Star Wars : Episodes IV–VI :: Weezer : The Blue Album & Pinkerton
Look, I don't really know what this is about either.
Friends: I didn’t send a newsletter last week because I was visited by a very rude virus that sapped most of my energy for days (plus I haven’t gotten to the point of stockpiling these newsletters yet). The ensuing days have been busy with work, family stuff, a friend got a kegerator, etc.
So I present to you this maybe unfinished essay from a few years ago that I have tried to write several times and I’m still not actually sure I believe entirely. If you’ve ever heard the “strong opinions, weakly held” idea, this is an early-stage example of an argument that falls into that category. I haven’t poked enough holes in this, and the truth is I would still watch any of the Star Wars original trilogy or listen to the first two Weezer albums at the drop of a hat. But I’m trying to articulate something about nostalgia as a substitution for quality. Or something. Enjoy (or don’t).
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A few years ago, I saw one of my favorite musicians, David Bazan, perform in San Francisco. As is often his custom, he took questions from the crowd, and someone asked whether he was more OK with Weezer post-Pinkerton, or Star Wars post-Episode VI. He talked about his answer in this 2010 interview, but even just the question struck a chord with me because I’ve pondered it often myself. For much of my life, I held both the original Star Wars trilogy and the first two Weezer LPs in high esteem.
For a long time, I held very similar opinions about both. Star Wars episodes IV–VI were a pristine example of storytelling and sci-fi filmmaking that were critical in my cultural education and upbringing. The atrocities of the CGI-heavy prequels (I’m not even going to get into the nostalgia-fueled sequels of recent years) were numerous: the racist Jar Jar Binks character; the obvious green-screened performances; Samuel L. Jackson as the most boring character he’s ever played in his storied career. It seemed clear that we could easily ignore the sins of latter-year Lucas and continue worshiping at the altar of Luke, Leia, and Han.
Similarly, the sonic and lyrical content of Weezer’s self-titled debut and its sexier, more boisterous followup Pinkerton were mid-90s beacons of hope in a world previously dominated by sad (but awesome) grunge and later dominated by sad (and decidedly not-awesome) rap-rock. After a several-year hiatus, they returned with the lackluster “green album” and continued to crank out ever more bewildering and flaccid records.
Still, we had those original relics to hold on to, right? Nothing could touch the emotional apex of The Empire Strikes Back when (SPOILER ALERT) Luke learns he is the progeny of The Supreme Bad Dude Himself, Darth Vader. Similarly, no one could take away Rivers Cuomo’s weariness of empty intercourse in “Tired of Sex,” right? Not with that killer bass riff!
But.
Maybe those things weren’t all that good in the first place.
Maybe nostalgia has colored my opinions of both the Rebellion and the geek rock revolution.
Maybe Star Wars and Weezer weren’t as great as I thought.
Let’s look first at Star Wars. The whole original story arc is one of the canonical film examples of the “hero’s journey” story cycle. And on paper, or perhaps in the recesses of our brains, it holds up. Luke is an unwitting participant in a war he barely understands, and winds up saving the galaxy multiple times. There are fast ships, headstrong princesses, and sassy smugglers. Aliens, robots, blasters, womp rats, etc. It all sounds awesome.
But.
Have you ever REALLY paid attention to the dialogue? Or watched the performances critically? Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness, and James Earl Jones were about the only ones earning their paychecks, really. Mark Hamill, though occasionally vulnerable and believable, is largely over-exaggerating nearly everything he says. Harrison Ford can’t deliver a line without snarling his lip and practically dry-humping Fisher.
As I rewatched the originals with my son (the Despecialized Editions, to make sure his viewing experience wasn’t tainted by unnecessary CGI), these flaws showed through, and I had a hard time judging any one of those films as an actually great movie.
On to Weezer. The band seemingly came out of nowhere during an era of Very Serious Rock. When The Blue Album came out in 1994, the biggest bands in the alternative scene were the likes of Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, etc. By contrast, Weezer was so unassumingly normal and geeky that it seemed like a breath of fresh air. Also: those guitars sounded rad. And then Pinkerton?! Holy smokes. Such raw emotion balanced with goofy harmonies and ad libs, and even beefier, blown-out production. The record became a cultural touchstone for every indie rock band for a decade to come.
But.
Listen to some of those lyrics.
I want a girl who will laugh for no one else
When I’m away, she puts her makeup on the shelf
When I’m away, she never leaves the house
I want a girl who laughs for no one else— “No One Else,” Weezer
OK, but obviously he was being tongue in cheek with that—
I wonder what clothes you wear to school
I wonder how you decorate your room
I wonder how you touch yourself
And curse myself for being across the sea— “Across The Sea,” Pinkerton
Hm, he’s talking about an 18-year-old Japanese fan who wrote a letter to him. That seems kinda creepy. Still, if that’s the only—
Goddamn you half-Japanese girls
Do it to me every time— “El Scorcho,” Pinkerton
Oh, for Christ’s sake. Fetishizing Asian women? This is a whole theme on the record, and one I can no longer listen to without cringing.
We’ve become a society fueled by nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. Just search for “90s kid” on BuzzFeed and you’ll find no shortage of lists of things for which you should feel some twinge of remembrance. Let’s rewind to a time when VH1 had realized the success of “I love the ‘80s” and “I love the ‘90s” was repeatable in more recent history, and we had “Best Week Ever” to look nostalgically upon THE LAST 7 DAYS.
I’m not saying there’s nothing redeeming about Star Wars episodes IV–VI or Weezer episodes I–II. But looking at them with a critical eye, it’s hard for me to give them a pass for all the cringe-worthy moments that they bring to me now.
XO,
Grant
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