Socialism Ruins Everything Except Rent Prices And Grocery Bills

As we all know, socialism is a proven destroyer of all things good and holy in this world, except for rent prices and grocery bills. Just ask Zohran Mamdani, the new mayor-elect of New York City, who somehow managed to win an election despite his obvious commitment to making the city's residents actually live decent lives.

Mamdani's campaign was a masterclass in subtlety, addressing only the most pressing issues facing New Yorkers today: rent that erases paychecks, inflation that turns groceries into hard decisions, and ICE raids in broad daylight (because who needs due process, anyway?). His proposals were radical, yet somehow not too radical for the city's residents, who are apparently just fine with living in a state of perpetual precarity.

But what's really causing panic among the art world elite is Mamdani's plan to tax billionaires. Yes, you read that right - billionaires! Those poor, hardworking individuals who have been subsidizing the city's cultural institutions for decades (read: buying overpriced art and donating to museums). It's simply unacceptable that they might be asked to contribute a little bit more to the system.

One brave soul, @jerrygogosian on Instagram, spoke out against Mamdani's plans. "Mamdani is bad for the art world," she declared in all caps. "You complain enough when you have to split a painting fifty-fifty with your dealer. Wait until you get those socialist taxes on top of it." Because nothing says "free speech" like circulating neo-Nazi propaganda to defend one's position.

It's worth noting that Jerry doesn't actually live in New York City, but who needs personal experience or actual knowledge when you have a strong opinion? And hey, if taxing billionaires is what's needed to make the city's residents' lives slightly less terrible, then so be it. Maybe some art world types will have to get used to living in Brooklyn and not Manhattan.

In conclusion, socialism may ruin everything except rent prices and grocery bills, but at least we'll all be able to afford a decent slice of pizza.