Learning to Find the Slow in the Fast (Extended Version)

My default speed is fast. I walk fast, talk fast, and learn fast. When a neurological assessment uncovered that my brain’s processing speed is in the 99.6th percentile, all of my speediness made sense. What didn’t make sense was the psychologist who administered the test concluded that I’m just a “naturally anxious” person and there was nothing they could do to help me. Since I didn’t accept that, I set out to figure out the nuances of how my brain works so I could not only work through my challenges but also double down on my strengths.

In relation to being an artist, this inherent speediness helps make pivoting when things aren’t working a bit easier. However the speed also tries to convince me that I need to pivot when things aren’t working fast enough. If you asked me what amount of time I would consider to be fast enough, I couldn’t tell you. It’s like my brain has a catalog for how long it takes most people to do things but won’t share it with me. When I work at a speed that it finds acceptable, it’s quiet. When something is difficult or time consuming, it’s very loud that I’m not working at the speed everyone else is. There’s no controlling it, there’s just finding tools to work around it. This makes building a solid business foundation difficult because I’m always feeling like I’m falling behind, even when I’ve just started. I tend to want to skip steps and move faster and that leaves me with a shaky foundation.