Five things on Friday #323
Things of note for the week ending Friday 18th February, 2022
INTRO
Hello hello.
Welcome to Five things on Friday.
First up, a spot of admin: There will be no Five things on Friday next week.
Week after, definitely. Next week, none. Taking some time off to play video games. February is insane. We covered this last week.
So after today, I’ll see you in March.
What else I can tell you?
It’s been a good week to check yo-self before you wreck yo-self. As the great philosopher, Ted Lasso, says: be curious, not judgemental.
Cool? Cool.
LET’S GET TO THE THINGS!
1. STARTING OFF WITH THE IMPORTANT STUFF* FROM THE SUPER BOWL
*Trailers! Not ads. Nothing has beaten It’s a Tide ad - and probably never will.
I think BOBA FETT finished (stand by what I said a few weeks ago: just watch episodes five and six; you don’t need anything else).
Then the trailer for NEW DOCTOR STRANGE dropped.
Featuring: Professor X! Zombies! New Iron Man! Illuminati! The British Museum!
And we got a teaser for OBI-WAN KENOBI (should’ve just called it KENOBI) in the shape of a poster.
Look, I know they completely fumbled BOBA FETT but THE MANDALORIAN is pretty great in places and I’m just hoping that seeing Ewan McGregor don the dressing gown once more will be… just amazing on its own? Maybe?
We can hope?
Also…
But the clear highlight for me was: NOPE. ‘What’s a bad miracle?’
Which reminds me of An Audience with Adele. Daniel Kaluuya was behind Bryan Cranston, his utterly gorgeous dark skin kept him hidden in the shadow and as he slowly lent forward to listen more intently, there was this incredible two-shot and I just wanted to see that film.
2. MUSIC IN ADVERTISING
This is a great little post from an old colleague of mine, Ed Hayne.
Ed’s a strategy director at Grey and put this one together to look at how music is, isn’t, should, and should not be used in advertising.
It has it all. Insight, mistakes, hippos*, niche data points, and above all else, respect for the craft.
*Hippos. Highest Paid Person’s Opinion. You should look out for them. They can be dangerous.
3. THIS WEEK IN… THE KITCHEN
No gaming section this week. What? I’ve got to mix it up from time to time.
At the time of writing this section*, it is hammering it down with rain outside. Storm Eunice (and Storm Dudley) have played havoc with the trains and I’m certain I’ll navigating my around fallen trees on my way to work tomorrow.
HOWEVER. In spite of the godawful weather outside, there are (believe it or not) small signs that Spring is on its way. There are daffs in the garden, gently pushing their first ankles of green above the soil, peeping up like organic telescopes, checking to see if there’s enough sunshine to start sending back down to the bulbs…
If you have the space (hell, even if it’s just a window box) soon it’ll be time to start planning what you want to grow this summer. Radishes and courgettes are permanent residents here, along with wild rocket, chili peppers, and possibly even some potatoes.
POINT IS. Whatever you’re growing out there (or even if you’re not) my favourite part of this time of year is that I dig out my vegetarian single tray bake recipe book and start flicking through some old faves to cook up something decent for the fam.
So this is a roundabout way to tell you that I’m excited about getting in the garden again at some point soon (and planning future food).
You should too.
Oh, and definitely get one of those single tray roasting tin books.
THEY’RE AMAZING.
That is all.
*Wednesday, 22:44.
4. THE SECTION THAT THIS WEEK WAS JUST GOING TO BE A SELECTION OF MY FAVOURITE METAMATES MEMES
Still might tbh.
OH. MY. GOD.
If word has failed to reach your ears that the company formerly known as Facebook, Meta, has recently and with the soulless eyes of a barely made flesh cyborg asked its 48,000 employees to start calling each other ‘Metamates’ then I am sorry to the one to break it to you: yes, it’s true.
And we’re not even at this week’s metaverse rage news yet.
Zucks argument is two fold. 1. It's similar to the Instagram one (flawed because that's already clumsy af). 2. They asked a clever dude (who later said that wasn't his first idea and he hates Facebook anyway).
Incred.
It's honestly the first time in a long time that I've almost felt sorry for my friends at Facebook. Almost.
Hilarious/hideous zuck stuff aside… WHAT NEWS THIS WEEK?
Here’s the news:
In the same week that somebody tried to tell me that SELENA GOMEZ BEING INTERVIEWED IN ANIMAL CROSSING WAS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF BRANDS STEPPING INTO THE METAVERSE (😭😭😭), I also sat through a(nother) presentation ‘introducing’ the metaverse. This one went like this:
Slide 1: “The metaverse is 5-10yrs away”.
45 slides later: “Actually, Metaverse is this Volvo Facebook ad”
(These are both real things that happened. In the real world)
I’m sorry what?
And then to my surprise (and by surprise, I mean bafflement) when reading Business Insider today, I spy this PHENOMENAL sentence:
“They [Meta] described AR, VR, and mixed reality as three distinct types of metaverses with, INSTAGRAM STORIES being the first example of the latter”
Ahhhh-hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah
'Right lads metamates, we’ve changed the company name and we’ve bet the farm on this metaverse thing and no one’s buying it. So from now on, literally anything we do will be metaverse, right? That photo of your gran on Instagram? Metaverse. The last message you sent on WhatsApp? Metaverse. You even so much as wish your ex high school girlfriend a happy birthday on her Facebook page? Metaverse’
Can you imagine having to go into a meeting with people (the same people who you told not so long ago to PIVOT TO VIDEO) and look them dead-eyed in the face to say ‘Instagram stories are metaverse’?
ELL to the OH to the ELL.
It’s nuts. And if you stand for it, you’re part of the problem. I’m serious. If you’re not calling this out - and calling it out LOUD - when you you see it, you’re going to go down with the eventual crash that will follow.
Look, if you’re new here, you should know that I am very excited about the future potential of interactive online worlds. I have online lives that already exist in these spaces - across platforms and games - already. I am a VR fan!
But this metaverse stuff? Right now at least? It’s snake oil. And as someone who works in an agency I have a strategic, creative, and fiscal responsibility to equip my clients with the information they need to ask better questions and make better choices to drive better results. And I am here to tell you, metaverse ain’t it.
Deep sigh.
This week’s additional Web 3 reading:
JP Morgan launched a version of its bank in Decentraland. Decentraland has a daily active user (DAU) count of about 18,000 people (not a typo). Literally, more people follow me on Twitter than log into this platform every day. Who is this for?
Bitcoin miners revived a dying fossil fuel plant - because of course they did. On this point, the people that argue against the environmental impact of this stuff genuinely amaze me. ‘Oh, well, that’ll be fixed soon’ - OK, so stop until it is?
This is arguably the most significant step towards a real metaverse this week.
FB/Meta’s own online world, Horizon, has hit 300k monthly active users (MAUs). Which is a nice way to say ‘Loads of people tried Horizon at Christmas’. I wonder why they didn’t publish the DAUs.
FB/Meta’s head of global community development has been fired.
Maybe I’ll stop writing about this at some point. I probably won’t.
Might do a brain-dump-as-presentation thing. Would that be useful? Let me know.
5. THE DISAPPROVAL MATRIX
This, from Ann Friedman, is great.
More.
BONUSES
Here to overload your tabs.
This video interview with Mark Ritson was quite good. I specifically liked his reference to there being lots of urine on the floor re: Marketing Twitter - agree, that's why I stepped away and decided to focus on doing the work, and talking about my passion instead.
THE END
A small wrap up this week because Horizon Forbidden West has arrived and frankly I just want to play it all weekend.
I’ll be back in two weeks.
See you soon, ok?
And remember: there’s no such thing as the metaverse.
Whatley out x