Archive • Hofgarten Days • Buttondown

[HD-11] Still pumped

Are you pumped, dear reader? Get it. Send that newsletter. Bernard Soubry here, bringing you the antepenultimate Hofgarten Days. Eleven! Pumped: in...

[HD-10] It's over, it's not over

I’ve been delaying writing this out of tiredness and now it’s 22:30 and if I don’t go to bed in the next half-hour, my pleasant Friday of writing out...

[HD-9] I have not washed my shirt in ten days.

Seven percent left on the battery, much less left on the brain. Hofgarten Days is almost over and I’m pretty sure I’m still Bernard Soubry, friends, but at...

Sore forearms from bouldering! Sore neck from typing! Sore back from not enough yoga! Oh, those Hofgarten Days, friends, they get to you. But we’re really,...

[HD-7] Day! Off!

Dear reader: Hofgarten Days. Bernard Soubry. Seventh email. And guess what? Yesterday, I had a day off. Happy Monday, B

[HD-6] The end of thought

Yesterday we hit the halfway mark in the conference. Last night, we finished at 21:30. Today, I feel like an old sponge you’ve left for too long in the sink,...

[HD-5] Booooooored

The head of the New Zealand delegation is checking her phone. The guy beside me is talking to his wife on iMessage about the colours they want to paint their...

[HD-4] Wonder about becoming a linden tree

Oh reader, indulge me - the days have been long! And by long I mean boring, and by boring I mean technical, and by technical I mean complete and utter bull—...

[HD-3] Lose it, break it

Geeze, I hear you say: that last one was weird. Give me some intense, high-level policy recaps! OK, OK, fine. I warned you. I am Bernard Soubry, welcome back...

[HD-2] A couple people and some rooms

Oh hello! You have made it to Bonn. You have walked along the Rhine from your hotel for half an hour, along the stunted trees and the old churches, and...

[Hofgarten - 1] Time for some research

Off to Bonn! Off to the Rhine and the kebab shops, to the ice cream on the Marktplatz and the drunk students playing obscure games on the public lawns. Off...

[FMAL-20] One Last One

It’s been a hot second, friends! But let’s summon the energy to get off the couch—or at least, for me, Bernard Soubry, to do so—and have one last go at...

[FMAL-19] Wherein it is obvious I have a degree in English literature

There was a lake; and tonight, my friends, there will be fondue. Welcome to Definitely a Lake and Probably Fondue, wherein I, Bernard Soubry, write very...

[FMAL-18] In Summary

Why, if it isn't Fondue, and Maybe a Lake, and that little stinker Bernard. Bet you think you're so tough, hey? Because you've written eighteen whole emails?...

[FMAL-17] God Bless The Lake

Bernard, Fondue/Lake, seventeenth email. My mother is a lake swimmer. I grew up with the sight of her looking up at me on the dock, calling me in, laughing...

[FMAL-16] It is still Sunday

Urgh. I’m zonked. Tired. Bonking. Three sober sheets to the wind. Done and flipped over. Hello from Fondue and Maybe a Lake; I am just barely Bernard Soubry,...

[FMAL-15] Plenary Season

Plenary season, friends. Get your inflatable sleeping mats and caffeine pills. Or just chug along like me, Bernard Soubry, and read some Fondue, and Maybe a...

[FMAL-14] Spend it all

Saturday morning, friends, and the last Saturday morning we’ll have here. Tired, because I left work at ten PM. Brain-frazzled, because my whole day was...

[FMAL-13] I fucking love bikes

Hello again and welcome to Fondue, or Maybe a Lake, and its truly sleep-deprived author, Bernard Soubry ! Let us take a brief pause while the old world dies...

[FMAL-12] Stocktake, reassuredfeel

Take a breath, dear reader. Let’s just sit down and review where we’ve been. Reflect on some beautiful memories. And let’s make incredibly complicated...

[FMAL-11] Seminar on Environmental Issues

The sun is rising in Geneva, my legs are sore from morning yoga, and spring is here; "the earth is like a child / that knows so many poems", Rilke says....

[FMAL-10] Aaron Neville's Soulful Christmas

What are they negotiating? Why should we care? What kind of barefoot shoe should I buy before my girlfriend picks them up for me in Vermont? Two of these...

[FMAL-09] A Day Off

Tell me, my friends, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious weekend? My name is Bernard Soubry, and this is what I did with mine,...

[FMAL-08] Australia, Cameroon, Japan

We did it, my friends! We got to the end of the first week! What a celebration. Let us revel in it by sleeping for twelve hours. This is a barely-there...

[FMAL-07] Introduction to Talking

Wait, what was yesterday? Isn’t this a newsletter about biodiversity negotiations? Doesn’t this guy have a Ph.D.? Isn’t it a bit pathetic that he’s...

[FMAL-06] Newsletter to the Bees

It’s been a long day, and I needed to talk to the bees. So you get to listen in. Bernard Soubry. Fondue, and Maybe a Lake. Sixth email. Oh, bees; oh, hives...

[FMAL-05] Whatever Happens In The Non-Paper Stays In The Non-Paper

Welcome, dear contestants! This is the rough-and-tumble world of Fondue, and Maybe a Lake, and I am your host, Bernard Soubry. Let’s play to win. Contact...

[FMAL-04] Someone Just Tell Me When To Poop

Dear God, is it only Tuesday? My room is a dump. Our office is scattered. I am off my routine. I haven’t even made one yet. So let’s talk routines. Yeah,...

[FMAL-03] Big, Anxious Dog

The world outside is warm and windy, but my real world these days is tube lights and power strips. Makes you all jealous, I imagine. As always, this is...

[FMAL - 02] Well, we're here

There is a window overlooking the rain and the street. There is a pile of antigen tests on the bed. There is the detritus of a long voyage, and a tired boy...

[FMAL] 1 - An Introduction, and Welcome

Dear Reader-- In two weeks, I’ll be getting on an airplane to Geneva to report on the meetings of the UN’s Convention on Biological Diversity. During that...