Lots of thoughts stewing recently, but I failed to make time to write this week. The past month of insanity is finally wrapping up, though: work has stabilized, I have a phone, car is functional, and my head is starting to screw on straight. I feel like I can start having long thoughts again.
I spent the weekend camping in a gulch near Mono Lake with a bunch of people who'd never met, trying to find a sense of community in the arid landscape. It was a great reset and a reminder that the Sierras are there if I want to make the drive. By default I tend to go to the ocean for respite, but there is a different kind of solace in sharing time with our granite giants.
I spent the weekend camping in a gulch near Mono Lake with a bunch of people who'd never met, trying to find a sense of community in the arid landscape. It was a great reset and a reminder that the Sierras are there if I want to make the drive. By default I tend to go to the ocean for respite, but there is a different kind of solace in sharing time with our granite giants.
I'm completely broke. My summer job pays minimum wage and the car repairs (and anticipated ones in the coming months) leave me high and dry. The drive out to the camp site cost me about $80 in gas, every dollar worth it, but I'm cutting it close. I have buffer, but only in the form of credit card debt or borrowing from friends and family. Everything gets more scrutiny for its cost when money feels this tight, of course, and I carry way more guilt for my desire to have fun. I still went to a music show on Friday ($16, not worth it), I still bought a donut today ($2, worth it). I desperately want to take a trip to Los Angeles but it is hard to spare a day.
This all is a component of me feeling pretty dumpy as of late. But I've been here before. Going surfing is never going to pay a dime, but I know I'll find an afternoon to sneak out, as time in the water helps me keep my belief in myself high, and that's worthwhile. In different terms, I'm achieving some of my major goals right now—I have, in some ways, my dream job. I've been reading a lot (compare 2019 to prior years!), reconnecting with friends, and seeing a lot of northern California. I'm taking stock of these aspects of life and otherwise trying to do what I know to get myself out of a funk: get enough sleep and focus on one thing at a time.
If you know of odd jobs around the Bay that can pay, please let me know. I love to move heavy stuff and cat-sit. I can only work in evenings, sadly.
Running on fumes,
Lukas