Comedy Influences: The Onion
A Newsletter of Humorous Writing
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Today we’re talking about one of our big comedy influences, America’s finest news source, The Onion. After that, we’ve got a couple of recommendations of things we’ve been into lately: a ‘60s crime novel, and two mustards that you’ll want to have on hand for your Fourth of July celebrations.
Comedy Influences: The Onion
LB: My first exposure to The Onion was via their first print collection, The Onion’s Finest News Reporting, when I was in 6th grade. It was a gift from my aunt, and I still have it—it’s on my bookshelf in my little curated comedy section.
JF: I’ve got the same book, on a similar comedy bookshelf! Their Our Dumb Century book was a big one for me too, and it was essential companion reading to what I was learning in history class. I remember their headline about the attack at Pearl Harbor being against a “colonially occupied non-state” changing the context of how I understood that history.
LB: When I started regularly reading The Onion online—and it was truly essential reading for me—it was in the dialup era. They would only update their site once a week, on Tuesdays. So every Tuesday when I got home from school, I would go on the site, load every new article from that week, and then go offline to read them so that I wouldn’t tie up the phone line.
JF: This was also the era of school computer labs—which may still exist, but unfortunately there’s no way to know. I remember that The Onion’s website was generally safe to browse, even when buzzkill teachers were around, since it looked like a news site. This wasn’t the case with other funny websites, which tended to have a wacky aesthetic that would immediately telegraph “not-school-related” from across the library.
Still, I definitely remember being told that The Onion was not appropriate for school at least once, while me and a friend were reading a Jean Teasdale op-ed, if memory serves.
LB: I think part of what made me respond to The Onion in such a big way was its very grounded depictions of certain slices of adult life that I just hadn’t encountered all that much before at that age. Articles like “Area Loser to Spend Rest of Day In Bed” (whose headline, when you look it up online, appears to have been changed to “Utter Failure to Spend Rest of Day in Bed” for some reason) seemed to provide some insight into the lives of people in an age range who I didn’t spend all that much time with.
JF: This is a great point, and one I think about a lot in the context of how much Seinfeld I was watching in middle and high school. What did all these jokes about dating, having sex, and taking the subway mean to me, really? The adult world was something strange, but it was important to me that I could laugh knowingly at jokes about it.
But also, Onion jokes that were closer to my life -- “Girl Moved To Tears By 'Of Mice And Men' Cliffs Notes” comes to mind -- were just as thrilling. The idea that anything I was doing was the kind of thing smart, funny people joked about made me feel smart and funny, which was validation I craved for better and for worse.
LB: I was always really jealous of anyone who had access to the print edition that The Onion used to put out. I believe they were basically only distributed in New York and Chicago, but completely free, via Onion-branded newspaper boxes. Whenever I’d visit New York I’d always keep an eye out for them, but I rarely seemed to have any luck finding them. I was on a zoom call a few years back and noticed in someone’s background that they had, in their apartment, one of those original Onion newspaper boxes. A priceless possession. And hey, the new owners are apparently trying to bring back the print edition—maybe something to look forward to!
Some Recommendations From Luke and James
James recommends The Name of the Game Is Death by Dan J. Marlowe, a great ‘60s noir. It’s a quick read, with the zippy lines and tight plotting you’d expect from a crime novel. There’s lots of gunplay and people saying things like, "Tell your story in hell, if you can get anyone to listen.” The protagonist is brutal and short-tempered, but what sets him apart from other pulp bruisers is that Marlowe gives him a simple but surprisingly affecting sympathy for animals. That character sharpness gives the noir’s plotting an added depth, and it’s very satisfying to see play out across the story. This one’s a great vacation book if you’re traveling this summer!
Luke recommends Nathan’s Spicy Brown Mustard with Coney Island Heat and Trader Joe’s Dill Pickle Mustard. I don’t know what “Coney Island Heat” means, but I love that it’s how they’re marketing Nathan’s Spicy Brown Mustard. I wouldn’t say that this mustard is actually super spicy. (Even if you’re generally averse to heat, you can probably handle it.) However, it does have a nice piquant red pepper flavor, which is a type of spicy that’s compellingly different from the “straight to your nose” type of heat you usually find in spicy mustards or horseradish mustards.
Turning to the Trader Joe’s offering, I’ll begin with what may be a hot take: Dill is an underrated herb. The dill flavor is foregrounded in this mustard, giving it a delightful brightness and zest. If you’re a real pickle-head, this probably won’t be enough of a pickle substitute for you to forego relish on your hot dog—but that’s okay, this mustard goes great with relish, allowing you to double down on the pickle flavor.
See you next week!
@lukevburns & @jamesfolta
We started this newsletter with our dear friend Brian Agler, and we want it to always honor his memory and his love of all things humorous. You can find our newsletter tribute to Brian here.
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