Feelings!
Kia ora, folks!
So I had planned to just keep this space here for pop culture things and my fiction writing, but you’ll have noticed by the semi-frequent reruns and missed posts, that I maybe don’t have the energy to always keep up with the schedule I have set for myself. This is for a lot of reasons that I won’t get too deep into, but basically it’s a mixture of mental illness - depression, anxiety, and also physical illness. What I have specifically going on with me is outside the scope of what I wanted to write about here today, I just wanted to share some of the things that really help me when I’m just not having a good day. I hope some of these will help!
But before I get into this, I wanted to remind folks who’ve seen it before, and also let the newer folks know that I have a list of crisis hotlines and people you can get in touch with if you’re having a really hard time with things - you’re not alone, and there’s help available to you. Take care of yourself! 💚
Podcasts
I recently did a write-up recommending some of the podcasts I listen to a lot. I really like those shows for a lot of reasons, but one of the biggest ones is so I can feel like I have some parasocial interaction when I don’t have the spoons for actual social interactions. Podcasts are perfect for this, particularly ones with three or more hosts, because the constant back and forth between the speakers helps me feel like I’m a part of a conversation, without any of the real-life demands of having a conversation with three or four friends. My big favourite right now is The Vergecast, particularly their Friday/Saturday show, because it’s a lot of fun for me to listen to four very smart, very funny people talk about news in tech, while also having fun themselves - I laugh a lot listening to this show, and I think finding things to laugh at in life (that aren’t always yourself) can be extremely cathartic.
Music
This is one that I am honestly suuuuper bad at. I love music, and I pay for Apple Music almost every month so that I have it there when I need it, but I rarely remember to use it. It’s no secret that Taylor Swift and all her albums up to this point have changed my life in a lot of ways (I will never stop teling anyone who will listen that Speak Now saved my life), but she’s not the only one. Some really profound influences on my life also have chaged the way I feel, and think. Some folks like Alanis Morissette, when I first heard her at age 12, Ani DiFranco, when I was 18 and desperately trying to develop a personality that wasn’t “I smoke weed,” PJ Harvey, also from that era, Bic Runga, when I was in my 20’s and still trying so hard to figure out who I was, or much more recently Carly Rae Jepsen, HAIM, Phoebe Bridgers, and Gabrielle Aplin.
Whatever your music taste, if you’re feeling down and that life is hard, don’t forget that music exists! And if you’re not sure what you like, ask a friend! Or maybe check out some of the artists I’ve mentioned above. Here’s a quick little list of some recommendations:
Alanis Morissette - Sorry 2 Myself
Ani DiFranco - Overlap (specifically the version from Canon)
Bic Runga - Sorry
Carly Rae Jepsen - Boy Problems
Gabrielle Aplin - Home
HAIM - Now I’m In It
Phoebe Bridgers - Motion Sickness
PJ Harvey - Big Exit
Taylor Swift - Exile (ft Bon Iver)
XANA - Kitchen Light
Using your hands
This is something I am also really bad at. I love cooking, and I love scrapbooking and making tiny art projects that are just for me, but whenever I’m in a funk, the default is always videogames, or if its a really bad one, I just stay in bed and doomscroll. I try really hard to remind myself to do things off of a screen, or at least screen-adjacent like when I scrapbook, I am printing photos from my phone. But when I do manage to get around to doing something with my hands, something that involves like at least 33% less screen time, I do feel better.
Get a notebook and a nice pen and keep it with you as often as you can so if you think of something interesting or funny, or anything really, you can write it down. This is great for me personally, I get a lot of my story prompts that way. Or you could get a cheap printer (there are wifi-enabled ones if you don’t have a computer, you can just print right from your phone!) and find some cute or pretty pictures on Tumblr or Pintrest, print ‘em out and make something.
It can be hard, but it’s worth trying - and if you do try something, but it doesn’t click, don’t beat yourself up over it!
Stickers!!!!
If you already have a home printer, or can afford to buy a cheap one (in my experience, they are all pretty goo these days), get yourself some sticker paper and have a look online for some stuff you could use as a sticker. Below are some examples of what I’ve made in the past.
I’ll admit, the paper I got has a glossy finish and I don’t know if the matte would have made these any more durable, but I suspect that for a sticker printed this way you’ll probably want a laser printer, which can be pretty pricey, to prevent the colours from fading, rubbing or running - that said, the one on my laptop sits right under my wrist when I type and it’s still readable after several months, so your mileage may vary. The biohazard and radiation hazard signs were free from some website I found - if you’d like to know where I got them, let me know! I’ll figure it out for you. The SCP one was made by someone from Mastodon, but I’m pretty sure I still have the link (and if not, I have the image on my computer), so let me know if you want that one too.
Once again, that list of crisis hotlines and stuff is here if you need it.
Thanks so much for reading, y’all, I hope I said something that could be useful to you here. Regular Monday post going up tomorrow morning at 8am NZST. Ka kite anō au i a koe. 💚
- Rebecca