What is meaning meaning?
Meaning making is our favourite pastime. Would you agree?
We explore meaning, we ride meaning up and down our moodwaves. This is how I see it.
But what is meaning? We generally have an attachment to something that we call 'meaningful', as in "I'm looking for something meaningful." We generally only apply the word 'meaning' when something we consider 'positive' or 'good' is happening.
I think everything we do is meaningful, i.e. full of meaning. Meaning is the lubricant of experience, it allows us to feel something about what we're doing, like a bunch of reference points which somehow make us feel like we're on the 'right' track. Or in the 'wrong' place.
The thing with meaning is that it changes all the time. With every experience we have. A couple is buying a house and the day they are having one final viewing, a robin lands on the gate outside this new house and the pretty little bird sings emphatically to them for a minute then flies away. They are both stunned by this. They have the viewing and go to a cafe afterwards to talk about it. But all they talk about is the bird. One of them is amazed and excited at the beautiful sign being shown, a beautiful robin welcoming them, and the other is totally freaked, seeing the singing robin as an omen of disaster!
So which one is correct?
Meaning is situation dependent and person dependent. It is a way to make a decision about where we go, what we do next and whether something is right or wrong, good or bad. We literally follow meaning up the ladder to success and down the ladder to despair. Meaning paves the way every time. We look for signs that what's happening is correct and we literally create our reality by putting meaning on things which inherently have no meaning.
A bird on a gate is a bird on a gate! Absolutely meaningless. It's us that makes it mean something. In that example you may have found yourself taking sides, deciding who's right and maybe even holding that position with conviction. You might have seen a man and a woman, a same sex couple, maybe. And you'd be right. It was a same sex couple - of badgers! Male. So you were all wrong.
But that's not the point!
The point is we are meaning-making-machines. We create 'my reality' - the only reality is the reality you create, you can only see the world through your eyes and your experience and the ONLY thing that is actually TRUE is that you have your own thoughts and ideas and that they are true for you. Your meaning.
Any of course we then try and share meaning with others, some people will like it, some will not like it. The way I see it meaning is not a barometer for how to live. In fact meaning takes us away from the experience of what's happening, clouding it with questions like "is this the right thing?" "am I doing ok?", "am I good enough?"
So I ask you to look at the meaning you are giving situations in your life. Meaning can be helpful and unhelpful. Meaning can take us down and lift us up. But we can't rely on it because it changes like the weather. One day you might feel fine and the next day you might feel shit. What does that mean? That you're inconsistent? Unreliable? Useless? Open? Surprising? Unfathomably amazing? It says that you have a body and a mind. The body influences the mind. When we don't feel ok we have a 'bad day'. When we feel ok we have a 'good day'. So much is dependent on our daily moodometer. It's knackering, right?
There's beauty in all of this and our minds create the reality we are habitually drawn towards by the meaning we add to situations.
Is there a place in your life where you want to change the meaning you give things? If so, the first step is to listen to the meaning that's not serving you. Just stop and listen to it. It's more than likely a habit. Ask that meaning what it wants.
And yes, this is me putting meaning on meaning and what I'm trying to do is put a meaning on something which makes it a bit more transparent, so perhaps you can share my meaning in this situation. My only goal is to increase awareness of what's happening so that, eventually, we can do something about it when the meaning is dragging us down.
So it's not about the shitty things that are happening in the world, it's about the meaning WE create around events and circumstances. It's our meaning. My meaning and therefore my responsibility.
I want to know what happens when you confront your own meaning. Let me know!
Next time I'll share about how to be ok with your own moodiness. It's a work in progress!