Resistance to Joy
Every once and a while I face a physiological indifference to music. I have to think that this is a natural correction for learning about an especially affirming band or artist. If you’re a squirrel suit base jumper, eventually you may reach a maximum level of adrenaline with jump after jump, and you’ll have to take a break, or you’ll hit a bridge—each is a natural correction.
The indifference could also be a consequence of overwhelm, and taking on projects that become a priority. I originally started Here To Listen to specifically write about music. Not in a journalistic sense, because that’s easy enough to find and usually not very good. I wanted to write about music from an interior point of view, how it made me feel and what it made me think of. And sometimes there is a bridge in the way and I don’t think about anything.
Here to Listen quickly spun into a community radio show. That was totally unplanned and the result of meeting my now friend, Clay. And then the project birthed a podcast These Are My Friends. Because I’m someone who likes unified media, I initially wanted everything to flow from the newsletter to the radio show, then to the podcast. I would follow a specific schedule. A song of the week on Wednesday that would lead to a newsletter issue on Saturday that would lead to the radio show on Sunday, and then “culminating” with the podcast on Monday.
There was also the fact that I wanted to share this with you all, and sharing means I sometimes have to balance my pure personal interests with what may actually connect with other people.
For instance, right now while writing, I listened to a new Iron Monkey song, followed by a new High on Fire song, and finally arriving at the new single “Flamme Jumelle” by Alcest. While I do have friends and connections that may like all of these artists, I acknowledge that they are not universally relatable. Even within that series, Alcest is far removed from Iron Monkey, with High on Fire maybe bridging the gap, if only via Iron Monkey’s muscularity reaching out to that within High on Fire whose musical grandiosity reaches out to Alcest to continue the cord.
But even among my very close friends, there are aspects of Iron Monkey, High on Fire, and Alcest that may be sonically alienating. And if I wanted to follow a specific, unified schedule, that would mean I have to hold attention for sometimes niche music across four to five pieces of media. I leaned into this one week and programmed a whole playlist for my radio show featuring d-beat / crust / hard powerviolencey kind of stuff. And I think there were some technical issues with the station at the time, so it sounded objectively terrible on the radio and the stream. And even if the audio was to standard during broadcast, how many people would want to listen to a persistent diet of Entombed, Disfear, Wolfbrigade, and Nails? Me, definitely. But a lot of my enthusiasm for music depends on sharing that enthusiasm with other people.
All of this to share that I have not written anything for the newsletter in a few weeks, I’ve been ‘meh’ about playlists for the radio show, and starting up the podcast has taken a lot of focus. So I’m going to do my best to return to the original goal of this music love, unify it, and get back into a regular schedule and see how it goes. Accept that joy is worth sharing even if not everyone gets it. And then a bridge will be in the way at some point, I’m sure.
If you want to continue the discussion, send me an email or put it through the snail mail
HERE TO LISTEN LLC
PO BOX 725
BRATTLEBORO, VT 05302
You can listen to the radio show on Brattleboro's community station WVEW every Sunday at 12pm EST
Here to Listen show archives are available here
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