Ending the Year Strong
I used to write these end-of-year blog posts every year. It’s something I’ve gotten out of the habit of doing due to COVID, but wanted to share some things from this year with y’all.
A Rough Day of Testing
Back in January 2019, I finally received my hypermobility and MCAS diagnoses. The provider I saw for hypermobility also had given me a differential diagnosis of Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Over the summer this year, I was able to get a virtual appointment with the POTS clinic at Cleveland Clinic. Last week, I went in for a day of testing.
It was… an experience. Honestly, I’m feeling less like this was the best step for me.
You can read more about that here.
Even though that was less awesome, my life is full of abundance right now. Since we’re close to the end of the year, I wanted to share these things with you.
The Book
I wrote a chapter in “Keeping It Real with Arthritis,” out now! Created by Effie Koliopoulos, this book is a collection of over 100 worldwide, personal stories written by passionate and inspiring individuals living with arthritis, and their supporters; parents, caretakers, and medical professionals. All royalties for this book support the International Foundation for Autoimmune & Autoinflammatory Arthritis. If you’re interested in snagging a copy, you can order it today here.
My Name Change
When I was a kid, the name I was given by my family fit. I loved it, leaning into the American Girl doll stories I was named after.
As I grew up, I started disliking my name. People always pronounced and spelled it wrong, transposing letters. While it's easy to do that and therefore also easy to forgive it, it stung.
As I found myself and explored my gender, hearing that name began to do more than sting. I didn't hate it, but it felt like a weird holiday sweater that was sized completely wrong and made of fabric I'm allergic to.
Two years ago, I picked a name for myself. My first name was gender-neutral enough that it felt good regardless of the way I was presenting. The middle name would be after Patrick Stewart, the person who taught me about righteousness, leadership, and caring for others through his acting.
I finally had time last Friday to run in and submit my name change request. I was prepared for a hearing and all of that but instead received a letter yesterday to certify that my name - Grayson - is actually mine.
I’m so thrilled, even though that means a lot of paperwork for changing my name everywhere.
My New Job
My last day at my old day job was December 7th and it was a long time coming. The amount of stress relief that I’ve experienced around work is just wild. My body is so much happier.
On the 12th, I started with an amazing company focused on DEIB (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging) work. I get to create content to specifically educate folks at large companies about the world we live in and how it truly works. The fact that they recruited me via LinkedIn and my social media presence is just fantastic. Many of us fear how folks will react when we post educational content on social media platforms like LinkedIn. There can be some awful responses, including blowback at jobs.
I’ve got unlimited PTO and work on a team where every single person is focused on DEIB work. I’m neither the only non-cisgender person nor the only disabled or neurodivergent person. I love every single person on my team and am so excited to bring more of my skills to this work to change the world.
I’ve also found community with folks on some other teams already with plans to hang out in person and co-work in the future.
New Opportunities
I’ve been approached to join a number of committees to improve healthcare and do more freelance work. Thanks to having unlimited PTO and the ability to flex my hours at work, I can finally participate in more of these kinds of opportunities! I’m so excited to do more of this work I love and adore.
Two Years with My Favorite Human
Two years ago on December 2, I met my partner in person for the first time.
I woke up bright and early to make the drive to Ohio. This allowed us to spend time cooking and watching a movie together while meeting for the first time in person. I arrived to find a series of notes welcoming me to the cabin we rented, suggesting I shower after the long drive, etc. I even got to put on a blindfold! They grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in for a kiss before I ever saw their face. It was so romantic.
When we woke up the next morning, we made breakfast together and got ready for our first hike together, where we took the picture on the left - our first one together. (The one on the right is from 9-13-22 when Grav asked me to marry them in the same spot.)
I quickly started dreading a few days later when I'd have to make the long drive back to Wisconsin on my own. I left with a note to open on my way back which expressed how much he wanted to spend his life with me - and I felt the exact same way.
Now here we are, having bought a house together a year ago and planning our wedding for next year. I have never felt as partnered, cared for, or loved as I do right now - not just by my partner but by the entire family.
I'm so ready to enjoy the next 274 days planning things together and then share our love with our friends and family.
This Doesn’t Happen in a Vacuum
One of my favorite Audre Lorde quotes is,
“Without community, there is no liberation…but community must not mean a shedding of our differences, nor the pathetic pretense that these differences do not exist.”
The things that I’ve been able to do this year have so much to do with the support I receive from each of you, folks contributing via Patreon (which I suck at updating), and more. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for reading, listening, sharing your thoughts and stories, and for just being you.
I’d LOVE to hear about the wins you’ve had this year, whether that’s recent or earlier on.
If you have feedback or anything you’d like to share, feel free to reach out to me on social media or by email (all linked here).
Take care of you, lovebug <3
Grayson