Hollywood Hotline - Week of June 6, 2024
HOLLYWOOD HOTLINE Archives
Howdy Hotliners,
It’s come to my attention that I was referring to my subscriber(s) as “Hollyweirdos” when my newsletter, is in fact, not called “Hollywood Weirdline.” So wished to revise my esteemed intimate nickname for you all with something more apt, accurate and appropriate. Hope you like it!
Also, someone inquired what the hotline was exactly and I gave some half-assed response that the internet is like a red telephone (remember those?) and the Hollywood stories/links are like the telephone calls that come in or answering machine messages I pick up and check out?
Lastly, thank you so much for subscribing, and for those of you who personally reached out to me with their loving support. Truly means the world to me.
Without further ado, let’s check the hotline:
Charlie Human, I mean Hunnam, is a CRIMINAL!
I love writer and graphic novelist, Ed Brubaker’s work. Charlie Human, not so much. Also not the biggest fan of co-directors Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck (HALF NELSON 2006, CAPTAIN MARVEL 2019) but we’ll see I guess. Should be a cool Amazon MGM Studios series.
I HAVE THE [IP] POWWWWWWWWER!”
Amazon MGM Studios is rebooting MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE with a young man who looks NOTHING LIKE the toy I grew up playing with. I’m sure it’ll be fine. At the very minimum it can’t be as bad as the Cannon Films adaptation (1987), which was one of two movies (the other being SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE, also 1987) that bankrupted Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. Speaking of which, I just found these two amazing documentaries on Menahem Golan, which I highly encourage any movie historian/film buff to check out:
GOLAN: A FAREWELL TO MR. CINEMA (2015)
AMERICAN GLADIATORS is back on top of the jousting platform!
As a middle-aged Xennial, I grew up watching the original series (1989-1996) which I know is cheesy AF, but after recently watching the Netflix documentary on AG, I am very excited to see them revive this show. Someone should do a MAD MAX version. Like Demolition Derby meets American Gladiators. You could even build a replica Citadel outside Vegas or something. Get AI hologram of young less crazy Mel Gibson to host it.
The King of Pop Gonna Rock Lionsgate Ranch
“When we saw LEAVING NEVERLAND (2019) we just said, we have to put everything we have into our biopic on him now. We gotta go all in. All the way. Not just the tip. We have to make it the biggest movie this studio’s ever produced and distributed in its 27-year history!" Jim Packer, president of worldwide TV distribution, told an investor conference. JK. JK. I made that press quote up. Or did I? BTW: FINDING NEVERLAND (2004) and LEAVING NEVERLAND (2019) would make for one unseemly uncomfortable double-bill.
NEON DEMON vs. PREDATOR in BADLANDS
Plotline is being kept under wraps, but the movie gotta take place in the Badlands of America, right? Where are the Badlands again? [checks notes]: South Dakota. Hmmm. . . wonder what time period the movie will take place? 1800s American West? 1900s forest park ranger? PREY (2022) took place in 1700s in similar geographic area as Badlands.
Pat Sajak: “But what I really want to do is direct!”
Imagine being an iconic TV game show host for 40+ years, when all you’ve really wanted to do and have been pining for the entire time and daydreaming about is to become a small-time actor and do some dinner theater. Sounds like Pure Special Torture. My God. How did Sajak not ever randomly explode screaming at the top of his lungs like Justice Smith at the end of I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024)?
For all my Doom-and-Gloomers who thought they’d get away with no panic doom and gloom articles for the week, I just wanted to squeeze this one in there for ya! Enjoy the soggy wetness of this sad bite!
COMING SOON:
ALIEN: ROMULUS - Christopher Walken as Bruce Dickinson: “I’ll be honest, fellas, it was sounding great. But. . .I could’ve used a little squish squish clomp clomp. So. . . let’s take it again. I gotta have more squish squish clomp clomp, baby! Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription. . . is squish squish clomp clomp!
Until next week, Hotliners! Thanks for calling in.
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