Hayley: This year, Victoria and I have dubbed February "Boyfriend Month" over here at Gold-Plated Girls. I wanted an excuse to talk about some of my favorite—and least favorite!—boyfriends of pop culture, and what better time to do that than during the Valentine's Day month?

There are SO many boyfriends it is hard to know where to start. Think of all of the boyfriends Liz Lemon had during the course of 30 Rock: Dennis Duffy, Dr. Drew, Wesley, James Franco, Gavin Volure, Floyd, Carol, Criss. Lately I've been thinking a lot about how much Floyd sucks, and how he keeps being propped up by Liz as one of the only "normal" men she has dated. Discuss!

While a TV boyfriend may have anywhere from 1 episode to an entire season (or more) of screentime, the movie boyfriend is a different beast. In romcoms, he is often the second lead of the movie, so our opinions form on him pretty quickly. And of course, sometimes there is an existing boyfriend when a movie begins, and then a new boyfriend that our lead develops a relationship with while doing some hijinx. Some of my favorite 2 boyfriend pairings are Adam Scott and Matthew Goode in Leap Year, James Marsden and Patrick Dempsey in Enchanted, and Tom Hanks and Bill Pullman in Sleepless in Seattle. When a movie gives us two compelling boyfriends, as opposed to obviously "Bad" and "Good" ones, that's cinema, baby! 

If I had to plot fictional boyfriends on a continuum, the extreme ends would be Luke Wilson as Emmett in Legally Blonde and Adrien Grenier as Nate in The Devil Wears Prada. Victoria—what are the ends of your boyfriend continuum?

Victoria: I do love a movie where both boyfriends are pretty good. James Marsden is ALSO the guy she doesn't pick in The Notebook, which is so funny because Allie (Rachel McAdams) acts like it would be SO TERRIBLE to marry him and it's like....ok James Marsden is rich and hot, I think you'll be pretty happy with him!! Greg Kinnear is a hilarious example of "the current boyfriend who's just not completely up to snuff" in You've Got Mail, and YGM also gives Tom Hanks a bad girlfriend, a role that Parker Posey makes a meal of.   

Emmett in Legally Blonde is for sure one of the best fictional boyfriends (he's even better in Legally Blonde: The Musical, which Hayley famously has not seen!!). The worst is maybe...the guy Drew Barrymore was going to marry in The Wedding Singer (I LOVE The Wedding Singer). That guy is over-the-top bad, whereas my understanding of The Devil Wears Prada is Nate is more bad in a grounded way (I have never seen The Devil Wears Prada, and I don't think I want to submit myself to its fatphobia, unfortunately). The worst movie girlfriend is Julia Roberts in Notting Hill; she is SO MEAN to Hugh Grant.

Lucas Hedges in Lady Bird is a favorite movie boyfriend, because "boy you have a deep crush on, you're destined to be together — oh god he's gay!!!" is something I have experienced...more than once. Thank you Greta Gerwig for writing this important representation. Peter in the To All The Boys I Loved Before series is great because he obviously loves Lara Jean, but he is also a teenage boy and he fucks up and they're trying to figure it out together. TATBILB has the benefit of being a series and giving their relationship some time to breathe!

Obviously Ben on Parks & Rec is a fantastic boyfriend. Dating Andy would be a nightmare. Adam Brody's brief run as Dave on Gilmore Girls is legendary because he was such a WONDERFUL boyfriend to Lane...and they replaced him with evil, evil Zack. Jess was a bad boyfriend to Rory as a teenager but I believe if he went to therapy he would be a good boyfriend as an adult. 

As I'm writing, I'm reflecting on the relationships that have stuck with me, the ones I found the most romantic as a teen, and I'm quickly realizing that I liked the most problematic ones lol. Like I was such a simp for Sean and Emma on Degrassi, and Sean was a horrible boyfriend, huge "I can fix him" vibes. I wanted Lena and Kostos to work things out so badly in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants books (fuck the movies), and he sucked so much too! We never get to see Heath Ledger in full boyfriend mode in 10 Things I Hate About You, but for my sanity I will assume he was an excellent bf (he does start with the wonderful guitar present).

Hayley, ignoring the chaos of And Just Like That..., who are your favorite Sex and the City boyfriends?

Hayley: Wow thank you for giving me the space to talk about Sex and the City boyfriends. Buckle up. 

I love Steve so much. I have a group chat named #TeamSteve and we are dutifully, if painfully, watching AJLT fuck up everything that is good in Steve's life. The best thing about Steve is that he loves Miranda. He loves her SO much that it gives him a sense of peace and of purpose. Miranda is an imperfect partner, and so is Steve. But they keep coming back to each other over the series because at the end of the day, Steve grounds Miranda and her neuroses by the simple fact that he adores her. I hesitate to call Steve a himbo, but he is himbo-adjacent. There is a simplicity to Steve, and I don't mean that in a dismissive way. He is a guy who knows what he likes: the Knicks, Miranda, and Brady. Everything else is superfluous to him. 

Smith is also an impeccable boyfriend. I have complicated feelings about Samantha breaking up with Smith. (Honestly I think most of my issues with SATC can be resolved by imagining that the movies do not exist. This is easier to do with the second movie, but for some reason my brain keeps thinking the events of the first movie are part of the last season of the series.) Samantha delivers one of the most iconic breakup lines of all time when she tells Smith, "I love you, but I love me more." It's a rallying cry for single women everywhere. HOWEVER, I take issue with the idea that Smith has ever impeded Samantha in any way. I also believe that perennially single women are allowed to fucking have a loving partner! There is no betrayal of Samantha's core essence in keeping them together. Of our four protagonists, Samantha has the thickest, highest walls up. What is so great about Smith is that he is able to see beyond that wall without making her take it down completely, because he knows that. It's an absolute perfect pairing, and the dynamic of their relationship is incredibly special. Smith understands Sam, and he supports her without her ever having to ask him to.

And of course, sweet, sweet Harry. Harry and Charlotte's love story is so perfect and so perfectly them. I love that Harry basically gives Charlotte anything she wants because he basically doesn't care about anything but her. Honestly, him and Steve have that in common, and I think it's the secret sauce for a LTR with one of our four leading ladies. I think it is particularly telling that whenever I'm feeling blue I google "when do harry and charlotte meet satc" because it's such a fun arc and I love watching Charlotte reckon with the fact that her "knight in shining armor" is not the WASP she had always envisioned in her happily ever after. 

I fucking hate Big and he is a terrible boyfriend. Aidan is a good boyfriend, I suppose, but not for Carrie. I honestly think Carrie needs someone who is as rich and classy as Big thinks he is, but who is a little younger than her (not so young that she freaks out about it as she is wont to do), and likes playing the role of "dress up boyfriend" for whatever Carrie wants to do that evening. Carrie loves going out, going to parties, and being seen. I think she needs a boyfriend who loves to go out with her while letting her have the spotlight. Ideally his job is something chic that she can brag about, but it's not so high stakes that it takes him away from her (in the way Petrovsky did). But he does need to make an exorbitant amount of money. This is nonnegotiable. 

Here are some rapid-fire additional opinions: I love how chickenshit Berger is. I think Richard is an asshole, but I like the way that Samantha learned a lot about herself from dating him. I find Trey so cringeworthy and gross and just...childish and BLAH ugh shoutout to Kyle Machlachlan on this performance because it's impossible for me to not be physically repulsed by Trey. Also, big shoutout to Marcus, a relatively long term boyfriend of Stanford's for being hot and also being the voice of reason on more than one occasion. 

What are some boyfriends that you feel were so close to being good, but ultimately fell flat? 

Victoria: Is Orpheus, from Greek mythology, the ultimate almost-good boyfriend? He leads Eurydice out of hell, only to mess it up at the last minute! It's tragic and beautiful (everyone go see Hadestown), but buddy, you couldn't have kept your eyes ahead?

Rafael and Michael on Jane The Virgin are both almost good boyfriends. Michael (understandably) had a lot of jealousy, but he pulled it out at the end (and then he died....and we won't speak of his return from the dead!). Raf I always felt didn't love Jane, but loved the idea of Jane and of having a family with her. I don't feel confident about the longevity of their happily ever after, sorry!

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is full of "almost good" boyfriends, and one of the themes of the show is that no one is perfect and everyone has their own stuff to sort out. Greg would be the boyfriend who I would choose, but Josh and Nathaniel both have their charms. Darryl would maybe be the best catch of them all! 

I'm realizing how many of my favorite boyfriends are in books, where they get the most space to vibe, and sometimes we even get their POV. Dev in The Charm Offensive is a supportive and kind king, as is Zaf in Take A Hint, Dani Brown. Eric in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is a bad boy who turns into a good boyfriend, which is delicious. Bridget and Eric forever. 

There's this popular meme about fictional boyfriends, that they ruin women's brains and give us too high expectations, which I think is misogynist bullshit. The world tells us to lower our expectations, and the only people that benefits are bad men. I think about this Bolu Babalola tweet all the time:

Lots of young women message me about & for romantic advice & I can never get to them all,  but I want to say this: you deserve a love u can sink your teeth into & elevates u, one u feel cherished in- one that makes u feel more potent in who u are & u feel both strong& soft in. Love u!

Yeah, we do deserve that! We deserve the dream of true love. We deserve partners who cherish and uplift us, who don't make us put our lights under a bushel. The ones who don't need us, but are glad to have us, who know we're a gift. And if that dream is impossible, I won't stop dreaming the impossible dream.

Stuff Hayley Loves:

• I just started listening to As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride and I cannot recommend it highly enough, it's basically an oral history of the movie narrated by Cary Elwes and other people involved, like Rob Reiner, Robin Wright, Billy Crystal, and Carol Kane. For the record, I would listen to Cary Elwes read me a CVS receipt.

• The Neutrogena Hydro Boost Body Lotion Gel Cream is the only body lotion I use anymore. I buy it two at a time when it's on sale at Walgreens.

• I've made this Roasted Garlic Kale Caesar with Spicy Breadcrumbs and Charred Lemon twice and I don't anticipate stopping anytime soon. The homemade Caesar dressing is just beyond delicious.

Things Victoria Recommends:

• I got platform Crocs in a post-Christmas sale and I basically have not taken them off since they arrived. The perfect house shoe.

• I read Bolu Babalola's short story anthology Love in Color and it was so nice!

• If you want free crochet patterns to play around with, I really like hayhaycrochet.

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