I can’t speak for other homeschoolers out there, but there’s a phrase I hear at least once a month thatI think is one of the biggest mistaken homeschooling assumptions out there.

Ready for it?

“How are your kids going to be socialized if they don’t go to school?”

Or a variation of that (since my kids do go to a brick and mortar school building once a week).

“Oh it’s good they go to school. That way they can have socialization.”

Let me preface this by saying chances are quite high (based on the number of times that I’ve heard a variation of this) that you’ve perhaps said something along those lines before. And if that’s the case this week’s newsletter is not meant to make you feel bad.

I can tell you I absolutely said something like this myself when I was a classroom teacher before I started homeschooling. (Insert foot in mouth.)

I think people often ask this question to homeschoolers because it’s an easy talking point. It is an assumption rooted in decades of “homeschoolers are weird, it’s probably due to lack of socialization.” If I were to guess, I would assume that people ask this question because they just aren’t sure what to ask homeschoolers about. So they pick something they’ve heard talked about before (from the news, a teacher, a personal story about one weird homeschool kid they knew in third grade, etc.) And they ask about socialization because that is the thing about homeschooling that they know: that some homeschooled kids are weird. It must be lack of socialization.

Maybe. Or maybe some kids are just “weird.” If you have kids at a school I am guessing your kids have come home before and mentioned someone else is “weird.” (Whatever that means.)

I’m sure extensive articles or chapters of books have been devoted to this topic of homeschooling and socialization. I’m sure you could read a lot on this topic, both good and bad. I thought instead I would simply share what I’ve seen in my own home (and also leave you with some other questions to ask homeschoolers the next time homeschooling comes up in conversation).

I have four kids. From the time that they were toddlers they were learning how to share toys. They would have arguments with each other. And then they would also apologize. And forgive. Figure out a compromise. And start over again. This has been modeled hundreds of times in our Christian home. This is socialization.

A normal part of childhood and child development is making friends and over the years my kids have made them. Friends from the neighborhood, from church, from co-ops, from youth group, from sports teams, from classes that they attend on campus, etc. Part of our homeschool day and week is spent out of the house. With friends! Most nights each week you can find my teen/tween FaceTiming their friends similar to like what I did in middle school (sorry family for hogging the dialup line). My younger kids love playing with the kids on their street on Saturday or after those kids get home from school. This is also socialization.

Since I realize that interacting with peers is an important part of anyone’s childhood, I have let that naturally be part of our daily and weekly routine.

The fun part is that when I see another mom with her kids at a park on a Thursday morning, or unloading her minivan next to mine in the beach parking lot on Friday at 12:30, we don’t have to ask if the other homeschools. We know. With over five million kids in the US now being homeschooled, it’s pretty normal to run into other homeschoolers “in the wild” so to speak. We smile at each other knowing that, once again, there are other kids that can be impromptu playmates for the day.

If you’ve asked about socialization because you didn’t know what else to talk about when it came to homeschool, here are some other questions you could ask a homeschooler the next time homeschooling comes up in conversation!

These are questions similar to what that homeschooling mom that I run into at the park or beach would chat about with me!

5 questions homeschoolers love to answer:

• We (are generally book loving nerds at heart and) love to talk about curriculum. Ask us what curriculum we are using and why we love it. We would love to share with you!

• There are different methods and philosophies of education. Chances are your child’s classroom teacher isn’t terribly interested in discussing educational pedagogy with you, but chances are quite good a homeschooler will be happy to talk your ear off (and her husband will thank you for the break) because she’s read books, tried out different methods over the years, and has lots of opinions on this. Ask us what kind of method of homeschool we use in our homeschool and why we picked it.

• Ask us what fun field trips/family trips we’ve planned/taken lately.

• Ask why they decided to homeschool and how long they have been homeschooling.

• Just like your kids will say, “Nothing, much” when asked what they learned at school, ours will too. To open up a conversation with a child who is homeschooled, ask what their favorite part of being homeschooled is.

If you give one of these questions a try the next time you chat with a homeschooler, let me know! I would love to hear how it goes.

Homeschool vibes

Generally we homeschool at our dining room table. On one of the side tables in the dining room is a diffuser and a tray of oils.

This month, our oils community is participating in a "Happy Hearts Challenge" which is a diffuser challenge, actually! And it's pretty simple, too. All you have to do is diffuse Bergamot each day.

While Bergamot was already an oil on my little tray, I've been diffusing it daily during homeschool hours since February 1st and I've noticed a few subtle shifts in all our moods.

Bergamot is a citrus-y smelling oil that is really uplifting (hence the "happy heart" name.) I've noticed that diffusing it during our homeschool day has created a more soothing undertone during hard subjects like Math or Latin. It's helped me keep my emotions more even. It's also a "brightening" oil which means it can help give a boost of energy. I've noticed that especially with my teenager who stays up too late.

Outside of the school day my older girls (and me) will use a drop of Bergamot on our wrists and across our hairline/temples for anxiety. I can literally feel the stress and overwhelm melt away when I do that!

If you are looking to add some more emotional support tools to your home, here's a list of my favorites!

Snippet from my week

We had a beach picnic (street tacos!) and when I turned around after loading up my taco this was my view. It was too sweet to not capture!

Thanks for reading! If you give one of these questions a try the next time you chat with a homeschooler, let me know! I would love to hear how it goes. Just hit reply if you'd like to respond. (When you hit reply, your message goes directly to my email. It’s a private conversation between just us.) I read all your messages and try to respond, but not always in a timely manner. Sorry! And if you enjoyed this email, you’d be doing me a favor by forwarding it to someone else who might like it.