Exercises In Takes (or: "Imagine Four Takes On The Edge Of A Cliff")
National Coming Out Day happened this week, and in a spirit of honesty, I will tell you two facts about me. The first: I am somewhat invested in Jon Kent as a character. I liked Gleason and Tomasi's Superman run until it became uncool to do so, and I will defend the Bendis-Sook-et al. Legion of Super Heroes stuff until they drag me away kicking and screaming. The second: I am fully invested in being bisexual. That's just how it is, and I do not have the will or the means to explain it, so please don't ask. I am telling you these facts so you can understand why the announcement that the current Superman of DC Comics would come out as bisexual in Superman: Son of Kal-El #5, releasing this November, would leave me a confused mess of conflicting emotions that need to get sorted out. Having chosen the trade of slinging opinions on a periodical basis via newsletter, I thought I could put it all in a single definitive take. Turns out, I can't. I do not have a single take on this announcement. I have four, and here they are.
THE CYNICAL TAKE
So, here we are once again. Our identities sold back to us in a convenient feel-good headline that doesn't really do anything but paper over a complete lack of any worthwhile action. Of course it's a Tom Taylor comic, the man has specialized in that kind of empty calorie meaningless gesture type of storytelling, so inconsequential that it dissolves on contact, ensuring safe commodification of our struggles. It's laced with hypocrisies of every type, and they're worth discussing. This is a gesture at queer inclusiveness from the company that balked at publishing a genuinely queer work like SFSX because a moral panic centered around Batman's dick. This is a feel-good affirmation of queerness on which Gabe Eltaeb, a genuinely bigoted man, has worked on. This is a comic that claims to be on our side of struggles, depicting Superman leading a march against climate change on the cover of January's #7, published by a company that is on the other hand all too gleefully pushing an intensely wasteful NFT scam which is killing our planet one overworked computer at a time. I hate it with every fiber of my being and so should you.
THE GENUINELY HOPEFUL TAKE
My Superman is bisexual. That's the long and the short of it. My Superman is bisexual, out and proud, and there's nothing the world can do about it. There will be backlash, as loud and as homophobic as the loud homophobes can muster, and it's just noise. If you think, as I do, that superhero comics are a manifestation of our deep-seated aspirations, Superman is a young bisexual radical putting himself forward as a champion of social change, challenging the world and its institutions to do better in the face of the most challenging issues of our day. This is a Superman that rescues refugees and fights for their rights, even if it means standing up to the police. This is a Superman that will always stand for the right thing, for empathy and understanding, even in the face of the Army. This is the champion of a better world, and his better world has people exactly as bisexual as me in it. To me, that's worth something.
THE TODD MCFARLANE INTRO FOR THE SPAWN HBO SHOW TAKE
What's the difference between who we are, and who we say we are? Are our bad decisions just as much a part of who we are as the good, or are they just a product of circumstance? Me, I like to think it's the former. Like you or I, Spawn is full of shades of grey, of regrets, and darker thoughts. He wants to do the right thing, but what does that look like when Malebolgia and all of Hell's worst demons are on your trail, ready to pounce at a moment's notice? Who is Spawn? And who's Al Simmons? Does he even know? Because I do. I'm Todd McFarlane, I created Spawn. Tonight's episode asks many questions about Spawn, but perhaps it asks even more questions about you, so when it's done, just turn your TV off and think on it for a while. And now, Spawn.
THE HORNY TAKE
fuck me have you seen that Travis Moore variant for issue #5 though????? fuck man, I want that in my LIFE, I YEARN for that shit are you kidding me? I need these hot boys, I CRAVE these hot boys, GIVE ME THE HOT BOYS DC COMICS, I'VE EARNED THE HOT BOYS
So, you know. It's a mix of all four. Just mix and match. You'll get it.
HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS: MORE CRITIC PER CRITIC
For the final issue a series so heavily steeped in death, war, loss, war crimes, and the lies at the heart of Empire, I didn't expect Strange Adventures #12 to be such a feel-good, uplifting, kind of story. Do not get me wrong: no one gets redeemed, and nothing about the predicament Earth and our heroes found themselves in gets to have a neat and tidy conclusion. Still, it is about the restoration of truth, and in a series that twice over has been about the self-serving lies of Adam Strange, this will do plenty. No, Adam Strange was not the glorious hero, thrust into a faraway world of adventure, bringing peace and prosperity to a grateful native population. He also wasn't the once-good man pushed too far, forced into a war he did not fully understand, having to do whatever it takes for him and his family to survive, no matter how ugly or criminal. He was, as this last issue puts it, a man of Empire, and he was willing to kill so that his lies may survive. That was our inciting incident, and in naming things, in finally understanding them, we can close this circle.
But obviously, there's more to this final offering than things clearly stated. There is emotional catharsis, every little moment of it drawn with considerable talent by Mitch Gerads and Doc Shaner. It's a comic full of heartbreak and heartache; in between, there are glimpses of what Strange Adventures could have been, a straightforward Silver Age science adventure throwback, and of what it could yet be, an action book of a different stripe, the exact circumstances of which I will not spoil, because this is a book I really really want you to read. Like the recently finished Rorschach before it, this is a book about life in a post-truth world; ultimately, it thinks that, in spite of everything, the truth will win out. That's a pretty nice thought. That feels pretty good.
We're all more or less aware of the fact that the modern Batman villain, this extremely otherized figure that turns their weirdly specific pathology into garish displays of graphic violence, is a fucked-up little cultural artifact we inherited from The Silence of the Lambs, which itself traces its history back to the debunked pop science of criminal profiling, itself just an outcropping of our societies' failure to treat the mentally ill with humanity and decency. The interesting thing about Arkham City: The Order of the World #1 is that the very first thing it does is acknowledge that failure, and the people caught in that failure, and it treats them with an empathy that is seldom seen elsewhere. It is still at its heart a pulp horror thriller, one set smack dab in the middle of ongoing events across the Batman line of comics, but in making sure all its characters, even the most alien to our way of thinking, have agency and motivations, it sets itself apart and asks interesting questions of Arkham Asylum as a premise.
The other interesting thing about Arkham City: The Order of the World #1 is that it looks good as hell. It's a noir affair with a touch of the gothic, heavy on the shadows and the deep blacks, the sharp contrasts highlighted by Dave Stewart's absolutely brilliant flat colors. It feels at once very sketchy, where you can see the hands of the artists in every moment, and yet, it has a remarkable clarity, which allows it to twist its perspective and unsettle in very cool ways. It's a brilliant book. It looks like a throwback to late 80s Vertigo, but its outlook on the subject matters it deals with is definitely modern. If you're at all interested in Batman, or if you're into great horror comics, it's very much a "run, don't walk" situation.
Wow! This is late! Almost like a whole bunch of stuff derailed it! But I still pulled through! Because I love you! Because I love this! Tell your friends about this! Engage! Subscribe! Make sure Gmail lets the e-mails go through! Double check! And then, and only then, you can spend the rest of your day in the quiet satisfaction that only comes once you HUMBLE YOURSELF BEFORE COMICS!