It Was Literally One Month
Normally the humor of their headlines comes from their outrageousness, but in the case of “Man Just Buying One Of Every Cleaning Product In Case Trump Announces It’s Coronavirus Cure”. I missed this picture from the other day, but it really is haunting and, just in case you didn’t think Trump was lying about everything being a big joke, here’s it is:
What a powerful mind. I remember the talk that at least comedy would be good under Trump, but I don’t think people were expecting as much “literally reciting something he did or said” to take place. Now to close the loop, someone’s got to show him the The Onion article to see what literal poison he’ll decide to recommend next. Just bunches of Freedom Fighters eating roach motels like ducks because “believe me, once the virus checks in, it won’t check out, you know? It’s something we should look into”.
Watch This: THE NICE GUYS - available via HBO Go
Dang now we’re getting into the even bougie-er streaming services. It’s weird to think that writer/director Shane Black bookended a trip into the Marvel universe (IRON MAN 3) with two great buddy detective flicks, with THE NICE GUYS and the basically-perfect KISS KISS BANG BANG. This entry of his features Russell Crowe as Jackson Healy, a hired rough who finds himself teamed with a pretty lousy private investigator (Ryan Gosling, demonstrating a surprising proficiency in physical comedy) and his daughter Holly (Angourie Rice) as they unravel a labyrinthine mystery in 70s LA, which takes them from the death of a porn star all the way into a conspiracy that also ties up the American automobile industry. While that ploy sometimes has trouble connecting the dots, it’s worth it to live in the seedy world Black has created, and his dialogue and the interplay between his actors remains best-in-class.
Happy birthday today to Al Pacino, star of an unfair amount of cinema classics. And also this segment in JACK & JILL, which is forever seared into my memory, and which gets a nice remembrance from writer Robert Smigel, who you may also know as the voice of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. As a bonus link, also have this great, LITTLE clip from ANY GIVEN SUNDAY.
This brief clip is a wild look at the heat-containing powers of the materials used on the space shuttle, and I want to know when someone first decided it would be okay to pick one of those cubes up to show it off.
While today this AI is only being used to learn how to doodle penises, after researchers allowed it to ingest more than 10,000 drawings, it feels like we’ve inexorably pushed ourselves towards the reality where we have one of the weirder SkyNets, and the T-800 or 1000 that we get will be a perfect meme machine.
I need to see whoever made this on Shark Tank with their sales figures someday.
Sure it’s one of those algorithmically-generated assortment of products, but you have to imagine there’s someone out there that this rug is meant for, who would see it and immediately need it in their home.
Oh no, poor banana.
I don’t know where my doubts about bananas having genders came from, but regardless it seems like a pretty cold hand to do that to…banana on this milestone. I also am only vaguely aware of what The Masked Singer is besides that very cursed footage of Sarah Palin doing “Baby Got Back” on there, which we will not be linking as a matter of policy, and remember when she was close to being Vice President? And then turned out to not even be the dumbest candidate within the same decade to run for high office? Yikes.
Okay, maybe we just open one barbershop, and it’s for the guy waiting in these pictures, though why you wouldn’t be first in line with that hair he’s rocking, I’m sure I don’t know. Maybe it makes more sense with a cowboy hat on or something.
Finally, in more surprisingly viable industries news, three words for you: sea urchin hats.
