Greetings, friends. (XXX)

Greetings, friends. Super Bowl weekend has come and gone, and it was full enough that I had to burn a couple streak freezes… But, as we say, don’t let a slip become a slide.

The Super Bowl itself was everything we’d all hoped for right up until the final two minutes. For those of you who didn’t watch because you don’t care, I’ll tell you what happened: The Chiefs and Eagles had been engaged in a pretty epic shootout, with the game tied and the Chiefs in scoring position, but with just enough time on the clock for the Eagles possibly to come back and tie it up or win in the final seconds.

Until the Eagles’ defensive back Bradbury grabbed Chiefs wide receiver Smith-Schuster momentarily by the jersey in mid-play, and the refs called a holding foul.

Now, this was both the right thing and the worst thing possible at that moment. On one hand, by the strictest interpretation of the NFL’s 88-page rule book, Bradbury’s action was worthy of a 5 yard penalty, plus an automatic first down.

On the other hand, this call effectively gave Kansas City the victory, by providing them enough plays to run the clock nearly to zero. On the next play, Chiefs running back Jerrick MacKinnon deliberately grounded the ball at the 2 yard line rather than score a damn touchdown, so that they could waste a few more seconds, before letting their kicker score the winning field goal, with almost no time left on the clock.

Watching MacKinnon give up and choose not to score a touchdown was absolutely heartbreaking. It was the right thing to do for the Chiefs to do and also the most boring thing possible.

Rather than an exciting nail-biter of a finish to a thrilling game, we had an ending implicitly ordained by the referees as soon as the yellow flag was thrown for Bradbury’s hold. I almost threw something at the television.

It’s not that Bradbury wasn’t technically holding Smith-Schuster. Even Bradbury admitted after the game that he thought he had committed a foul on the play.

It’s that the referees hadn’t once called that penalty in any of the half dozen or even dozen plays in which a defensive back on either team had done the same thing earlier in the game. It’s illegal but not an uncommon practice in NFL play. Sometimes the holding is egregious and interferes with the receiver’s route, but in this particular case, you watch the replay and it’s not clear the even Smith-Schuster noticed that his jersey had been tugged.

To choose that moment to make an example of Bradbury and thus decide the game was both the right thing to do and also the worst possible thing. It’s entirely possible that the Eagles could’ve put together a scoring drive with a minute left on the clock. It’s equally possible that they might not have. The Eagles had already had a stout lead at halftime and they’d blown it.

It’s just that everyone in the world who was watching, and who wasn’t a Chiefs fan, deserved to see a game that was decided by the talents of the players and not the whims of the referees.

The result was an anticlimactic and unsatisfying ending to an otherwise classic game — not to mention an entire season of professional football — that provided all the excitement of a bottle of flat soda pop.

As fans of the game, we might just have to accept the possibility that NFL officiating can never be anything other than inconsistent. The rule book is 88 pages, after all. I don’t envy the refs their job.

Oh well. I think we did already establish that the NFL is terrible. Raise your hand if you won’t be watching Super Bowl LVIII. Yeah, I thought so. Roger Goodell knows it and that’s why he’ll still be commissioner next year, instead of someone who respects the game and puts player safety first and isn’t a money-grubbing toady. Sigh.

No, the real winner of the game was Rihanna fans everywhere. That lady sang and danced her heart out on national TV while obviously pregnant. I will never do any one of those three things, so she has my respect.

I can’t complain. Jeanne threw a great party, made some great food, and I got to see Brent and Headra and Joy and Flynn, and we got to celebrate Jeanie’s birthday. Also, thanks to Mikki, I got to surprise Yoz at brunch for his birthday. So happy birthday to Jeanie and Yoz!

I also made some headway on the motorcycle. More about that tomorrow, maybe.

If you’re reading this, I send you my love. Ceterum censeo pro vigilum imperdiet cessandam est, and fire Goodell too while we’re at it. ¡Hasta mañana!