Victoria: There's been a lot of social media chatter about comfort movies during this year, for obvious reasons. The two of us rewatched The Parent Trap with our friend Brita last week, and it was definitely a comforting moment for me.
A comfort movie is built through repetition. When I was a kid, that meant wearing out the VHS tapes of the movies we liked the most, like Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Harriet the Spy, and, of course, The Parent Trap. Then there were movies my parents bought us because they liked them — I'm thinking of watching Star Wars with my brothers in our basement. Han and Leia's enduring love burnt itself into my brain earlier than I can remember.
But my most tried and true comfort movies were built because of cable television. I don't remember the first time I watched Dirty Dancing or When Harry Met Sally or Miss Congeniality, but I'm sure it's because they were playing one night on Bravo or TNT and one of my parents or, even more likely, my grandma, put them on. I still have a tendency to scroll through all the cable channels instead of pulling up Netflix and picking what I want to watch.
[ID: two Lindsay Lohans in “The Parent Trap”]
Hayley: The Parent Trap is definitely a movie that I’ve seen so many times that every frame is practically burned into my brain. I hadn’t watched it in a while until the three of us revisited it, and I experienced an intense feeling of comfort and happiness wash over me on that rewatch.
Comfort movies are definitely ones that stand up to multiple viewings. 10 Things I Hate About You is probably my most cherished and potentially most watched film of all times. It barely edges out Legally Blonde. But I turn to those movies for different reasons. 10 Things is one I watch when I’m already in a good mood, while Legally Blonde is one that I watch when I want to (bend and) snap out of a bad mood. It has never failed to make me feel better.
The movies that I watch when I’m sad and lonely and think I’ll never meet anyone interesting again are Sleepless in Seattle and Bridget Jones’ Diary. I’d categorize them as meandering but ultimately optimistic love stories. And they’re so tied to their respective locations that I like escaping to Seattle and England. And of course, there’s the ultimate location-based comfort movie: The Holiday. It’s like if drinking tea under a fuzzy blanket was a movie.
I’m trying to think if there are any movies made after 2006 that I would consider to be a comfort movie for me … and I’m coming up blank! Do you think that more recent movies just haven’t had a chance to make that long-term relationship with us? Or is there something about the movies you watch endlessly on TV and DVD as a tween/teen that just become muscle memory?
Victoria: I was surprised how I still knew every single line of The Parent Trap. Recently, I caught a couple minutes of Pirates of the Caribbean on TV; it was my favorite movie in middle school, but I’ve stopped watching it because I don’t fuck with Johnny Depp. But I still had every line burned into my brain! It made me sad I can’t enjoy it the same way anymore. The ability to be enjoyable after multiple viewings is definitely the most important part of a comfort film.
You’ve Got Mail and The Holiday are both comfort movies for me, and they both came out pre-2006, but I first watched both of them much later in the game, in 2016 and 2017, respectively. I’ve only seen While You Were Sleeping Once, but I think I will watch it five times this Christmas. The year thing might just be that it’s much harder to get these adult rom coms made today! They’ve slowly started to come back in the streaming era (I recommend Plus One on Hulu), but Netflix is still focusing their efforts on teen rom coms, many of which are middling. And the adult ones they’ve made aren’t exactly Nancy Meyers quality!
Awkward that you forgot the most important post-2006 comfort movie: Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. I won’t rehash our love of it, but I think it’s unique in being a film that got wide cinematic release that is aimed toward adult women. I have not tried to watch Lady Bird as a comfort movie, but I’m pretty sure it will work! Ditto Little Women (2019) — I’ve just been too worried about spoiler Beth’s death being too much for me right now. I would also say Bridesmaids is a comfort movie, and every time I see it on TV I stop for at least a little bit.
Speaking of TV, how does this comfort movie idea relate to television shows?
Hayley: WOW how could I forget about Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again … truly embarrassing. I have a brand to maintain here.
I am going to disagree and say that Lady Bird and Little Women are not comfort movies to me. Not because they’re bad (they emphatically are not) or because they’re recent releases, but because the emotional stakes of those movies are too high for me to get that bathwater-like feeling of comfort to wash over me when I watch them. I am oddly precious about the movies that I truly love, or that speak deeply to me on a personal or artistic level. Lady Bird and Little Women are movies I try to savor.
In terms of TV shows, I used to watch 30 Rock over and over again, to the point where one of my friends and I would joke about where we were “at” in our 30 Rock cycles. Parks and Rec used to be the TV equivalent of eating a pint of ice cream. For some reason since quarantine started, I have had almost zero desire to watch either show. Of course, peak comfort TV is Great British Bake Off and I am pleased to announce that I have introduced GBBO to my parents who absolutely love it.
Ultimately if I’m in a mood for something comfortable to watch, I err on the side of movies. There’s a finite end, which is nice. With TV now it’s like, do I stop after one or six more episodes? I have to do too much work to justify starting another episode or stopping. There’s nothing quite like putting on one of my comfort movies and saying okay brain, you don’t have to do anything until this is over. I think there’s a kind of freedom in that.
Victoria: I appreciate your perspective on the GGCU (Greta Gerwig Cinematic Universe). I know the 1994 Little Women is an enormous comfort movie for a lot of people, though I had never watched before last winter. The soundtracks to both Little Women films are very comforting to me.
I used to watch my favorite episodes of TV shows all the time for comfort, usually picking the ones where someone would confess their love (for 30 Rock this is “St. Patrick’s Day). Sometimes I would just watch my favorite love confession scenes on YouTube: Meredith’s candle house on Grey’s Anatomy, Emma and Knightley in the 2009 BBC miniseries, Colin Firth in Love Actually (how has Love Actually not come up in this conversation yet!).
Streaming services have changed our relationship to TV shows. Like, pre-Netflix streaming I never rewatched an episode of a TV show on purpose. I was stuck with whatever episode of Friends was on TBS at any moment. Weirdly now I’ve gone back to this — there are shows I’m currently binge-watching (The Real Housewives of Atlanta), but I also don’t really rewatch shows on streaming anymore. Yet I will watch whatever episode of Law & Order (regular or SVU) is on cable or an old episode of The Real Housewives of New York that Bravo decided to put on at 2 p.m. Is this newsletter really just an ode to cable? Is the point that I’m incapable of choosing things for myself?
[ID: Rosie O’Donnell and Meg Ryan watching their comfort movie during “Sleepless In Seattle”]
Links from Victoria:
amFAR did this virtual performance of scenes from Angels in America. If you don’t have an hour to spare, scroll to the end for Lois Smith’s plane monologue, and Brian Tyree Henry’s banger of an ending.
Pop singer Softee’s new album, Keep On.
This article about Snapewives.
Listen to the audiobook of Mariah Carey’s memoir, The Meaning of Mariah Carey.
Stuff Hayley Recommends:
This nail polish that makes me feel so fucking cool.
This vegan winter stew, which is everything you’re looking for in a hearty cold-weather meal.
This bralette that is legitimately the most comfortable one I’ve ever owned. I’m roughly a 36J and the Large in the full cup version is perfect for me. (If you’re large chested like moi and hugely skeptical of any bralettes, you have to trust me on this one.)
Speaking of lingerie, this beautiful little book from The Lingerie Addict is really cute, inclusive, and super informative.
Gold-Plated Girls comes out twice a week, on Tuesdays and Fridays! Don’t forget to check out Hayley’s Tuesday review of Netflix’s Medici: Masters of Florence.