So You've Written A Hateful Comic
Has this ever happened to you? You write a completely hateful comic, something as completely on-its-face awful as “A 14-year old Asian girl who’s irrepressibly attracted to Spider-Man because of pheromones”, or “Franklin Richards pretending to be a member of an historically oppressed minority group because he wants to feel special”, or “pressing a computer button to make Rhodey’s post-traumatic stress disorder go away, because as it turns out that was just a computer glitch”. (Obviously I’m making these examples up, no one could write even one of those and still have a job in the comic book industry, much less all three of them). How would you deal with the inevitable and completely justified backlash? What is there to do when searching your own name on twitter all day instead of respecting your contributors and finishing your scripts on time only leads to sadness and grief? That is where I come in.
You see, over the course of doing this newsletter, I have chronicled the ever-changing shape of the comic book industry, and in the process, became a genuine certified Comic Book Industry Mover-slash-Shaker. I can help you navigate these waters, and I can help you keep most of your dignity intact. It’s a simple, 5 steps program, and it may just help you save your career. It’s a method I have developed through careful observation of comic book industry professionals, and I’m making it available to you at no additional charge. You’re welcome.
STEP ONE: DO NOT APOLOGIZE
Now, when someone tells you that you have hurt them in some way, your immediate urge might be to apologize, because obviously you have not chosen to be in this business to hurt people. Not only would that be a terrible mistake, it would actually be an insult to the hallowed history of American Comic Books. See, hurting people has always been a savvy marketing tactic, going as far back as the newsstand era. Loudly upsetting your readership is as old as the cliffhanger, and it’s kept just as many readers coming back to see if this is all for something or if it’s just something you do on the way to your story about Johnny Storm cucking Doctor Doom. You have nothing to apologize for, so do not under any circumstance apologize.
STEP TWO: KEEP POSTING THROUGH IT, AND DO NOT APOLOGIZE
Congratulations: your total lack of apology has gotten people talking about the book EVEN MORE! It’s only gonna get louder from now on, so long as you keep the momentum up. Keep escalating, go to the DMs if you can, jump in the mentions of everyone that even dared mention your name, and defend your honor. Your track record speaks for itself. Surely if you were a total liability, a guy that’s barely tolerated and blatantly unprofessional, if the sales on your books started low and kept dwindling, to the point where you had to be backed up by an actually popular writer on that latest comic book event you did to boost the sales of your “dream project” in between desperate stunts for attention, they would have to fire you! They wouldn’t keep your mediocre ass around out of sheer inertia, right? So KEEP. POSTING.
STEP THREE: THINK YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE NOW? THINK AGAIN, AND DO NOT APOLOGIZE
This is the hardest step to negotiate. At this point, the urge to apologize is almost irresistible. But whatever you do, you must resist it, just a little more, and you will be through with your comics superstardom unscathed. This is where you pull out the big guns: talk about how you’re saving the industry, actually, you’re just a man trying his best, you have always been an ally when the chips were down and so this kind of circular firing squad is counter-productive at best and self-destructive at worst. No holds barred! Give it one last good push, and get so annoying people have no option BUT to leave you alone. You’re past the worst of it, it gets easier from here on in.
STEP FOUR: MOVE ON (AND DON’T FORGET TO NOT APOLOGIZE)
You’ve done it! Enjoy the fruits of your hard labor and return to posting whatever inane opinion you post when people aren’t looking. Sure, your name is still associated to something completely hateful, and that might pop up in your daily namesearch, but it’s back to manageable levels. Block the offending accounts, enjoy your day, don’t worry about Twitter, or your deadlines, or the declining quality of your work over the years.
STEP FIVE: APOLOGIZE
Now, at some point it will become morally untenable to not apologize for this completely awful and hateful comic that you have actually written. And then, a couple of years will pass. And maybe some day, you’ll start feeling bad about that terrible comic you wrote six years ago. If you feel it’s completely inevitable, then, and only then, you may apologize. But be sure to keep it entirely self-serving. It has to be about you, and all the things that you have learned on your way to basic human decency. Bask in the glory of a job well done, and keep being your terrible self. You’ve more than earned it, DAN SLOTT.
HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS: I’LL APOLOGIZE TO DAN WHEN HE APOLOGIZES FOR IRON MAN 2020 AND NOT A MOMENT BEFORE
For an idea that began 15 years ago, in the pages of Grant Morrison’s meta-epic Seven Soldiers, there’s surprisingly little material about Shilo Norman as the new Mister Miracle. Beside the occasional appearance during a mega-event, he was seen as the main star of his own book in all of 5 issues. Four of them are the aforementioned Ferry, Morrison and Williams miniseries, and the fifth is a 2017 one-shot made in celebration of Jack Kirby’s 100th birthday by Ryan Benjamin, Denys Cowan and Reginald Hudlin. At long last, we have a new story to add. It’s called Mister Miracle: The Source of Freedom #1, it is made by Brandon Easton and Fico Ossio, and it’s following up on the backups Easton wrote during Future State.
Right from the get-go, it feels of a piece with that earlier mini, juxtaposing as it does the spectacle of daring impossible escapes with the struggles of a life in show-business. The difference is that Easton’s script brings the authenticity of lived experience to the proceedings. Where Morrison re-imagined Kirby’s death traps through the prism of Black American culture as seen through the eyes of White Scotland, Easton tells a story where the expectations put on Shilo’s identity by the white-dominated history and society become a prison of their own, which is very resonant and incredibly relevant for today.
That’s essential, but it’s not all there is to it. Because on top of all that is of course the grand saga of the New Gods, which does come back with a vengeance by the end of this first issue. All this visual spectacle is handled in incredibly stylish fashion by Fico Ossio, who just makes everything look cool as hell. It’s confident, it’s emotional, but when stuff blows up, boy does it blow up great. It’s as comfortable on a pair of flying discs as it is with a pair of Jordans, and to see a book get it this right this much is as engrossing as it is refreshing. Go and get it!
I was disappointed in The Other History of the DC Universe #4, but, by all means, do not let that convince you that this is not one of the best comics to be published in 2021. It’s an incredibly potent combination of first-person prose and beautiful illustration work, combined with careful lettering and design from the team of Andrea Cucchi, Giuseppe Camuncoli, John Ridley and Steve Wands, re-examining comics history by putting it in conversation with real-world history, and going through it with the point of view of characters from marginalized identities. It’s incredible, necessary work, that arrives at a greater truth through unflinching clarity. It’s an achievement, and whatever feelings I have about this latest issue should not take away from it.
That said, the fourth issue is centered around one of my favorite characters of all time (Renee Montoya), it chronicles a period of time during which I was alive (1992 to 2007), and the ground it covers includes some of the finest stories DC Comics have ever published. (No Man’s Land, Gotham Central, and 52, among others.) I want to believe that this is what created these expectations in my head that the issue could not match. But there are other problems there, that I do not think are just from me. First and most important: I don’t think it makes a good enough case that the historical events it chooses to cover are integral to Renee’s story, especially since they’re confined to one page each. I understand why it would be essential to talk about the 1992 Los Angeles riots, especially as it pertains to America’s history of policing; September 11 is the defining event of my lifetime; and yet, those end up counting for very little, as there’s not enough there to create a context.
Second: It feels really unfocused, it jumps from topic to topic, touching on the history of Gotham, the bat, and the cops of the GCPD Major Crimes Unit in very quick succession, and in a way that doesn’t really create the sense of a single coherent history of Renee Montoya. It’s loose and disjointed, until the point where it isn’t and the history of comics provides a clear chain from one event to the next. The problem is, that point arrives pretty late, leaving about three or four pages to cover Renee’s transformation into The Question. That’s a bummer for me, maybe it’s one for you, either way, the series still rules.
Finally, you might have been expecting me to drop a take on Strange Adventures #10, because this is the issue with the big reveal, and that puts the events of the whole series into perspective. I’m not gonna! I don’t want to spoil it! It’s that good! Gerads, King, and Shaner operate with enough talent and clarity that the base imagery of the issue kinda speaks for itself, such that you don’t need my yapping! It’s very good! I loved it! There! Done!
And that’s that! Look, I’m already past my arbitrary deadline, and that’s a bad look when I make fun of Dan Slott that much and that hard! So thanks for reading! Tell your friends about what I do! Be good to people! HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS!