Tips And Tricks For Launching A Comic Book Slate
As I write this letter to you, we are exactly ten years removed from that first week of September, when everything seemed new. This week ten years ago, DC Comics launched the New 52, a publishing initiative that promised to completely rewrite the history of the DC universe, except where it wouldn't, to bring in fresh new talent and ideas to its many storied characters, except where they didn't, and to form a unified front ushering a new era in the comic book business, which they absolutely did not do. In the short term, it was a needed boost for DC Comics' sales that might just have saved them from irrelevance. In the long term, it got people in the shops, and that might have saved the direct market comic book industry altogether. But the truth is that any big enough move would have done it, and DC's move was big enough. It reminded people that comic books exist, and everything else followed from there, including everyone else's attempts at creating that kind of buzz.
Speaking of! Marvel announced a new slate of comics this week, covering the end of 2021 and slightly beyond. If you want the details in full, go check an actual comics news site; god knows they need the clicks. The important part is that I've been at this for a hot minute, and I've seen my fair share of reboots, relaunches, game-changing events and all the like. And so, as part of our ongoing effort to make this newsletter a Velvet-Underground-like influence on the American direct market comic book industry, I will deliver onto you my findings as to what makes the perfect publishing slate. Study it well, because the mark I intend to leave will be indelible.
BIG DUMB EVENT COMIC #1 - (W) A WRITER ON THE RISE AND EAGER TO DROP THE BALL DOING AN EVENT UNDER THE HIGH SCRUTINY OF EDITORIAL (A) ANY BIG NAME ARTIST, NO MATTER HOW DATED, IRRELEVANT, OR OPENLY BIGOTED THEY MIGHT BE, WITH ADDITIONAL NAMES DEPENDING ON HOW DELAY-AVERSE YOU ARE - This one is almost self-explanatory, but it is worth looking at the details. The name of the game, as always, is over-promising and under-delivering. Make it as big as possible, and if you can tangentially tie it to something else your company is doing, in some kind of fucked up vertical integration deal, even better. Promise it's going to change everything. You don't even have to commit; the promise is the point.
BOOK SENT OUT TO DIE #1 - (W) SOMEONE THAT MADE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES OUTSIDE OF BIG TWO COMICS (A) AN ARTIST THAT IS CLEARLY TOO COOL FOR THIS - I know it seems counter-intuitive to have what seems like a pure money-loser in there, but you need to have a book that will not last a full year in there. Firstly because as you know and as I know it's basically the only way you're going to get any queer representation in this sausagefest, whether on the talent side or on the content side. Second: it's going to do gangbusters business in trades, so long as YOU DO NOT IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM, SUPPORT IT. Do not advertise it. Do not give it time to build an audience. The more unrealistic expectations you put on it, the faster you'll be able to cancel it and wash your hands of the whole affair. It's going to work out. Trust me.
GRATUITOUS RELAUNCH: THE RELAUNCHENING #1 - (W) A WRITER THAT WAS DOING JUST FINE BUT WHOSE PLANS ARE GETTING DERAILED BY YOUR NEED FOR A BIG STUNT (A) AN ARTIST OF EQUAL OR LOWER VALUE TO THE ONE THAT WAS WORKING ON THE BOOK BEFORE - Nothing sells more than a first issue. People love 'em! Have you seen how much Action Comics #1 goes for nowadays? That's because people want to get on the ground floor of these things. It's an investment! It's free money! Launch as many #1s as often as you can and you're SET! If I had my druthers every issue would be a #1 but the BEAN COUNTERS tell me it's not practical and it's pretty dishonest. Who cares! If you've got a good thing going, reboot it. REBOOT IT ALL! REBOOT IT NOW!
THE INDULGING EVENT #1 - (W) A WRITER WHO'S BEEN HERE FOR A DECADE PLUS AND WHO'S SPENT THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS RUNNING OUT OF GOODWILL (A) WHOEVER THAT WRITER WANTS, SOMEHOW - Writers are fickle creatures, and sometimes you have to appease their whims by giving them enough rope to hang themselves with. Obviously, this is going to be bad. You can't do what they do for as long as they do it and not hang on to one awful idea involving a couple of their pet characters and concepts directly stolen from comics they read when they were young. But you have to let them do it! You have to let them shit up the shelves with terrible idiot bullshit they've teased for years, otherwise they sign lucrative deals with tech companies of dubious ethics and even more dubious plans!
HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS: AT THIS POINT IT'S EASIER TO IMAGINE THE END OF THE WORLD THAN IT IS TO IMAGINE MARVEL FIRING JOE BENNETT
At the risk of repeating myself, no superhero comic published by the Big Two has been taken care of as well and for as long as Aquaman, from either a creative or an editorial point of view. It's been a consistently great read for ten years now, through the concerted effort of an incredibly talented pool of creators, and also Geoff Johns, and the support provided by incredibly talented editors, who have held down the fort through thick and thin and kept things running at the same level of greatness. That's an achievement in itself, and the bulk of this Aquaman 80th Anniversary 100-page Super Spectacular serves as a very exciting celebration of the past ten years, that kinda glosses over the other 70, but to be honest that's fine with me, especially when you consider what this entails.
There's a lot of swinging for the fences in there, from a story by the can't-miss team of Jeff Parker and Doc Shaner, to Shawn Aldrige and Tom Derenick's silver age throwback. There's a story set in the Bombshells universe with its very Tom of Finland Aquaman that was just lovely, and there's a back-and-forth between Aquaman and Ocean Master in there that used spectacle and first-person narration in really really smart ways. Even Steve Epting and Dan Jurgens come back to revisit their Aquaman run from the 1990s and deliver what I assume is a pretty nifty coda.
As fun as these stories are, the most impressive stuff in the book appears at the tail end, in two stories teasing out upcoming releases. Chuck Brown and Valentine De Landro deploy effortless cool setting up their Black Manta miniseries, which begins next week, in a short action setpiece loaded with graceful violence, big monsters and an ever-tasteful slice of anti-heroism that is more fun than it has any right to be. On the other side of the hero/villain spectrum, Diego Orlotegui and Brandon Thomas deliver a charming little character piece ahead of Aquaman: The Becoming, in which Jackson Hyde and Andy Curry, the Aquaman and Aqualass of Future State, get into trouble in the way only a sidekick trying to figure out where they stand and a fun-loving little toddler can. It's funny, it's expressive, and it ends with the WILDEST final line you'll read all year. I loved it, but then, as it turns out, I love Aquaman! So who the hell knows anymore?
I'm not sure that I can talk eloquently about New Mutants #21, because, in spite of all of the action, it's the kind of X-Men comic that's all about litigating continuity issues that played out across years of comics, and which all require their own wiki page to ever understand. It's impenetrable and insider-y like few X-Men comics ever are. I'm not going to recommend it to anyone, but I fucking loved it, because I'm extremely invested in these kinds of arguments, especially when they involve my BOY, MY SON, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE CHILD EVAN "GENESIS" SABAHNUR, and the possibility that some day he might be returned to me. Look it's as gorgeous as any other Rod Reis issue of the series, Vita Ayala has a good handle on the characters or whatever the point is JUSTICE FOR MY LITTLE BOY, MY PRECIOUS LITTLE BOY, A BEAUTIFUL CHILD I HAVE SEEN GROW FROM THE END OF UNCANNY X-FORCE VOLUME ONE TO THE MANY INDIGNITIES VISITED UPON HIM IN TERRIBLE BOOKS LIKE AXIS AND AGE OF X-MAN. I NEED JUSTICE FOR MY BOY, JUST LET HIM GROW STRONG AND HEALTHY IN THE WAY I KNOW HE CAN. JUSTICE FOR MY BOYYYYY.
Okay if I'm getting this sentimental, it's gotta be a sign that we're done for the week. The schedule is still fucked! I don't think it's going to get any better! That's just the way it is in our pandemic hell! In the mean time, stay alive, take care, subscribe to the newsletter, tell your friends to subscribe, and of course HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS!