I regret to inform you that I've found the world's worst rodeo
And it's in Fort Worth.
It’s a grim Wednesday morning here in the Lost in Panther City HQ, and not just because it’s muggy and unpleasant outside as I write this. I’m feeling grumpy because the Cowtown Coliseum will soon play host to a pep rally and rodeo organized by far-right ideologues.
The America First Policy Institute — which calls itself a nonpartisan research organization but is in reality a policy arm of Trump’s authoritarian political movement — is bringing an “America First Rodeo” to the stockyards later this afternoon. As the Dallas Morning News reported this morning:
A Fort Worth rodeo on Wednesday will deliver a direct message to those in attendance: “America first.”
The event, sponsored by the America First Policy Institute, will mix traditional rodeo events, such as bull riding and barrel racing, with a conservative pep rally and country music concert.
Featured speakers include a who’s who of conservative leaders, from Vivek Ramaswamy, who ran an unsuccessful bid for the GOP presidential nomination before endorsing former President Donald Trump, to Kellyanne Conway, former senior counselor to Trump.
This is by no means a good thing. In fact, it’s embarrassing for Fort Worth and I encourage you to send angry emails to the Cowtown Coliseum or at least boo very loudly from wherever you are right now.
But unlike some people, I do not see this MAGA-themed rodeo as an indictment of cowboy culture as a whole. I’m thinking specifically of EJ Carrion, co-host of the 817 Podcast, who on this week’s episode (correctly) complained about the America First rodeo but (incorrectly) used its existence to generalize about cowboys as a whole.
I like the 817 Podcast and listen every week; their presence is a net benefit to Fort Worth, even if I don’t always agree with their commentary. But this is a galaxy-brained take for the ages and I just had to talk about it:
[The America First rodeo] is a loss because everyone in Fort Worth is not listening about the cowboy culture stuff. You think I’m joking, but it’s hard to sell Republicanism, it’s easy to sell that cowboys are cool. And so I’m not saying this is true across the world or across the country, but I believe our city — subconsciously and they know it — are using cowboy culture to push Republican propaganda, which is why I will never wear a cowboy hat, which is why I — when I work as a city commissioner — I do not wear my little longhorn pin because I will not support or wear any cowboy boots [or] go to any rodeo because this to me is the belly of the beast.
There is so, so much to criticize about Fort Worth’s romanticization of the Old West, including the fact that the Stockyards is a fantasy realm with little connection to the reality of Western history. I will continue to pound that particular gavel in this newsletter. But to suggest that rodeo and cowboys are inherently aligned with contemporary MAGA politics — and that symbolically rejecting them is a progressive stance — strikes me as extremely silly. I personally don’t wear a cowboy hat because I’m not a cowboy and don’t want to pretend that I actually know a damn thing about working with cattle. But the absence of boots from my wardrobe doesn’t make Fort Worth a better, more inclusive, more egalitarian place.
By the way, this is coming from someone who went to the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo and felt genuinely nauseated by the cloying patriotism of it all. I wrote this back in February:
“How about we fire about 75 percent of Washington D.C. and replace them with cowboys and ranchers, that'll get us back to where we need to be,” said an announcer before kicking off the high school scholarship rodeo, a perfectly normal setting for electioneering.
But that kind of explicit political sentiment was atypical. Mostly, the stock show hums with the low-grade nationalism that’s familiar to anyone who has ever attended a major sporting event — but with its own unique twists. No competition would be complete without the national anthem, yet most renditions I’ve ever stood through don’t have to also compete with the CLANG CLANG of broncs clattering around in their chutes.
And of course, there were the flyovers. But not real flyovers. We’re in Fort Worth, home of the Lockheed Martin product that’s somehow both “more than a fighter jet” and less dependable than your typical household appliance, so perhaps that’s why I didn’t get to see any actual planes.
Instead, the Dickies jumbotron would light up, a pre-recorded video of F-35s would go WOOSH, and the announcer would say, with no apparent irony: “That, ladies and gentlemen, was the sound of freedom.”
I hate this kind of thing! But I also recognize that, as conservative as cowboy culture can be, it’s not reducible to its worst, most visible form.
Ae we really going to pretend former Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway is more representative of modern cowboys than the folks who competed in the Texas Gay Rodeo this past weekend, an event that’s been running continuously for 40 years? Should we discard the reality that cowboys of color have always existed and, in many ways, have a far more legitimate claim to the Old West than white people?
I think not. Cowboy culture certainly isn’t perfect, but let’s not surrender it to the America First dipshits.
As far as I can tell, this is quite literally the America First Policy Institute’s first ever rodeo. They had to give away tickets for free because I’m sure they know even Fort Worth’s three die-hard Vivek Ramaswamy supporters weren’t going to pay to see him wear a cowboy hat. I’m not saying no one will show up. The Dallas Morning News is reporting that roughly 2,000 people are expected to attend.
But again: Tickets were free.