believe it or believe it
thoughts on structures of belief. when I get past my stories of what actually causes things like anxiety and sadness I see that what I see as the 'reasons' for what I felt didn't actually matter, i.e. the solution is not contained within the problem.
Cause is not necessarily related to the effect, although it seems to be. So is cause and effect a good way to measure what we're going through? If you fall over you might hurt your leg - cause and effect. But does the mind work in that way? Are we going to find a solution in the problem we've got? This fascinates me.
One thing that really interests me is social conditioning/social status. It is accepted that if you come from a poor background you are less likely to have what someone might judge to be access to 'success'. But is that because of the circumstances or because of the story we are told and we tell ourselves about the circumstances, because these are 2 very different things.
What happens and what we tell ourselves happens are 2 different things. The stories we tell ourselves are what have power over us. I find that when I'm in flow and things are going well I couldn't give two f*#ks about what's happened to me in the past or even what else is going on in my life. It's completely irrelevant. I am doing what I want to I am in flow and happy and that is what is happening.
When things are not going my way, something else happens. I look for the cause. What 'made' me feel like this? What is to blame for how I'm currently feeling? I get lost. I start to analyse and end up finding some reason why this is happening; eg,
- It's because I eat too much sugar
- It's because of the Tories
- It's because I grew up where I did/have the family I have/lack of opportunity/possibility/confidence because of this stuff that happened.
Absolute nonsense.
Nothing that happened influences who I am now unless I tell myself it does. And believe me I have spent innumerable hours telling myself these amazing tales!
My brain adapts, genes adapt, there's nothing about me that's stuck or fixed. Yes I know that traumatic events leave markers - definitely not arguing with that, but what I am arguing is whether or not this stuff can be shifted.
Conditioning is nothing but stories I have been told or have told myself enough times so I think it's true. When I think something is true it becomes a belief. Fact. It's scientific and logical. But we are not logical beings.
The part of our brain that wants us in the safety of habits and beliefs is the same part that will be die to maintain that safety - addiction is a great example.
Is that logical? Yes, actually it is. The amygdala is a dangerous beast and it will do what it takes to protect us, to make us act to stop the uncomfortable feelings from happening. That can take us all the way to death if we're not careful and if we're lucky, sometimes it will just ruin our lives and the lives of those around us for a period of time.
All that ravaging comes with its own set of beliefs and social stigmas, which makes it even more difficult to get past the stories and beliefs around it.
When it comes down to it, I choose connection over disconnection, I choose to think that belief is a lot of why I am the way I am, i.e. the reasons, because I have reasoned myself into this place I am now in.
So when it comes to cause and effect, I suppose it is true, it just might not be the way I thought it to be, e.g. not what my wicked stepfather said to me as a child but what my beliefs were as a result of that. Something that caused me to think in a certain direction, to see less possibility for myself.
I think, therefore I am not free. LOL! Full of contradictions, full of nonsense and everything is made up anyway so here's a bit of my contribution. All taken with a good dose of compassion and a grain of salt.
Woop!