Hollywood Hotline - Week of September 26, 2024
HOLLYWOOD HOTLINE Archives
Howdy Hotliners!
Circa 1994-95, I was in 7th-8th grade in Santa Cruz, California, surfing and boogie boarding my balls off, listening to whatever music Scott Johnson’s dad was listening to, as he was the one driving us to and from East Cliff and Sunny Cove, in his Chevy pickup truck, playing audio cassette albums. So, I listened to the American Ska/Punk band, Sublime, A LOT, on those daily/weekend commutes. I learned what Date Rape was from their song, Date Rape. Scott’s dad didn’t even have to explain it to us. Crazy, right!?
TOP STORY:
Sublime Getting the Musical Biopic Treatment
Because why not? Everyone out here chasing that BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (2018) Oscar-gold. I can only imagine what Scott’s dad thinks of this movie getting made? He’d probably be interested? Scott’s dad was a movie buff to be sure. He had his own collection of store-bought, studio-released, VHSes, and subscribed to HBO. It was at Scott’s dad’s house where I first saw 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968) (on HBO), and BOYZ N THE HOOD (1991) (on VHS).
But I’m not that interested in this getting made. How can I be when I couldn’t bring myself to see BOB MARLEY: ONE LOVE (2024)?
Without further ado, let’s check the Hotline:
FUTURE FILMS:
“HELL NO WE WON’T GO! UNLESS WE CAN STEAL ART YO!”
Four Bones Filmmaker, Kelly Reichardt, has cast hot doofus Josh O’Connor (CHALLENGERS 2024) in her next film, THE MASTERMIND, which is about “an audacious art heist amidst the backdrop of the Vietnam War.”
Sign me up for art heist duty, ma’am! While I still haven’t seen her past three features, and didn’t love NIGHT MOVES (2013), MEEK’S CUTOFF (2010) and WENDY AND LUCY (2008) are Four Bones for me.
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Also Rocks Your Husband’s C.
Maika Monroe (LONGLEGS 2024) is taking over the Rebecca De Mornay role from the 1992 film, which was about a nanny who is not who she says she is.
This straight trash should go straight to streaming. How is Paramount+ not involved!?
“Look up there! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Supergirl’s Hunky Beefcake Archnemesis!”
Belgian actor, Matthias Schoenaerts (THE DANISH GIRL 2015) is Supergirl’s Hunky Beefcake Archnemesis, “Krem of the Yellow Hill, who kills the young alien girl’s father.”
Craig Gillespie (CRUELLA 2021) is directing. “Milly Alcock (HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 2022-) won the title role after an extensive search. She’s also appearing in another DC project before making her big-screen debut as the Angel of the Sky.”
Didn’t even know there was a SUPERGIRL movie in development but of course there is! The good news is: it will automatically be better than the original because the original did NOT have a Hunky Beefcake Archnemesis!
Chris Hemsworth and Sam Rockwell Kick Each Other in the STUNTNUTS
After reading the above press release, I’m still not exactly sure what this film is about? Feels like ChatGPT wrote it? A series of four films about stuntmen? Like JACKASS (2002) meets THE FALL GUY (2024)?
Your guess is as good as mine.
TRENDY TV:
“Think it over, [TV Executive] Creep!”
Amazon MGM Studios is making a ROBOCOP (1987) TV series with producer James Wan (SAW 2004), along with Peter Ocko (WEIRD SCIENCE TV show 1994-1996).
You just know they’re gonna botch it and it’s gonna suck. No one can touch the statue of Paul Verhoeven’s feet!
Robert Rodriguez (DESPERADO 1995) is back to make the wrong things right. He’s starting by gender-swapping Zorro from man to woman. “In this contemporary take, a young Latinx woman discovers that her long-deceased father was the legendary hero Zorro. She takes on his masked persona to defend the desperate citizens of her Austin, Texas community from the wealthy forces seeking to exploit them.”
Sounds like a solid updating. For tweens.
TANGY THEATER:
“To jam, or not to jam? That is the question.”
Radiohead’s “Hail to the Thief” (2003) album will be used as score for William Shakespeare’s Hamlet adaptation. 2+2=5, or in this case, sweet sweet royalty rights.
COMING SOON:
SINNERS - MISSISSIPPI BURNING (1988) meets FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1996)
ROMOURS - You always know it’s British when they have a “U” in the title
A REAL PAIN - Actor/Director Jesse Eisenberg is an “Actor’s Director”
MARIA - Angelina Jolie’s eyeglasses will win her an Oscar nom
BALLERINA - Ana De Armas is the new John Wick
DISCLAIMER* - Looks hilarious!
Until next week, Hotliners! Thanks for calling in.
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