Hollywood Hotline - Week of June 13, 2024
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Howdy Hotliners,
Summer is just around the corner (June 20 - Sept. 22), if not already here. And the summer movie season is slow. Not a whole lot going on besides BAD BOYS 4 LIFE making some box office ca$h. Guess audiences forgave Will “The Fresh Prince of Slap Live on Air” Smith, two years after he slapped an Oscar presenter on stage for telling a badly dated joke. Imagine if Josh Brolin got up out of his seat and walked up on stage and slapped Diane Lane. Would we still be going to see his movies two years later? Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Without further ado, let’s check the hotline:
Run Zazie Beetz! THEY WILL KILL YOU
Sounds like ROSEMARY’S BABY (1968) except housekeeper instead of baby. ROSEMARY’S HOUSEKEEPER or maybe CASTEVET’S HOUSEKEEPER is more apt? Written by Kirill Sokolov and Alex Litvak, with Sokolov attached to direct. Never heard of them. Produced by the IT (2017) and MAMA (2013) filmmakers, Andy & Barbara Muschietti.
Henry Selick and Neil Gaiman Team Up for Awesomeness!
The two are basically making a stop-motion companion piece/spiritual sequel to CORALINE (2009), which I saw when it came out, in 3D, stoned, at the ArcLight Hollywood in one of the upstairs auditoriums. I was so freaked out and in awe at the same time. Didn’t realize that that experience would be so special and so rare, as I can’t really describe any other experience like it since.
Cooper Hoffman is Gonna Be Taking a LONG WALK for Francis Lawrence
Stephen King’s 1979 Richard Bachman book about kids who have to go on a death march. If they stop walking they get shot. Gotta be a metaphor for capitalism, amirite? Cautiously optimistic about this one as I’ve never read the book but sounds intriguing.
The IP Machine Grinds On with POSSESSION (1981) remake Starring Robert Pattinson
From the writer/director of (sigh), SMILE (2022). Count me out like a dead trout.
Great Quibi’s Ghost, the Katz is BACK, Jack!
You can’t keep a good dog down. Or a billionaire zombie. Combine the two together? And you got yourself a billionaire zombie dog, Jeffrey Katzenberg, who so far has raised $460MM for “companies developing products related to the future of work, consumer technology, cybersecurity, and developer infrastructure.”
OK cool, I guess? But didn’t Katzenberg just lose [checks notes']: $1.6BN in 2020? Yes. Yes, he did. I feel like if a bunch of my friends gave me $100 and I lost it on some quick snack or bit size entertainment meal scam, no one would give me $100 again to try and buy more snacks? /shrugemoji
But this did get me thinking about The Katz, who is infamous for coining the phrase: “If you don’t come in on Saturday don’t bother coming in on Sunday.” I heard that when he started out in the mail room at Paramount in mid-1970s he would show up to industry parties or screenings and literally work the room clockwise shaking every single person’s hand to introduce himself and find out how he could ingratiate himself into their lives to gain leverage. Then when he ran Disney motion pictures and animation (at age 33) he just absolutely CRUSHED IT. Achieved an insane level of success. Found this great short doc by YouTuber Channel Serfer about the label Katz launched and ran at Disney, Touchstone Pictures.
The Film Academy Museum Has Been a Disaster since Day One
Man, how hard is it to build a gigantic building and fill it with factual information and industry knowledge with film artifacts and story art, in rough chronological order, spanning, oh let’s say, 100 Years? PULP FICTION producer, Lawrence Bender had some choice words about it too.
I’ve been to the Film Academy museum and to its David Geffen Death Star Sphere theater. Both are designed poorly. First off, the museum is all escalators and corridors. Feels more like an airport than museum. All the galleries are too small and crowded. It’s so poorly curated it’s embarrassing. And the theater seats inside the Geffen Globe hurts your back and legs and neck! You can’t get comfortable during BARRY LYNDON’s (1975) 3hr5min runtime!
Sony Pictures Entertainment buys The Alamo Drafthouse
Yay capitalism, I guess?
A free resource for filmmakers figuring out how to sell their film from Seed&Spark, which is a crowdsourced film & TV studio where creators can build audiences through crowdfunding and audiences can watch movies & shows through on-demand streaming. It was also developed in collaboration with indie-film distributor and exhibition platform, Kinema.
LA Times is like Michael Myers with this shit
If anyone wants me I’ll be applying to work at the LA Times so I can stop them from writing the same story ten different ways.
I Want More, Give Me More Doom-and-Gloom LA Times!
OK. So pretty sure ChatGPT is just cranking this out to keep me/us engaged. I’ve been had. So sorry to lead you all astray. I am no longer posting LA Times Doom-and-Gloom AI articles!
COMING SOON:
THE INSTIGATORS - How do you cast Matt Damon and Casey Affleck in a movie and not make it an OCEAN’S ELEVEN (2001) sequel or spin-off? OCEAN’S TWO?
Until next week, Hotliners! Thanks for calling in.
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