YOU know best (AND FREE STUFF!!)
You are your own healer. If you just want to see the FREE STUFF then skip to the bottom :-)
I was having a chat with Beth, my wife the other day about this. I was in a situation recently where someone called me a healer. "A healer", I considered, chest starting to puff up a little, my mind starting to fill up with a measurable idea of how important I might be. "A healer", I thought to myself, as, in my imagination I treated queues of people with a barely imperceptible touch of my healing forefinger. "Wow! I'm a healer." The moment was short lived as Beth put it in such a great way that helped ground me again: "you're not a healer, but, by doing what you do, you can help others to heal themselves. In other words, they are the healers because they choose to heal themselves." Exactly, I couldn't have put it better myself. In fact, while I was there grappling with my ego, considering assigning myself the title 'healer' what Beth said felt waaaay more true.
And while I was there being grateful about not having to don the cloak of 'healer' I thought a little about what we do, as humans. We put the clergy up there, the doctor, the teacher, the master of some discipline or another. We put people on a pedestal and then look to them for relief from our suffering. I've been there! The Tony Robbins's the Dalai Lamas, people who have very obviously mastered some cool shit they feel obliged to share. and that's great. But neither Tony Robbins nor the Dalai Lama know what your life is like, what goes on in my mind, how another person feels. And when we put the responsibility for our happiness in a figurehead; a healer, a spiritual guru, we are, in a sense, getting further away from ourselves. Of course, there's a point to the figurehead, as an example, as someone to look up to but they are only humans, with their own 'stuff' going on. They just did some training and exploring I hadn't done.
I saw this in myself. I saw the years of confusion and jealousy I went through, thinking others had 'worked it out', feeling jealous of other people and their success whilst wanting that for myself. I still catch myself pondering material wealth, such is the nature of powerful social conditioning! But that's all it is, conditioning! In the same way I felt for so long that my mental health was not something I could do anything about, as if someone or something else would fix me. But that was just not true! I had conditioned myself to think I was broken. And yes, I do keep saying this, but only cos I have to remind myself too! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HEALING AND HAPPINESS. Only you can do it. YOU have to take charge. And it's a rocky road AND it will feel like it's not working AND at times it will confirm all your doubts and fears. But for me it's been so much better than the misery I used to regularly feel. It's growth, it's aliveness, it's freedom, until it isn't again. And then the cycle starts over.
Other Stuff
I always have a lot of stuff going on, whether it's books I'm reading, directions I'm pursuing, parts of myself I want to understand more or whether those things are all the same thing, I have an active mind. I am certain now it's what people call ADHD and that particular thread was sparked off by some very deep, synchronistic experiences I recently had. One of which was having to listen back to the audio version of my book my friend Sam engineered for me, to check it for any errors. In so doing I realised that I was very clearly telling the story of an ADD person; all my perceived struggles and failures, not being able to fathom other people as a child and just wanting to say the right thing then feeling like I was failing miserably at being a friend, not being able to find a path or career in life which felt supportive and 'fitted' me, feeling like I wasn't who I was supposed to be, depression, procrastination, doubt, doubt, doubt, anxiety, yada, yada. There were lightbulbs going off in my head all the way through this relistening! "Holy shit" I was thinking, "ADD!"
In a way I had written a book about one person's ADD struggles without even realising it. It's the biggest reframing exercise I've ever had to do, but it's such a cool thing. I'm sure it will continue for years to come. The whole ADD thing has taken me to a new depth of self-compassion and I've gone from being "I don't need a label" and "don't try to pin me down with a diagnosis" (which is what I've been saying to Beth for a while now, as she's been hinting at it, especially since my sister became an ADHD coach!). On the contrary, I've gained a whole lot of perspective, I'm way kinder to myself and I feel even more grounded. I am more willing to look after myself and I now see that my insights and musings and rambling are part of that. But I love all of that so I'm celebrating it more!
FREE STUFF
"I’d love to do the mindfulness course and am so grateful for your kindness. I know you’re offering your courses for free or whatever people can pay. You are extremely generous and maybe a little mad. In a nice way obviously 
"
This is a quote from someone who signed up for my mindfulness course and I love it! I love that this person is willing to do a course with a mad person (better than healer, eh?) but also is going for it and making that choice to do it! Fantastic!
What I'm offering here is support. Things are slow in my work right now, granted, and lots of people in well being work are in the same boat. I'm not going to hide that, but I'm not letting that stop me from doing what I love. I would rather do it for free or donations and get work elsewhere than give up on what I love. And so that's what I'm doing.
I'm doing this because I LOVE it and I get a lot from sharing these things.
So, tell your friends, invite your lovers to learn some cool stuff that might be the beginning of an amazing exploration into consciousness, conditioning and starting to look at things differently.
THIS! https://endless-river.org/mindfulness-training/ and
THIS https://endless-river.org/meeting-your-nature/
are now FREE or pay what you feel. There is literally NOTHING, apart from perhaps your own doubts and fears (which have served their purpose and are just acting out now, seriously) standing in your way (unless you are unavailable Wednesday and Thursday nights, of course! But even that could be changed if you really wanted it to!) of learning some cool things.
My wish for your well being and inspiration and movement and variety in you life
Alan 07421 294 194