[HD-4] Wonder about becoming a linden tree
Oh reader, indulge me - the days have been long! And by long I mean boring, and by boring I mean technical, and by technical I mean complete and utter bull— anyways. Bernard Soubry here, as ever, bringing you the fourth email of Hofgarten Days. A little rundown of what's running us down.
Yesterday:
7:00 Wake up. Attempt some yoga. Get distracted by maple tree outside window. Get distracted by flute practice. Admit to self that concentration’s not quite there. Resolve to drink tea.
9:00 Cycle to venue along the Rhine, having tucked some eggs and fruit from the hotel buffet into a container. Think about how much I like Bromptons. German couple outside hotel says something about Bromptons in German. Panic. Haltingly reply, “Ganz schnell!” Resolve to do some Duolingo sometime.
10:00 First session: mitigation work programme. Trying to come up with yet another way to reduce emissions faster, which apparently can’t be done without the co-facilitators coming up with some text for everyone to argue over.
11:00 Second session: IPCC event about the third Working Group’s report on mitigation. They show a ten-minute video that is mostly drone shots of farms and overdubs. There should be a five-year ban on drone shots of farms. When it’s done, Hoesung Lee, Chair of the IPCC, opens the floor up for questions to the scientists who have spent the past eight years working on this report. India starts with “this is not so much a question as a comment, but…” Urgh.
13:00 Lunch is a strange tart with soggy-bottomed pastry combining olives, carrots, peas, aubergine. Weird as it sounds, but eaten regardless while writing up the morning’s notes and editing them early so we don’t have to stay til 22:00 again tonight.
14:34 Brain breaks. Go outside and sit under large linden tree for a while, thinking of nothing, listening to rain tap-tap on the linden tree leaves. Wonder about being a linden tree.
14:55 Run into a Latin American delegate, ask for the charla. Apparently the COP Presidency meeting this morning was almost all men. Scandal. File that away for later.
15:00 Third session: Koronivia Joint Work on Agriculture. No one has anything new here; they’ve all been working informally to come up with text so that no one has to argue in public. Leave as soon as that’s clear and go to--
15:10 Fourth session: Gender and Climate Change. “We need more money for this,” developing countries say. “We don’t talk about money in this room,” developed countries say, sounding very Presbyterian.
16:00 Glasgow Dialogue on Loss and Damage. What is obviously the main issue for this conference has suddenly gotten incredibly boring—bland facilitation, no one putting anything new forward. Developing countries want a separate facility for loss and damage financing; they say nothing has worked so far. “We don’t talk about money in this room,” developed countries say. “Besides, we already give you money.”
Realize that what is likely happening is a smokescreen, and that no one who has any power is talking here; they’re all in bilateral meetings, trading off other bits for an inch of what they really want. Diplomacy happens in secret, which makes it very difficult to write about. Struggle with feelings about this.
17:30 Writing up time. Also write up a webpage text, a little In The Corridors piece, the update line we send out in our newsletters. Sneak into the Aotearoa/New Zealand delegation office to steal hot water from their coffee machine. Make tea. NZ is having a Pacific party later; I’m invited because Vancouver is “basically in the Pacific”. Don’t tell them I’m not from Vancouver.
20:00 Have now written everything up, eaten a dim sum dinner, stolen four glasses of wine from NZ (one for me, three for team morale), taken a break to introduce the team to Iceland’s old Eurovision entry, and waited to hear back from the team leader about final edits for the daily report.
20:30 Webpage is up. Review webpage for mistakes. Find several. Oops.
21:00 Done. Home. It’s raining outside but the Rhine is nice and peaceful, and you can see glints of sunset from the glass buildings on the other bank. Arrive at hotel. Consider Yoga with Adriene, feeling embarrassed that the past 13 years haven’t taught me to do some sort of bedtime routine. Find what feels good anyways.
22:00 Blessed sleep.
Organizationally yours,
B