At the end of last month’s newsletter, I anticipated having a big reveal of what I’ve been working on, thinking that everything would be further along than it currently is. I have never once in my life estimated time correctly, and yet I still try to do it. If I think something will take 15 minutes, it’ll take 2 hours. If I think something will take an hour, it’ll take 5 minutes.

I very nearly skipped the newsletter this month because it didn’t make sense to me to send out an update that would basically amount to a gripe about waiting for supplies to arrive because Radio Shack no longer exists. However, for me, skipping things tends to be a slippery slope toward quitting them all together.

Instead of a progress update, I’m going to share something I came across that resonated with me and connected to what I’m working on.

A video came through my Instagram feed recently where the creator said, “You don’t feel ready because ready isn’t a feeling, it’s a decision.”

It’s a twist on “feel the fear and do it anyway,” a motivational phrase that I’ve never really cared for. It oversimplifies a complex emotion that exists to keep us safe.

What the phrase about readiness clarifies is that there’s rarely a scenario where fear dissipates into a feeling of assuredness. Fear is always going to be there, popping up at every potentially life-altering moment, even the ones that are fun. We have to decide whether it’s an important warning or just noise.

My fears with this new project have all been loud, incredibly frustrating noise. It’s the same noise that pops up whenever I start something new. The excitement of problem solving eventually gives way to the thought that I probably shouldn’t be doing anything until I’m a complete expert first, as if being an expert will somehow make me immune to forgetfulness or mistakes.

Looping back to my disappointment about the absence of Radio Shack, it took me awhile to order supplies because I didn’t want to order too little or the wrong thing. If I did, it meant spending another $6+ for shipping and waiting another 2–5 days; I couldn’t just run back to the store to get what I need. The fear of wasting time and money became overwhelming.

This whole month I’ve had to remind myself that I still have plenty of time to figure things out. I started early specifically to allow for things to go wrong and for my brain to go into panic mode like it always does. I’ve also had to make the conscious effort to look back on all of my previous scary decisions in the past 3 years as a refresher that none of them have lead to financial ruin.

If you’re not sure about making a big leap because you don’t feel ready, you’re not alone. Every day I have to make the decision to keep making progress, no matter how small, rather than waiting for everything to feel comfortable. If I were to do that, I’d be waiting forever.

As always, thanks for being here! Your support is greatly appreciated.

Until the next newsletter, be well!
Giesla

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