in sight, in mind
Insights - what life is about, for me.
Throughout history we have been searching for meaning in life and with the way life is right now, we in the West live in a privileged and wealthy society.
We have many choices open to us at all times - we can destroy ourselves or open ourselves up - it's all there for the taking. I use 'destroy' and 'open up' as opposites in the same way as I might use stagnation and growth as opposites.
For me to find meaning from life I have to keep growing. And what is growth? To me growth is insight, it is shining a light into dark corners, being the detective of my own inner experience. When I look within I see the complexity of my inner world, and I have a passion to explore that complexity, to unearth, to unravel, to expand. That is growth, to me.
Recently I have been looking at anxiety again. It is such a deep subject. It can show itself in many subtle ways, from how I react to something that is said to me, to the way I sit, or how I dress. Our world is so often made up of little rituals and ways we use to feel safe and ok. And that's fine. It's fascinating, in fact! We are hugely complex, beautiful beings, with our idiosyncrasies - our little ways - that make us unique and attractive (and sometimes annoying!) to the people around us.
I like to remind myself to celebrate how I am, to not try to change anything, but to just be aware of what might be calling the shots, at a deeper level. Because sometimes we do have behaviours that we find we're not enjoying, things we feel we would like to change or even escape from, just for a short while! This is all part of the beauty of who we are. Anxiety is a very human thing, but it is an addictive thing. It's a survival thing, a deep thing and when we are tapping into it, often it can feel overwhelming. But it is our way of finding safety - the anxiety being the warning of danger. If we are aware of an anxiety addiction, that can be enough to start to soften and release it. To explore it further. This is the healing journey. It's something, in my opinion, we can all be open to. For me, it is a huge area of growth and insight.
I have to be careful what I indulge. If I get stuck in anxiety it can take hold. But I also tell myself that this is a habit. Anxiety is kind of akin to part of our firmware, like an app (firmware definition here: software that provides basic machine instructions that allow the hardware to function... Firmware provides low-level control for a device's hardware). "Low-level control" - those three words describe anxiety perfectly. We want control of our experience of life. But we also fight against that.
This is why I do what I do
Every course I run and write, in fact every piece of writing I do is based upon the premise that some insight will be gained, either by me or someone else. I want to open up to the meaning beyond the borders of the limitations we set ourselves. Where do you go for your meaning?
https://endless-river.org/mindfulness-training/ Next course starts Wednesday 2nd November, 6-8pm. Running till 21st December
https://endless-river.org/meeting-your-nature/ Next course starts Thursday 10th November, 7.30 - 9pm. Running till 15th December
I'm not saying that the courses I run have any answers, but they will help you ask some amazing questions and you will definitely start to see your world in a different way, if that's what you want.
Step outside your routine and view the world a little differently, that is my invitation, my recommendation.
With love and the wish for you to feel peace and meaning in your life
Thanks for reading!
Alan