Parenting a teenager is hard. (I know that doesn’t really need to be said, but it is.) Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining about having a teenager, just acknowledging that the season of fixing a problem with ice cream has already passed me by.
There are plenty of things I absolutely love about having a teenager: inside jokes, independence, and the beautiful mix of clinging to childhood with one hand while grasping for adulthood with the other.
The particular heartbreak for me as a parent is that I can’t snap my fingers and solve the problems she brings to me anymore.
It’s hard to know what to say that will be helpful. It’s hard to know how much sleep she actually needs. It’s hard to be the bulwark against more screen time, a phone-sized computer in their pocket, and the constant phrase of “but I don’t want to.”
One thing that has been helping me recently is offering a better thought when I don’t have a solution, when I don’t know what to say, or when I’ve already answered the question for the millionth time.
Here’s a few examples of what I mean.
“I hate braces. I wish I didn’t have an expander.” Better Thought: “I know it’s so painful. You can do hard things with courage.”
“They didn’t include me. On purpose.” Better Thought: “I am so sorry you are hurting. You are so very, very loved by me.”
“I’m really worried about high school next year.” Better Thought: “It’s a big step, I agree. Lots of change, but I trust that God is for you and will twist everything for your good.”
“I’m the only one who doesn’t have a phone. Why can’t I get a phone?!” Better Thought: “I know you want that so bad. Your life is so full of good things.”
I have a little list of thoughts on a post-it note in my planner and I glance at them each morning. Memorizing them so that they roll off of my tongue. Giving a daily encouragement and re-frame.
It’s been helping. Not just her, but all my kids, too.
Here’s a list of a few more if you find yourself wanting to try this yourself this week.
Nothing has gone wrong.
All will be well.
There is no hurry.
It’s not hard, it’s just new.
You are taking such good care of yourself.
You are stronger than you think.
March Mix
I fell in love with these little seasonal collections last summer. They are the perfect way to have three curated, seasonal blends in my home without any fuss. All I have to do is add 5-7 drops to my diffuser. No mixing and matching. It takes all the guesswork out of it for a former candle-lover like me.
While I can also use these blends topically (or I love that it's a pre-made seasonal blend that I can just drop into the diffuser. It really is the easy button for me!
The Spring Collection includes: Fresh Linen (think fresh laundry on the line)
Spring Rain (think soothing sanctuary)
Tranquil Forest (think serene evergreen forest)
If you are wanting to grab a set for yourself, this link goes live when it’s on sale tomorrow morning!
During the month of March, if you are a new member and order this set, I'll send you a free diffuser! Send me an email after you grab yours and I’ll get you all set up!
Snippet from my week
Glimpse at middle school homeschool: this past week Lily and I started reading and discussing The Iliad for Classical Studies. Overall it’s been going well and is a sort of capstone for eighth grade! It’s been such a treat to get to read this kind of literature with her this year.
Thanks for reading! Do you have a “better thought” that you use on your kids or yourself? I’d love to hear it and be encouraged/inspired by you if you do! Just hit reply if you'd like to respond. (When you hit reply, your message goes directly to my email. It’s a private conversation between just us.) I read all your messages and try to respond, but not always in a timely manner. Sorry! And if you enjoyed this email, you’d be doing me a favor by forwarding it to someone else who might like it.