A Newsletter of Humorous Writing

For March 8-14, 2018, a roundup of the week's finest prose humor and prose humor-related news.

Hello and welcome to a Newsletter of Humorous Writing, the email propaganda arm of the acclaimed humorous readings show, An Evening of Humorous Readings. The phrase "I'm useless in the morning without a cup of coffee" would have a whole different meaning if we didn't drink coffee for a pick-me-up buzz, but instead used it to power our giant battle-saws that we need to fight off robo-raiders that come each dawn. You ever think about that?

What We Enjoyed This Week

How To Market To Me by River Clegg (The New Yorker) Friend of the Show River Clegg has a piece in the paper and ink New Yorker this week! Head to the nearest newsstand or steal a copy from a gentrified mailbox.
I Am The Very Important Longread Everyone Is Talking About by Rebecca Jennings (McSweeney's)

Modern Romance Dos and Don’ts by Chris Chafin (Little Old Lady Comedy)

The Science Behind Why Smoking One Cigarette Per Day Is Honestly Probably Fine by Emily Clouse (Reductress) The two adverbs in this title get us every time.

The Top Ten Headlines Trending on Axios, By Section by Steven Markow (The New Yorker)

Please Unfriend Me by Kimberly Harrington (The Belladonna)
 

An Old Favorite

"Ethel And Albert" Friday, March 23, 1956 by Peg Lynch

Peg Lynch was a prolific writer for radio and television, writing over 11,000 scripts for the sitcoms Ethel and Albert, The Couple Next Door, and The Little Things in Life. Her shows were all about those little things in life; as quoted in her New York Times obituary she wrote because she knew "that people like to find out that other people have some of the same problems they do."

We first came across her work through Mike Sacks' excellent Poking A Dead Frog, which includes the amazing anecdote that Lynch declined multiple invitations to dinner from a big fan of her work, Senator John Kennedy, because she needed to finish writing. 

This particular script is about tax season (timely of us, eh?), and it's a joy to read, full of great sitcom setups and confusions. A routine audit by the taxman Gilbert goes awry and reveals that Ethel has secret businesses that her husband, Albert, had no idea about:

ETHEL:
You need really tart apples for mince meat -- but if you can't get them -- put in a cup of vinegar --

ALBERT:
Darling -- the man doesn't care how to make mince meat!

ETHEL:
He wants the expenses -- and if I use vinegar which I did last time -- that would be about $.10.

GILBERT:
Thank you. How much mince meat did you make in 1954?

ETHEL:
Roughly?

GILBERT:
ANY way.

ETHEL:
About 32 quarts. And I sold it for a $1.02.

GILBERT:
A -- why the two cents?

ETHEL:
Stamps.

GILBERT:
Stamps. (TO ALBERT) Been wondering for years why I didn't like mince meat -- it's got stamps in it.
 

Updates From Your Hosts and Friends of the Show

Your humble newsletter-ers had a fun week preparing for and then recovering from our monthly show at le Poisson Rouge. It was a blast! Thanks to Friends of the Show Jen Spyra, Seth Reiss, and Riane Konc for the great work they shared, thanks to le Poisson Rouge for putting us up, and thanks to everyone who came out and said hi! Especially considering that so many of you ended up standing. Thanks! Your legs are impressively strong. Next time we'll have more tables and chairs.

Did we miss a piece you loved? Did you love a piece we mentioned? Let us know! This is an experiment and we're hoping to continue to make it better and better. If you have any thoughts, notes, wishes, or dreams for this newsletter, please respond to us or this email and tell us what the score is.

See you next week!

@brianagler, @lukevburns, & @jamesfolta