Cryptids Everywhere! ~ ExGld
Greetings Explorers!
Over the weekend we hosted our first ever Stuffed Animal Taxidermy workshop. We planned the event for a rainy month, just in case it was going to rain, and lo and behold it did! If you're interested to know what happened, I invite you to read the Captain's Report below and learn about some of the critters we now know.
Captain's Report: Stuffed Animal Taxidermy
The idea of a taxidermy workshop has been percolating in the back of my head for years, but 2024 finally felt like it was the right time to give it a go. The idea is simple, what if we could have physical manifestations of the wild creatures we encounter? After discussing the ethical concerns of doing traditional taxidermy on fantastic and (likely) endangered species, we turned to the idea of creating representations of the real thing. After building them, we would then have a salon where each explorer could present to the group the creature they made.
With the plan in place, we jumped to action. Throughout the day explorers, poked, prodded, sewed, felted, assembled, disassembled, and affixed all manner of items to their creatures. As the afternoon began to give way to evening, the chimeras came to life. Our salon featured experts from all walks of life, and we left with so much more knowledge than we began the day with.
Here are some of the creatures we met:
In the watery environs, there's the Pink Piranha, which primarily lives on rotting fruits and flowers. Unlike its more well known cousins, the pink piranha is toothless. The Pacific Kelp Ommeta has a plethora of eyes on its head, which help it evade predators. It also has a penchant for tourists who lose their string cheese in the water, and they make sure to "eat it correctly."
In the sky there's the Buck Toothed Cloud Hopper, which despite living in the sky it doesn't fly. Instead it hops from cloud to cloud (thus the origin of its name). It's also a bit territorial, so look for the tuft of hair on its head as the color will adjust according to its mood. In the sky you'll also find the Winged Gnawer. This creature wakes up early to feed on the dew drop laden lichen which may feel surprising due to the exterior jaw, but rest assured it won't drop down to feed on you. For that fear you'll turn to the Apple Bear (of the Granny Smith Apple Bears). These bears have camouflage to make them look like normal apples, which is ideal as their natural habitat are apple trees. When its prey is below them, they'll drop right on their head and devour them. While you're looking up at the trees you'll also want to search for the rare Puck Lion. This creature's mane looks just like a nest of robins, so when mother birds come to feed their nest, the puck lion is able to get its meal through a clever ruse.
If you're looking for cryptids in urban environments, you'll want to focus on specific regions and cities. If you're in New Orleans, there's the Fighty Fighty Bird, which has large claws and an even larger size variation. These birds collect bits of plastic to apply and distinguish themselves. If you're in Europe, you'll want to look in your local dance club for the European Chaos Goblin. It loves dance music and it too has tufts of hair which change according to mood. There's also a combination KFC/Taco Bell out there which housed Dr Rooster Cluckenstein. This is past tense as there has only been one such occurrence of this creature; it came to be due to a freak accident of a toxic waste truck which ran into a KFC/Taco Bell at the precise moment that lightning struck.
Lastly there's Buffalo Billinda and Alces Sweatidactyalciz... but for those stories you'll need to talk with the explorers who found them in the first place.
That's all for now dear explorers, be on the lookout for our next dispatch as we reveal the next more events on the horizon.
Semper Explorandum explorers!
-Dr Professor