March 19, 2020

2 Letter 2 Furious

Okay so to try and compile content for this I keep a running list that syncs across everything I have, and my brain’s so zapped by being online that I have very little recollection of even seeing the stuff that’s from the beginning of the day. It’s a weird side effect of this age that it feels like everything is happening all of the time, and you’re always with your head in the river as pure content just washes over you. Animal Crossing comes out for the Switch tomorrow and will probably help with that and I’ll just spend most of my time gathering fruit and it’s weird having a very structured, regimented virtual life of fruit picking/fossil hunting/lather/rinse/repeat in a little virtual box, but maybe it’s because of the limitations of the game. Animal Crossing, for those unfamiliar, is like The Sims if you weren’t allowed to actively impede and destroy the lives of all the inhabitants of the game and it’s a real delight despite that.

As much as I love it though, this story about GameStops being ordered by corporate to stay open in defiance of local mandates because the higher-ups consider themselves to be “essential retail” is reckless, like from all the stories I’ve heard from friends who worked at GameStop I can’t imagine anyone who works in a store making “stand up to the police” kind of money and going to the mat for it, though it did remind me of this story of a person who used GameStop as a de facto bank which is pretty stellar work:

Anyways, here’s the news:

Watch this: SERENITY -

In another sign that everything lasts forever, it occurred to me as I was grabbing a picture for this film that it came out in January of last year, meaning we had a single calendar year where this film and CATS were released and that’s mind-boggling. I’m not going to say much about this film other than it has nothing to do with the Joss Whedon Firefly-verse, because a straightforward description of the events in the film would make you think I was having some sort of synapse misfire as my brain was dying, but if you have Amazon Prime it’s available for free to stream and it’s a truly bonkers film in the best way, not in that self-aware bad film way.

I read somewhere that ESPN is bringing back The Ocho this weekend, but even if sports weren’t canceled, marble racing with a Spanish play-by-play track is something I’d tune into once in awhile, like on a World Series of Darts kind of frequency.

The lead singer of Trapt melted down on Twitter, firing off literal thousands of tweets in support of President Trump. I know what you’re thinking, and no, that’s Breaking Benjamin. No, that’s Buckcherry. Noooo, that’s Puddle of Mudd. Headstrong? There you go! Trapt! Of Headstrong fame. Apparently, RoyaltiesStrong because I’m surprised the band has enough money for a Twitter account, despite their last hit being old enough to buy cigarettes…in states where it’s still legal for 18-year olds to do that, anyways. Also too old for Drake.

WrestleMania to be held across two nights, hosted by Rob Gronkowski is a hell of a sentence, but this is our world in the time of corona. I’m sure it was one of those insurance technicalities, like they’d be on the hook if they canceled but if THE GOVERNMENT MAN says we can’t have WrestleMania then WWE gets reimbursed for expenses in some meaningful way, but it really did look like they were going to hold the event anyways, a very surprisingly greedy turn from the company that accepted Saudi money to hold a show there a cool Earth month after the government there had a journalist murdered, so indisputably that I don’t even have to put allegedly there to avoid some sort of legal action. So now they’re going to have matches spaced out at a bunch of empty venues a la that weird Stone Cold promo from yesterday, or this Bray Wyatt promo set to Twin Peaks music which is certainly one of the stranger collision of interests of mine.

A bunch of elephants got drunk off corn wine in China and passed out in a nearby field is a no-strings very wholesome story. Those elephants are living the dream, getting wild plastered and falling asleep touching butts with a friend/loved one and really what more could one want from this life.

In other animal news this dog kind of sings along to the Law & Order theme, and it’s worth visiting because it spawned a lot of “oh no mine too!” behavior and also a reply where someone’s cat gets very upset at all the dog noises.

And finally, something much less wholesome: there could be whole semesters devoted to dissecting this video of a Wartrio (a trio of Warios, duh) dancing extremely suggestively in time with a song in Super Smash Bros.