shemini: seek wholenesses
sholem aleichem,
apologies for the lateness of this newsletter -- with pesach and multiple yamim tovim, i did not have time to write.
my word for this parsha is תְּמִימִם, from verse 2 of our parsha:
וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל־אַהֲרֹן קַח־לְךָ עֵגֶל בֶּן־בָּקָר לְחַטָּאת וְאַיִל לְעֹלָה תְּמִימִם וְהַקְרֵב לִפְנֵי יְהֹוָה
[moshe] said to aharon: “Take a calf of the herd for a sin offering and a ram for a burnt offering, without-blemish/תְּמִימִם, and bring them before haShem"
jps has translated תְּמִימִם here as "without blemish", though to me תְּמִימִם is more of a positive than negative quality. the singular תמים can mean "whole/complete", so we might literally translate תמימם as "wholenesses". it is in the plural, here, grammatically referring to both the calf for the sin offering and the ram for the burnt offering as being whole/sound/complete.
as far as i can tell, תְּמִימִם only appears in the torah in the context of describing offerings -- korbanos, drawings-close -- to hashem. "being whole/תמים with hashem" is, incidentally, a mitzvah (one that alexandra rose kohanski argues may obligate trans people in transition. read her teshuvah.)
while the masculine plural תְּמִימִם describes offerings, the feminine plural תְּמִימֹת appears in the torah in another context, that of the "complete" or "whole" weeks we count in the omer:
וּסְפַרְתֶּם לָכֶם מִמׇּחֳרַת הַשַּׁבָּת מִיּוֹם הֲבִיאֲכֶם אֶת־עֹמֶר הַתְּנוּפָה שֶׁבַע שַׁבָּתוֹת תְּמִימֹת תִּהְיֶינָה
And from the day on which you bring the sheaf of elevation offering—the day after the sabbath—you shall count off seven weeks. They must be complete/תְּמִימֹת
just as תְּמִימִם refers to sacrifices, to drawings-close, תְּמִימֹת also refers to a drawing-close: the process of coming closer to hashem as we count the omer in preparation for shavuos and revelation.
the plural is a grammatical artifact: "weeks" is plual, so "completes" is plural. but it also reflects the fractal nature of the omer count: each day is a whole, each week is a whole, the entire omer is a whole. we bless each day of the omer as its own whole. but if we skip a day, we can't pick up the blessing again without fracturing the whole of the week, of the omer itself.
(a friend of mine once taught me to not worry about missing a day. if you miss a day, he said, it is a sign that the aspect of that day is the one you need to explore for the rest of the omer.)
indeed, our original word, תְּמִימִם, has the same gematria as לדרוש -- to seek, to inquire. our torah portion famously contains this same root twice at the exact middle of the torah scroll "דרש דרש". the heart of the torah is this: keep seeking.
תְּמִימִם also has the same number as צררים: narrownesses.
narrownesses and wholenesses are two sides of the same coin. and what draws us from one side to the other is the process of דרש, of seeking. ever deeper, ever higher, ever closer to haMakom.
keep seeking friends. today is ten days of the omer, which is one week and three days: the beauty of discipline.
זִרְעוּ לָכֶם לִצְדָקָה קִצְרוּ לְפִי־חֶסֶד נִירוּ לָכֶם נִיר וְעֵת לִדְרוֹשׁ אֶת־יְהוָה עַד־יָבוֹא וְיֹרֶה צֶדֶק לָכֶם
sow seeds for yourselves of charity,
and reap to feed the mouth of lovingkindness.
plow for yourselves fallow ground:
it is time TO SEEK hashem
until he comes and rains justice for you
shavua tov,
ada