Do you even lift, bro? đź’Ş
🌎 The Big Topic: How I Gave Into the Gym
I turned 40 last month. It’s a milestone birthday that I celebrated a few times over the course of the month in Palm Springs, Calif., and back home in D.C.
I started going to a gym a few months ago and I’m now in the best physical shape since my early 30s— I daresay ever. This fact ameliorates any anxiety about inevitable physical decline that a milestone birthday naturally elicits.
Careful readers will be surprised because in a May issue, I derided the gym:
I loathe gyms because they combine physical stress with the mental boredom that comes from mindless repetition. I worked out at the U Street Vida gym ten years ago and don’t fondly recall the monotony of staring at the concrete ceiling above the weight room or glaring at the fire station across the street.
In late August, I reversed course (“ate crow,” as one friend declared) and signed up for— you guessed it!— the U Street Vida gym. So far I have worked out for 42 of the 61 days of September and October. Given my previous discomfort, I developed a few strategies to sustain my motivation in a healthy way, but still haven’t fully addressed some psychological discomfort.
I let an app tell me what to do 🤳
I use a workout app that tells me what to do each session, combining different weights and equipment. The mix makes the workouts more interesting, even if I sometimes end up searching the gym for some new machine like a botanist searching a rainforest for a rare flower.
I remind myself it’s not a competition
When resting between sets, I sometimes catch glances at the other people working out, which is inevitable in a crowded gym. I see their faces, sometimes exhausted and pensive, staring in the mirrors, and I think about the following passage from an essay I mentioned in September:
None of [the other men at the gym] were looking at me or at anyone; they were all looking into those inescapable mirrors. And their expressions, as they looked, were not the preening once-overs of self-satisfaction that I assumed were their earned right. I recognized their furrowed brows and skeptical grimaces because they were my own. No matter how built they were or how much they were lifting, each man seemed to be in private, dubious and slightly unhappy conference with himself, as both judge and defendant. Nobody was entirely what he wanted himself to be.
I remember this passage so I don’t become envious of the physical accomplishments of the other people working out. It’s quite possible they are dissatisfied with themselves and I don’t want to step onto a perpetual treadmill of dissatisfaction. It’s important to find a point in my progress to declare victory for myself. I’m in competition with my former self, not anyone else.
I admit the benefits come with costs
I’ve noticed a few changes in my body: more defined muscles and greater ease running to catch a train, climbing stairs, squatting to pick something up, etc. My metabolism sped up and now I sweat more when I sleep.
There are a few downsides. The obvious one is that I have to invest so much of my time in this endeavor. Another is that I’ve had to adjust my diet to consume protein even when I’m not hungry. Normally I only eat one meal each day, so adding a protein shake and deliberately choosing high-protein foods for that one meal has been an unwelcome lifestyle change.
But I can’t shake the cynicism
I definitely feel better about my physical appearance and this has made me more confident. However, I’m not convinced it’s healthy for parts of my confidence and self-esteem to depend on the state of my body.
This is where I worry about the bleaker side of fitness culture. How much of working out is driven by vanity and body image insecurities that are themselves driven by cultural expectations of a person’s value being tied to their appearance?
Does working out mean I’m giving in to this toxic culture, admitting defeat, and tacitly affirming that yeah, looks matter and they matter a lot? It may not be the way the world should work, but I would be naïve to pretend it doesn’t work that way.
I don’t have an answer to these questions and I’m not even sure my premises are entirely correct. Maybe I’ll think it over in the steam room. 🧖‍♂️
📣 What do you think? Hit reply and email me! 📬
đź“ş The Screen
Heartstopper (Netflix)
The third season of this Netflix series follows boyfriends Nick and Charlie as they encounter family drama, confront psychiatric challenges, and receive uplifting care as they finish high school in southeastern England. Other storylines cover each letter in the LGBT rainbow, including asexuality.
🤓 Review: Vanity Fair
Back to Black (Amazon)
This overly-panned dramatic biopic follows the life of British singer-songwriter Amy Winehouse, whose addictions ended her life in 2011 at the age of 27. Actress Marisa Abela, who’s also in Industry, capably plays Winehouse and closely matches her singing style and voice. While the movie portrays Winehouse sympathetically, some critics say the movie was too easy on the men in her life who failed to save her from destructive addictions.
🤓 Reviews: The Independent | Variety
👇 FUTURE SHOCK 👇
Anora (in theaters)
This film, now in theaters and which won the Palme d’Or at Cannes earlier this year, follows the rags-to-riches tale of a sex worker who hastily marries the scion of a Russian oligarch. I’m hoping to see it next week in theaters.
🤓 Reviews: New York Magazine | The Atlantic
đź“ş Watch the trailer đź‘€
🚶‍♂️ Wandering in Washington and beyond
I visited Miami in early October for work and got a chance to visit the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens and the murals in the Wynwood neighborhood.
I visited California for one of my 40th birthday celebrations. The first stop was San Francisco, which I had not visited since 2017. It remains as beautiful as ever.
Since I was a teenager I have admired the beauty of the Golden Gate Bridge, the orange Art Deco majesty completed in 1937. On this trip, I rented an electric bikeshare from Fisherman’s Wharf, biked over the bridge, up the Marin Headlands, and the back down to Sausalito, Calif., where I boarded the ferry back to San Francisco’s Embarcadero.
Though I visited San Francisco briefly, I got to visit some friends I hadn’t seen in a long time.
I put my zoom lens to use and got some great long-distance shots in a city known for its expansive views.
San Francisco is notorious for its microclimates, with yawning changes in temperatures and fog cover across the city at any time. Downtown, pictured in the previous four photos, is sunnier and warmer. The western side of the city is foggier and chillier.
I was able to catch a warm sunset on the city’s western shore.
Some friends traveled to join me to celebrate my birthday in Palm Springs, Calif., a desert city 100 miles east of Los Angeles. One day we drove from Palm Springs to the stunning Joshua Tree National Park.
I wore some new sunglasses I affectionally call my “stupid glasses.”
I finally returned to D.C. as the leaves were changing and Halloween traditions approached.
I ran in the 37th Annual High Heel race, an annual D.C. spectacle in which men (well, mostly men) in drag don high heels and race down 17th Street the Tuesday before Halloween. I purchased some three-inch heels, put on a wig, golden overalls, and a crown, and bolted down 17th Street.
What a way to turn 40!
🛫 Future Travel
🇲🇽 México City
A friend is having his birthday in México City early next year and I’m planning to go, given I haven’t visited the place in 20 years. I remember the sprawling anthropology museum and pyramids of Teotihuacán. I’m also looking forward to the restaurants people seem to rave about.
🇳🇴 Norway and 🇸🇪 Sweden
Another friend is turning 40 next year and is celebrating it by traveling through Europe for an entire month. I wish I could spend that much time there, but alas, I don’t have the vacation time, so I have narrowed it down to
🛬 Bergen by plane via Copenhagen. Then taking a five-hour ferry ride through a fjord to…
⛴️ Flåm, a hamlet often dwarfed by massive cruise ships. From there, I’ll ride a scenic railroad up a mountain valley, connecting at the top to the train to…
🚞 Oslo, Norway’s capital, where I will join Tom and his father. Then onward to the final destination of…
đźš… Stockholm, home of ABBA and flat-pack furniture.
đź”— Assorted Links
📝 Be careful what you wish for: A bar dedicated to “politics” opened up on U Street and quickly encountered a ferocious political backlash. (The Wash) … Do steakhouses have a Republican tilt? (Washingtonian)
📝 Will DC’s New Streatery Rules Make Them Less Controversial? Eating outdoors will soon look very different. (Washingtonian)
đź“ť The Shaw Skate Park attracts skateboarders from around the region. (Washington Post)
📝 From your butt to the bus: Methane from sewage will power transit buses in Montgomery County, Md. 💩🚽🚌 (WTOP)
📝 Revenge of the Office: Many of America’s corporate executives have had enough of the remote-work experiment. (The Atlantic)
📝 A Radical Approach to Flooding in England: Give Land Back to the Sea: When a huge tract of land on the Somerset coast was deliberately flooded, the project was slammed as “ridiculous” by a local lawmaker. But the results have been transformative. (New York Times)
📝 Knocking on the door of the Golden Girls and Home Alone: A new documentary explores what it’s like to live in a house made famous by a movie or TV show. (New York Times)
đź“ť Canadian government going ahead with high-speed rail between Quebec City and Toronto: Trains to reach speeds of up to 300 kph (185 mph). (CBC)
📝 How “Industry” Made Prestige TV for the TikTok Era.
But it doesn’t quite look or act like what we’ve come to expect from the genre. (New Yorker) … On the “Industry” Season Finale, Father Knows Best. (New Yorker)📝 Riot of the doppeltwinks: Actor Timothée Chalamet caused a stir when he showed up to his own lookalike contest. (GQ)
🎬 The Wrap
Rolling Stone interviewed Stevie Nicks, the singer-songwriter best known for singing for Fleetwood Mac. The interviewer asked her about her social media use and Nicks, 76, recounts an interaction with she had with pop singer Katy Perry, 40 (born two days after me!):
[Interviewer:] Is there internet on your iPhone?
[Nicks:] It isn’t connected, it’s just a camera.[Interviewer:] I’m envious of that.Â
[Nicks:] I hate it. About 10 years ago, Katy Perry was talking to me about the internet armies of all the girl singers, and how cruel and rancid they were. I said, “Well, I wouldn’t know because I’m not on the internet.” She said, “So, who are your rivals?” I just looked at her. It was my steely look. I said, “Katy, I don’t have rivals. I have friends. All the other women singers that I know are friends. Nobody’s competing. Get off the internet and you won’t have rivals either.”
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Header image: People in the Sun. Edward Hopper, 1960.