so mean
You’ve probably heard the story of the little boy who sees the monster standing in his bedroom staring at him. He shouts for his mammy, who comes and turns the light on. The monster then becomes a harmless coat, hanging on the back of the door.
I’ve heard this one many times in many different ways and I get it. It’s about fear. It’s about meaning. It’s about getting help.
The world is how you see it. And in the same breath, the world is not what it seems.
Meaning is something that fascinates me. We talk about something that is meaningful. “ I want a meaningful life!” Well, that’s easy! Everything can be made to mean something. Equally, everything is meaningless.
For me it’s about the quality of the meaning that’s applied and when I say quality I’m pointing to the idea that when we say ‘meaningful’ we are probably referring to meaning that is useful to us, that serves us in some way. This weekend away with my family has bonded us together and helped us see where we can be more patient and kind. We might call that meaningful. Here’s another meaningful way to interpret the same thing. This weekend away with my family was so stressful and overwhelming, I think I am more tired than I was before we set off on this supposed ‘break’.
Also meaning.
So meaning is an interpretation we give something after it has happened. Meaning is not part of something or something that exists in the universe - we make it up! No meaning is true or correct, as we can see, but for me, having meaning that feels enriching is far more useful that meaning that’s draining. I’ve heard it’s about being in the ‘alpha’ brain wave state. In other words, feeling calm about something rather than anxious about it.
So I guess what I’m saying is be aware of how you interpret things. It’s easy to call someone a twat when they appear to be acting rudely but how does that actually affect you? This stuff happens every day, to every person and it’s an ongoing, meaning making mess much of the time!
I see those thoughts appear and sometimes I’ll buy into it for a moment but sometimes I’ll see that it’s just bullshit and will only make me feel tense. It’s ongoing, there are multiple opportunities to learn from this stuff every day!
So, because meaning is almost always applied, can we take a step back from it, before we daub something with red meaning paint? “How will I feel if I get caught up in this?“
And if you can steer clear of meaning completely, please do.
It is possible to just have experiences and not judge them or find any meaning in them. There’s nothing wrong with not having an opinion on something - we’re flooded with opinion in this world, drowning in others’ meaning, never mind our own.
I’m a fan of alpha wave meaning. Sounds well pretentious but that’s me , I spose! Pretentious and cheesy. I just can’t be arsed to be bothered by things any more. That doesn’t make me indifferent to what’s going on but maybe I can conserve energy until I actually need it, instead (that’s the theory anyway! Sounds great!). I look at facebook and see the amount of energy created by meaning, by people’s tension and energy-sucking meaning-defending.
In conclusion, meaning is a minefield. It’s personal, it’s based on emotional connection, which is entirely personal and therefore it is only really relevant to the person who is experiencing it and nobody else.
We do have to train our children to be discerning about this stuff, by the way! I definitely see it as my responsibility to help them get clear on that stuff
What do you think?
have a good one!