In light of Valentine’s Day, I started thinking about all of the ways that single women are portrayed in movies and television. I realized quickly that there seem to be a lot of similar qualities that these women share. As I ran through my mental list, I realized that there are two basic lines along which most characters can be plotted: the first is Horny/Sexless, and the second is Messy/Organized. So, I came up with a matrix and started writing down characters that I think fit into each quadrant.
But before we dive in, a note on my methodology: this is barely methodology. Like, legally, I’m pretty sure I’m not even allowed to use that word for such a non-scientific project. This is highly subjective. I am going off of my pop culture knowledge base, which is obviously skewed towards my lived experience as a cisgender, straight white woman. This is not an exhaustive list by any means, and in fact, I look forward to continuing to adjust and update this as I watch new movies and television shows.
Horny and Sexless
Is this as straightforward as “Madonna/Whore”? I say no. For me, when a character is “horny” it means that they are:
Engaging with their sexuality
Shown as having sex or is implied that they are sexually active
Talks about sex openly
Their sexuality is a point of discussion
Their sexuality ties into the overall plot and theme
Their sexuality is a means of power and/or status
A character is coded as horny whether or not their sexual choices are played for laughs or for pathos. Their sex life is part of their main character drive and comes up in multiple plot points throughout the series or the movie. There are explicitly sexual motivations for their choices as opposed to purely romantic ones.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have “sexless.” This wording is deliberate, and avoids the more stigmatizing and polarizing “prude” or “chaste”. In media, a “sexless” character is:
Not engaging with their sexuality
Not shown having sex, no implications that they are sexually active
Does not talk about sex
Their lack of sexuality is a point of discussion (or derision)
Jokes are made at their expense about being prude, chaste, repressed, etc.
Also, their sexuality is diluted into yearning, pining, or some other sort of PG-rated way of dealing with sexual expression.
Messy and Organized
These terms are my way of engaging with the shorthand Hollywood uses for quickly giving us a snapshot of a person’s internal life. Is “messy” a problematic catchall for anyone who is going through it? Yes! And so frequently, the nuances of a woman’s character development are dwindled down to one thing “She’s a mess.” A Messy character:
Has volatile relationships
Can be seen as irresponsible, flaky, or selfish
Does not live up to the status quo of their established world
Is described as “different”
Is a source of worry for their friends/coworkers
Is in a dead-end, low paying, or demeaning or embarrassing job
Is not good at their job, or not passionate about it
Fucks up any good thing that comes their way
We may see them use drugs and/or alcohol
A Messy character’s apartment is an afterthought, they don’t cook and just order takeout, they do the bare minimum to take care of themselves. There are probably overdue bills somewhere in their apartment.
Conversely, we have the Organized character. This dives into a different set of neuroses than the Messy character. An Organized character:
Has stable relationships
Can be seen as responsible, dependable, or selfless
Does not question the status quo, usually because it has always benefitted them
Has experienced great success in their career
Has a high-profile, exciting, well-established career
A perfectionist
Described as “uptight” or “a control freak”
Has “everything” — except a man
An Organized character’s apartment is pristine, sometimes cold. They’re all about routines and tidiness. Their life is lived by the book, which is stacked neatly next to all the other books at the end of the day.
Typically over the course of the TV show or movie, we watch these characters evolve. A Messy woman starts becoming Organized, and an Organized woman learns how to “let loose.” If you’re Horny, you need to slide towards a more Sexless state of being, or face repercussions, and vice versa. Let’s look at examples of intersections of these qualities:
Horny and Messy:
Bridget Jones (Renee Zellwegger) in Bridget Jones’ Diary
Rebecca Bunch (Rachel Bloom) in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) in Sex and the City
Issa Dee (Issa Rae) in Insecure
Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles) in 10 Things I Hate About You
Donna Sheridan (Meryl Streep/Lily James) in Mamma Mia!
Ilana Wexler (Ilana Glazer) in Broad City
Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) in Friends
Horny and Organized:
Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) in Sex and the City
Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) in When Harry Met Sally
Donna Meagle (Retta) in Parks and Recreation
Regina George (Rachel McAdams) in Mean Girls
Molly Carter (Yvonne Orji) in Insecure
Joan Holloway (Christina Hendricks) in Mad Men
Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) in Mad Men
Mindy Lahiri (Mindy Kaling) in The Mindy Project
Abbi Abrahms (Abbi Jacobson) in Broad City
Sexless and Messy:
Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) in 30 Rock
Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) in Miss Congeniality
Annie Reed (Meg Ryan) in Sleepless in Seattle
Lucy (Sandra Bullock) in While You Were Sleeping
Almost all of the Disney Princesses
Sexless and Organized:
Sandy (Olivia Newton-John) in Grease
Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) in Sex and the City
Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) in Sex and the City
Mary Fiore (Jennifer Lopez) in The Wedding Planner
Jane (Katherine Heigl) in 27 Dresses
Bianca Stratford (Larisa Oleynik) in 10 Things I Hate About You
Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) in Legally Blonde
Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) in Clueless
Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) in Parks and Recreation
You’re probably looking through that list and yelling at me for putting someone in a category that doesn’t make sense to you. This matrix functions as a scatter plot; some characters are closer to one end over the other, but they still maintain most of the characteristics of their quadrant. Some of the characters break out of their boxes, and some do not. You are allowed — encouraged, even — to argue with me. But I am right.
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to dive in and explore each of the quadrants. Who best embodies the spirit of each quadrant? Who fits in multiple quadrants? How can we move past such binary thinking when writing stories about single women? Stay tuned for more!