Hello fabulous GPG readers, and welcome to one of our guest issues! We're so excited to expand our newsletter and share writing from more of our favorite people with all of you. Have an idea for your very own guest post? Pitch it to us at goldplatedgirls@gmail.com.
This week we welcome guests Julia Clausen and Victoria Bruick, two life-long friends, former roommates, and the hosts of the podcast Book Club with Julia & Victoria.
Two Book Nerds, One List: Our Friendship Canon
By Julia Clausen & Victoria Bruick
Did you ever wonder why the hell you were reading a bunch of dead white guys in your high school English class? (Or maybe you had a super cool teacher who let you read less dusty books, and in that case, good 4 u.) This was The Canon. In The Canon are all the books that academics have decided are critical to read if you are going to consider yourself “truly accomplished.”
Most contemporary academics will agree that The Canon needs regular updating (thus the rush in recent decades to add in women and authors of color to required reading lists). But we, like many millennial English majors, will argue that the idea of “The Canon” is utter horseshit.
So we decided to create our own, personal friendship canon for just the two of us. We like lists. We like to claim things we read as important, foundational, and essential to our lives. So here is our friendship canon. The books that have defined and shaped our friendship as a couple of book nerds.
In the words of the Spice Girls, “If you wannabe my friend, you gotta get with these books. Or not, since they’re so specific to me and my experiences, so just like… live your life, and read what makes you happy… or whatever…but we would recommend these...”
1. Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy by Donald Miller
Victoria Bruick: By the time this 2015 book hit bookstores, I was in the time of my life where I was devouring as many of Miller’s ~edgy~ Christian memoir-style books I could get my hands on. Honestly, I might have bought this book for Julia’s birthday just so I could borrow it and read it again. As a nineteen-year-old just starting to date, I really related with Miller’s struggle to be his authentic self in relationships. #enneagram3life
While Miller’s book has its faults in my eyes now (namely a strong hetero-normative gender roles bias), there are some foundational relationship ideas (that he mostly got from his therapist and cannot claim credit for) that I still draw on: especially the pillow analogy. This is one Julia and I refer to constantly, not only in reference to dating but all kinds of relationships.
Julia Clausen: Ah, yes, the great pillow analogy. There’s a long backstory to it, but essentially it’s all about boundary setting. I can step on my pillow or our shared friendship pillow, but I can’t step on Victoria’s pillow without breaking her boundaries and her trust. This is one of the areas in which, in my humble opinion, I am best able to help V because she absolutely hates telling people no, and I fucking love it. So I’m her little cheerleader, always reminding her to get all those assholes off her pillow.
Recommended for anyone who... grew up in a religious household and feels like they don’t know how to express emotions or be a real human being without shame.
2. The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy with Autism by Naoki Higashida
JC: Something that I didn’t know about myself until very recently, is that I am autistic. And, of course, being the person that I am, I had to read approximately 12,000 books about the topic before I felt comfortable asking my therapist about it. Just to be safe. And I learned so much about me and my people, particularly how wide a variety of experiences there are on the autism spectrum.
I have shamelessly required V to read a number of autism-related books for the podcast at this point, so I’m grateful she’s been ready and willing to tag along as I uncover more and more about myself. Her support is genuinely part of what keeps me going. No sarcasm here, just the pure sappiness of friendship.
VB: Friendship sappiness is always welcome in my book.
I’m super grateful you passed this book along to me. Not only was the book an insightful read, but it also opened the door for you and me to have such great conversations about autistic experiences and the disability community. I think the book is particularly powerful coming from an author who is nonverbal, autistic, and a young teen: three first-hand perspectives we rarely encounter in literature.
Recommended for anyone who... wants to think deep thoughts, to learn about how the young author’s autistic mind works, or to have a good cry.
3. You’re a Miracle (and a Pain in the Ass) by Mike McHargue
JC: Mike McHargue and his podcasts Ask Science Mike and The Cozy Robot Show have been great sources of comfort throughout the pandemic because his whole mission as a human being is to help people think critically and learn new things while being in touch with their feelings. He is also an autistic man whose special interests involve science, technology, neurobiology, and human rights activism. So, needless to say, I would trust him with my life.
He published this book in the early days of the pandemic about--and this is the best way I know how to describe this--compassionate and accessible neuroscience. You learn all sorts of cool things about how your brain is like a burrito and how to love yourself more. This book was crucial to our survival as roommates during quarantine and is absolutely a J&V household essential.
VB: This book could not have entered our lives at a better time. Mike McHargue and Mike McHargue alone could write this book. If someone asks, “what is this book like?” I can only give loose comparisons. It’s like if an AI with the knowledge of the entire internet read Brené Brown and then wrote a book and wrapped it in the magic of a hug from your best friend.
Recommended for anyone whose... brain goes ding when there’s stuff.
4. The Word Detective: Searching for the Meaning of it All at the Oxford English Dictionary by John Simpson
VB: Okay, okay hear me out on this one. I love a good memoir. I love learning about etymology (where words come from), and I am absolutely fascinated by people who work those jobs that you’re like, “Oh right, that’s someone’s job?!” So a memoir by the former editor-in-chief of the Oxford English Dictionary? That’s my cup of tea. However, it’s so specifically my cup of tea (English Breakfast with one sugar and a splash of milk--we’re going for a warm caramel color here), that I doubt J would ever want to read this book. However, I am grateful that she recognizes this love of mine enough to recommend I add it to our Canon.
JC: I absolutely love that this book exists and that V is obsessed with it because that means I can tease her about it as often as possible. It’s a book that perfectly captures her interests, and is so unbelievably nerdy, that I just can’t resist. Of course, if we’re being honest, I would probably enjoy it too. Our shared nerd-dom with regards to words and how people write stories with them is like the entire foundation of our friendship. But I mean, come on… it’s about a guy who wrote the dictionary! All the same, I love listening to her talk about it.
Recommended for anyone... so obsessed with words they need to read a book written in words about a person who spent his whole life making a book with ALL the words.
5. Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout
JC: This book was super influential for me in informing the type of writer I wanted to be. I read it going into my senior year of college, and I essentially based my entire final project around its structure. Strout’s novel won a Pulitzer for fiction and is truly an incredible piece of writing. I think I’ve brought it to literally every single podcast planning session since Season 1, and it has not once been considered because we just have an abundance of sad, contemplative white women on our shelves.
Victoria has, to this day, never read it.
VB: I feel a little friendship shame, not because I haven’t read the book, but because I didn’t realize for like...six seasons of our podcast, that this book was so important to you. I knew it came up a lot, but I thought it was for the reason you mentioned -- we have an abundance of sad, contemplative white women on our shelves, so this one would get recommended whenever we read another #sadwhitewomanwriter. My apologies for only in recent months connecting the dots to your own writing. And now I feel a book-friend duty to read this and revel in Strout’s sadness with you.
Recommended for anyone who... wants to feel the angst of loosely interconnected lives moving through the heavy passage of time.
6. Ayoade on Top by Richard Ayoade
JC: Originally this is one of the books I would never recommend because I thought V wouldn’t like it. It felt too niche and specific to me and my type of humor, and I am extremely protective about the media and pop culture that I love. Sometimes it takes me years to tell someone what my favorite film is. As if that is the single most vulnerable thing you could reveal to someone, and not like, your traumas and shit.
But then we were planning Season 8 of the podcast, and we were clean out of books off our shelves. Victoria was down to try it, even though I’m pretty sure the impression she had of what to expect was…weird at best, incomprehensible at worst. But she loved it! I almost cried of relief.
VB: I never would have gone searching for a satirical film critique of an extremely mediocre Gwenyth Paltrow movie, but I’m glad you shared this book with me. Many books have made me chuckle. Only this one has forced me to put the book down because my stomach hurt and tears streamed down my face from laughing so hard.
Recommended for anyone who... loves Richard Ayoade as much as J does, or who loves reading media criticism for fun. (We aren’t kidding when we say it’s niche.)
7. I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown
VB: Growing up in predominantly white Evangelical Christian spaces, I resonated with the community that Austin Channing Brown describes in parts of her book. And it was paradigm-shifting to hear Brown’s honest account of how spaces much like the ones I grew up in valued “diversity” on paper, didn’t actually create communities where Black people, particularly Black women, were seen, heard, and empowered. Through this book, her video series, and her newsletter, ACB introduced me to several other Black authors, historians, and content creators that have guided my ongoing journey to unpack racism in myself, recognize it in my communities, and trace its roots through U.S. history and present-day policies.
JC: Yeah, this book was a pivotal one for me in my anti-racism journey as well. I got the book as soon as it came out and devoured it in about a day, writing very long essays at the end of each chapter in blue pen because there were so many thoughts taking shape in my head. This book is in our friendship Canon, not just because it played such an important role for each of us, but also because it’s one we come back to again and again together to see, “What does ACB have to say about this?” (And, yes, we really do call her that.)
Recommended for anyone who… wants to learn about anti-racism but doesn’t know where to start.
8. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty
VB: I am not sure what about me led our mutual friend to buy me this memoir on death and dying, but I’m so glad they did. SGIYE is one of those books that was so profoundly influential to my conception of “a good death”, that on re-reading the book, I was shocked at how many of my thoughts were actually ripped straight from the pen of Caitlin Doughty, a former crematory operator and current death acceptance revolutionary in the Western funeral industry.
The other week I was at a brewery trying to remember how to socialize with a group of acquaintances. One person mentioned reading a book about death, and before she even finished her sentence I screamed, “Oh my gosh was it Smoke Gets In Your Eyes!?” and proceeded to tell the whole table about this book. This list would not be complete without a nod to this wonderfully quirky and deeply reflective read.
JC: I would have everyone know that I helped pick out this book, even if I didn’t buy it with my own money. I was there at its purchasing, and for some reason, that feels important. (Probably since Victoria brings it up approximately once per month.) This book has led to many good conversations, but none so excellent as the time when I surprised my parents on Christmas holiday by asking them how they wanted to be buried and then telling them I definitely wanted to become a tree. Happy holidays to all.
Recommended for anyone... obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloween, general witchiness, or anyone who knows someone who might die someday.
Julia Clausen and Victoria Bruick are two life-long friends, former roommates, and the hosts of the podcast Book Club with Julia & Victoria. Each episode they pick a book off their shelves to explore new perspectives. They love to use books as tools for personal and community growth (and for temporarily escaping existential dread). You can also find them on Instagram at @bookclubwithjv . You can read more of Julia's writing on Medium and you can visit Victoria's website to learn more about her freelance marketing and podcast production work.
What Julia Is Into Right Now:
The K-pop album Bad Love by KEY
“James Acaster’s Perfect Sounds”, a podcast where James Acaster tries to convince you that 2016 was the best year for music of all time
The series Money Heist or La casa de papel on Netflix
What Victoria Can’t Stop Talking About:
The data+book beauty that is Storygraph where you can track all the books you’ve read and want to read, leave reviews, and participate in reading challenges.
The Financial Feminist podcast by Her First $100K. A wonderfully thorough, yet accessible introduction to personal finance and the ways our society shape women’s approach to money.
The Sasquatch Vol. 5 Limited Release coffee beans from Five & Hoek. Honestly, I’m hesitant to link to it in this newsletter because I don’t want these beans to sell out before I can buy like 5 bags of them. SO GOOD.