A Quick Jump Out of the Gate
After getting called out the other day for being part of Team Reopen the Country, it looks like Elon took a long, hard look in the mirror and…let me check my notes…doubled down on being an absolute moron. On Friday he tweeted out of the blue that Tesla’s stock price, much like the rent, was too damn high, and investors bravely helped him out and drove prices down more than 10% during the rest of the session. It speaks to his character that at this point it’s a toss-up between:
He’s clumsily participating in some sort of stock price shorting scheme.
Just another day in Moronville for Elon.
I’m sure when Elon’s the newly-elected president in like 2032 I’ll be rushing back to delete this post, but hopefully he’ll have moved to the “remote island” phase of his cult of personality by then and I’ll have just forgotten about the guy.
Watch This: ONE CUT OF THE DEAD - available via Shudder (which is still available for free 30-day trials with code SHUTIN)
It’s tough to talk about why this movie is great without spoiling it, as something happens about midway through that really turns everything you’ve seen before on its head. The closest I can get is:
The plot is that a film crew trying to make a zombie movie without any cuts gets overrun by actual no-joke zombies.
The film is intentionally subpar throughout the first act.
A weird setup for a recommendation, I’m sure, but after the string is pulled on this one I was grinning like a moron for the rest of the runtime.
It’s okay everyone, she says she’s not a Nazi!
This was one of the signs at the “Re-open Illinois” event today. She assured those that she was not a Nazi, and stated, “I have Jewish friends.” Thank you for representing yourself and your “movement” for what it is.
This picture was taken at the Karennacht demnstration in Illinois, and is so staggeringly stupid that the person who posted this also had to post a video to prove that it was real. If I’m slobbering all over my American flag mask to send people back to work, I’d extend the sign brainstorming session one or two ideas longer than “the literal slogan above the gates to Auschwitz, and even the ‘b’ is styled the same way”. Much like the Elon thing, it’s dumb enough to make you think that she’s some sort of plant meant to discredit the movement, but again it just turns out that these people are just our attempt to moonwalk back a phase or two on the evolutionary chart.
I really want to see what Machete’s island and player look like:
Also just imagining him getting very upset at a parade of people going through his town trying to sell turnips.
A cool, small thread about someone’s father, a lifelong Chicago Cubs fan, writing letters to other teams offering his services during some darker days. Some of the teams responded with varying levels of enthusiasm, understandably wanting to avoid getting Cubs-stink on themselves, nearly 8 decades into their World Series drought at the time.
I hope to someday love anything as much as Harrison Ford loves getting into plane-related hijinks, and much like driving, actually maybe even more than driving, we need some kind of age cap for operating these things. I don’t know what the exact number is, but Ford is 77 and it feels like that’s close or beyond where you’d want a pilot to be. Also given his number of close calls I feel like he’s got a Dorian Gray thing going on except it’s the Kennedy family tree in his attic.
Speaking of suspicious timing, this does track:
If you’re not comically online, this Twitter thread is a good jumping-off point for some of the best, strangest writing the internet has managed to produce.
And finally, the preface kind of spoils the rest of the video, but it’s still pretty thrilling to watch in that “pit in your stomach” sort of way.
