Saying Yes

When my kids were toddlers I heard an excellent parenting tip.

Say yes. As often as you can.

I can't remember where I heard that bit of advice, but it's served me well over the years.

The basic gist of this advice is that as a parent, you say no a lot.

"No. No, candy."

"No. No smartphone."

"No. It's time for bed."

"No. You'll hurt yourself."

You say no even more often when you have toddlers. The point is that if you choose to say yes to a few smaller things, your child will more easily accept it the next time you say no. It's also a way to surprise and delight your child. They expect to hear, "No" so when you get to say "Yes", they are genuinely thrilled.

When my kids were younger saying "Yes" looked like this:

"Sure. You can pick your outfit today."

"Yes. You can pick what you want for lunch."

"Yes. I would love to take you to the park today."

As my kids have gotten older the things I say no or yes to have changed. They are more responsible now and handle lunch, free time, clothing choice, all by themselves. They seem to more frequently ask for things that I can't, or won't give. I don't get to say "Yes" very often anymore.

Last year Clara and Theo asked for Santa hats during a weekly grocery shopping trip. They asked if I would buy them. I told them no. I doubted that they would wear them, and I didn't want yet another thing coming into our home for me to have to donate in a few months.

Right before we checked out they asked again and on a whim I said yes. Unlike what I had assumed would happen, they wore them everywhere last December.

A few weeks ago they dug them out again. They wear them everywhere: riding bikes, sleeping, during homeschool, and for all our Christmas outings. It’s the sweetest and has brought so much joy to them, to me, and to others as they see them being all jolly with their matching Santa hats.

Each year I wonder if this will be the last year that someone in our house believes in Santa and all the magic that the Christmas season brings to a smaller child.

I'm really glad I said yes.

Tis the Season

I'm not sure if it's like this where you live, but it seems that everyone near us has taken turns with the nasty cough/cold/fever that's been circulating around. ⁣ We've had it too.

While I wouldn't claim that oils make us never get sick, I do think that using oils has helped lesson the time that we've been sick. For this latest round of nastiness that has come home, ⁣this what I've used for better sleep at night:⁣ ⁣ ⁣ Thieves Chest Rub is fantastic at relieving chest aches, acts as a cough suppressant, and helps with stuffiness. I know it works well when my kids ask for it. They say that it gives immediate relief and they are able to take deep breaths again.

I love to add a drop or two of Pine to the Thieves Chest Rub! Pine is a heavier respiratory oil and so it can reach deep down into the lowest part of your lungs (where the yucky stuff tends to linger).⁣ I also love to add Pine to whatever I'm diffusing for that same reason. Usually respiratory oils only hit your upper respiratory track, but since Pine is so heavy it pulls everything deeper into your lungs where it can be most effective! ⁣ Here's a list of my favorite winter wellness products if you're looking to have some tools on hand the next time something unwanted comes home!

Snippet from my week

Last Friday night we went up to Newport Beach a few days before their boat parade. Many boats and waterfront mansions were already decorated for the parade. We enjoyed a boat tour up and down the harbor watching the sunset, looking at lights as it got dark, and then went out to eat at an Italian place that has been dubbed by my kids as “the best restuarnt ever”. Lots of wonderful memories. Full heart evening.

Thanks for reading! What's something you've said yes to recently? Just hit reply if you'd like to respond. (When you hit reply, your message goes directly to my email. It’s a private conversation between just us.) I read all your messages and try to respond, but not always in a timely manner. Sorry! And if you enjoyed this email, you’d be doing me a favor by forwarding it to someone else who might like it.