It's A Very Irreverent, Very Random, South Park Kind Of Comics Distributor
We've spent a significant chunk of the past nine months talking about the drastic changes the direct market comic book industry was going through, trying to speculate as to what it would all mean, and, on October 1st, the rubber started meeting the road, as Penguin Random House took over the distribution of all of Marvel Comics' direct market offerings. In previous installments of this newsletter, I predicted that PRH, one of the largest book distributors in the world, would provide a smooth transition into an era of big business professionalism, button down on some of Diamond's biggest problems, and bring happiness to one and all, customers and retailers alike.
The first Wednesday of this new era has come and gone, and based on the available feedback, the results are pretty clear: boy oh boy, I fucking biffed it. There's no other way to put it, I made my big boy industry analyst predictions, I put on the big boy industry analyst hat, and here's me now, face down in the mud, having to admit that things are as biffed as biffed can be. There's reoccurring elements in the many horror stories retailers are sharing to the press at the moment; missing shipments and damaged issues are in every headline. But some of those incidents are more baffling still, and I think they are worth telling in full.
Jeffy Pemberton, of Cosmic Pit Stop Comics And Cards, in Bakersfield, California, reports that his Marvel shipment arrived "strangely wet and cold, like it had been sitting in the snow for a while." He estimates that 20 to 25% of what he received could not be sold in any form because of the damage. He also says the box had "odd puncture marks, like birds attacked it, and I don't know how this could have happened, the courier gave me the comics straight from the truck."
Kelly Garfield-Smith, of Wow Ok Comics in Seattle WA, says that a small but admittedly very pretty pebble was packed in her Marvel order, and that it tore through at least half of what was in the box. She reports that other stores in the Pacific Northwest area also had pretty rocks in their shipping, bringing her to wonder in her local retailer group on Facebook why a book distribution platform would put so much value into giving out small rocks to retail partners.
The official page of Near The Bay Comics in Baltimore announced that new Marvel releases would be postponed for the week, as all they received was a wet cardboard box filled with loose squid and krill. "No, we don't know how it happened either, these are not things you'd usually find in the Chesapeake, more likely it's from Antarctica, which does not make sense to any of us, but here we are."
So, what exactly happened? I'm not sure. Can Penguin Random House fix it? Look, I really thought they were going to get it right on week one, so I'm not the best person to ask. Is the idea of little penguins in a big warehouse, running around like idiots, chasing boxes on conveyor belts and doing all their penguin stuff as funny to you as it is in my head? You tell me.
HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS: ENGAGING IN FLIGHTS OF WHIMSY TO ESCAPE THIS WEEK'S TOM KING DISCOURSE
For at least ten years now, The Amazing Spider-Man has been a bad comic. It was bad under Dan Slott, when the book constantly over-promised and under-delivered; it was all big game-changing stunts, one after the other, consistency of the characters be damned. His original ideas weren't too hot either, and when you consider the fact that he has only apologized for Silk THIS YEAR, it might actually be worse than you remember. (And that's not even going into the very obvious stalling for time of the latter years, when all that mattered to Dan was the arbitrary notion of having the longest continuous run on a Spider-Man book, WHICH HE FAILED AT BY THE WAY) It was bad under Nick Spencer, obviously, because nothing good could ever come from three years of retreads and re-litigations of stories that were best forgotten like Sins Past, and because the one thing people might want from such an endeavor, a full rewrite of One More Day, would require Marvel Editorial to admit any kind of fault, so it's never going to happen.
Before getting to the matter at hand, it's worth taking a moment to recoil at this. For ten years, one of the flagship books of the biggest publisher in direct market comics, starring the greatest character in American Comics History, completely sucked on ice. That's something that cannot be fixed by one single issue alone, no matter how much talent you put behind it, and no matter how many extra pages you give it. (By the way: none of Marvel's oversized $5.99 debut issues have done it for me, and if I can ask for one thing in 2022 it is for a moratorium on a bloated storytelling format that has never featured anything worthwhile, just a lot of filler that I would trade away in an instant for my money back)
Knowing all that, and after adjusting my expectations accordingly, I still wish that the brain trust assembled for this and the next eighteen issues of Beyond had tried, just a little. The Amazing Spider-Man #75 is not a bad comic by any means. Zeb Wells is an incredibly skilled writer, delivering the essentials of a Spider-Man story (the humor, the action, the relatable problems beneath the unbelievable circumstances, that are at the heart of the character's appeal) with great agility, and Patrick Gleason is his usual excellent self, turning the theme of mirrors and reflections present in the issue and running with them through great visual ideas and even cooler layout tricks -take notice of the symmetry as Peter Parker and Ben Reilly check in with their respective loved ones to see what I mean.
It's a good comic, but it's not a great comic. I have two problems with it. The first one: despite promising a whole new era of Spider-Man stories, it's so beholden to past Spider-Man comics that it can't commit to a clean break. Continuity is important, but this is a comic with baggage, that is mostly uninterested in introductions. It wants to be a smooth transition, when the last thing I wanted it to do was remind me that Dan Slott and Nick Spencer had been there. The second problem: it doesn't have a big flashy statement. Yes, Ben Reilly is back. Yes, there's a shocking cliffhanger at the end. But there is nothing in the middle acting as a thesis statement for what the Beyond Brain Trust want this comic to be, in either the long or the short run.
If you want me to commit to this for eighteen weeks, you need to show me something more than promises, and the two back-up stories at the end of the issue do nothing to help. All they tell you is that some characters are going to play a part in the coming issues, in which some events will take place. There is nothing in there that would have me coming back beyond the knowledge that the creative team they have lined up is capable of delivering some great comics. It should feel essential, but it doesn't. I don't know that "just being good" can cut it at this point in time, with so many comics that are worth paying attention to.
Maybe I'm being too harsh. I'm not sure. And maybe me not being sure is the most damning thing I could say about this comic.
Ah well! That's a bummer! You know what's not a bummer? Getting this newsletter to you every week! You know how you can help? Subscribe! Tell your friends! Have them subscribe! I love you, I love this, and until I see you this time next week, don't forget to HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS!