doubt the administration helped out in planning this, and I’d imagine it’s only a matter of time until they find Don Jr’s contact card on all their phones.
In other Large Lad News, this Twitter thread is a good breakdown of all the things that these state reopening freedom fighters get wrong when they cosplay as military personnel.
These assclowns have no earthly idea how to wear combat equipment!
Most notable is wearing Michael Jordan-ass relaxed fit jeans to war while not tucking them into your boots, and also buying comically small armor because you don’t want to wear a heavy vest all the time, leaving so many vital organs exposed.
In much sweeter news, this is a great thread about how a child’s love of letter-writing has inspired an outpouring of responses from postal workers all over. This whole situation has provided cover for Republicans to try and finish their work of gutting the USPS, which would have a whole host of negative consequences, especially in a year where mail-in/absentee voting is likely to be more important than ever.
When a typo makes a good PSA a great PSA:
I’ve seen a bunch of movies that start off on this premise, but I’m glad people are bringing the sentiment into the real world.
In other PSA news, they got the Ghanaian dancers to record one for social distancing, and if this doesn’t make the message clear to people I guess we’re all boned then.
The Ghana coffin dancers made a video to thank doctors and also warned everyone to “stay home or dance with us.”
9-Eyes is a site that contains odd scenes observed by Google Street View cameras. It’s interesting that so many random incidents occur around these cars as they roam the streets passively ingesting all this physical location data.
Finally, from the Really Makes You Think Department:
Update: I still haven’t seen that video and am making great progress on dying with that still being the case.